Former “Bushie” chief speechwriter Marc Thiessen has written another opinion piece in this morning’s Washington Post and, like most WP columns, it is terrible. But lopsidedly so! It starts on the standard torture defense notes — if torture was effective sometimes then how do you deal with THAT, libtards? Would you rather be dead? — but then just has to go a bit further: apparently the CIA knows very much about the Muslim religion, and it turns out that they, the Muslims, want to be tortured, and the interrogators are just trying to help them on their spiritual quest. MORE »

SPACE JESUS WILL FROWN AT YOU TONIGHT!!! Here’s a fun astronomical thing you can enjoy even if you live in the filthy light-polluted city: Figure out how to go outside and look at the sky, to the south (Google can help you find “south,” maybe!), about 20 minutes after sundown, and you will see what looks like a shitty sideways frowny-face emoticon up there, in space! That’s Jupiter as the top eye, Venus as the other eye, and the Islamic Moon as the frowny mouth. Allah really does hate you! But He loves the people of his homeland, Australia, so those people got to see a happy face! [National Geographic/Fox News]

Honest St. John McCain sure keeps honest companies — lobbyist paramours, regular lobbyists who control every aspect of his campaign, and religious fundamentalists. First there was John Hagee, the anti-papist who McCain didn’t denounce for a long time; now we have Rod Parsley, a televangelist from Ohio. Mother Jones‘ David Corn has the full scoop on this guy, who McCain, “with Parsley by his side at the Cincinnati rally, called a ’spiritual guide.’” Interesting, since this guide likes to say that “Allah was a demon spirit.” MORE »

A gang of fundamentalist religious fanatics are trying to destroy brave U.S. troops in Iraq, but the fundamentalist religious fanatics are also U.S. troops so it’s kind of a civil war deal, but not in their own country, because they’ve occupied Iraq. MORE »