allah
Wingnuts Worried Their Anusburgers Sacrificed To Wrong ‘Demon-God’
Watch out, American Jesus fans! According to a couple of wingnuts somewhere, the poop-snausage pizza you’re eating from the Papa John’s might’ve been sacrificed to the wrong Demon-God! W-w-whut? It’s apparently true! Jews and Muslims, besides both being Semitic people of the Hebraic traditions, also like to have their factory-farmed animals killed in the industrial [...]
Texas High School Catches Al Jazeera Terrorist Asking People About 9/11
Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school [...]
National Cathedral Zapped By Quake Because of Koran Snuck Inside
One thing American God hates nearly as much as poor people and minorities is some liberalz sneaking a Koran inside His national cathedral, which is apparently what happened, and which is also the legal reason (according to the Patriot Act) why God struck the East Coast with a terrible, humiliating earthquake that also toppled His [...]
Wingnut Insists Burning Korans On 9/11 Honors Allah And All His Friends
Now that Terry Jones is apparently Florida’s #1 Muslin-loving chickenshit, the question still remains: Is there a more respectful way to showcase one’s deep-seated hatred of the Muslim faith, or is burnin’ some Queerans at your trailer park swamp church on 9/11 really the proper way to go, as far as “etiquette” is concerned? Americans [...]
Why Is Allah Killing Us With His Wild Beasts?
When a captive killer whale went nuts and killed its trainer at the Sea World a few months back, theologians from the American Family Association noted that this tragedy occurred because the aquatic-attractions horror park failed to murder the Orca after it killed its first victim, as the Old Testament instructed. Maybe? Or maybe don’t [...]
Sarah Palin Begs Allah To Plug the Danged Hole
Noted oil-industry shill Sarah Palin is so darned upset about that oil spill down in Mexico’s Gulf of New Orleans, she’s ready to beg for mercy at the feet of the Biggest Government of All. Why won’t Sarah Palin use her real-’murican can-do spirit to plug the danged hole instead of leaning on God, who [...]
Brilliant WaPo Column: CIA Tortured Terrorists To *Help* Them, With Their Religion
Former “Bushie” chief speechwriter Marc Thiessen has written another opinion piece in this morning’s Washington Post and, like most WP columns, it is terrible. But lopsidedly so! It starts on the standard torture defense notes — if torture was effective sometimes then how do you deal with THAT, libtards? Would you rather be dead? — [...]
SPACE JESUS WILL FROWN AT YOU TONIGHT!!! Here’s a fun astronomical thing you can enjoy even if you live in the filthy light-polluted city: Figure out how to go outside and look at the sky, to the south (Google can help you find “south,” maybe!), about 20 minutes after sundown, and you will see what [...]
Religious Fanatics Attack U.S. Troops In Iraq
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