Over the summer, John McCain had three finalists for his vice presidential selection. The first was Connecticut alien shit demon and known old virgin Sen. Joe Lieberman, who McCain wanted because they share the same ideology: Bomb Everyone, Otherwise, Who Cares? The second was Sarah Palin, an autistic lady governor from the Arctic who is just insane enough to appeal to Evangelicals. The last was Mittens “Willard” Romney, the president of Massachusetts and quite possibly the finest specimen our Earthly gene pool has ever produced, ‘cepting for the fact that he was born on the Mormon planet, Pluto. As Scott Horton of Harper’s and The Daily Hell Demon has discovered, it was at the insistence of New York Times “lightning rod conservative” monkey Bill Kristol, a liar and a fraud, that the McCain campaign went with Sarah Palin, and now the campaign is pissed at Kristol for making them pick this unconscionable retard. MORE »