Obama Brings Partisanship To Space Monster Crisis
Friday, August 1st, 2008
Ha ha, it’s time for the Stupid August Questions portion of the campaign. Because we all know UFOs are pretend and space aliens aren’t for realz and there’s no such thing as monsters and at least they’re not trying to kill our presidents, it’s a hoot to see Barack Obama make fun of this terrible threat to Earth. [Ben Smith/KGAN]
Ha ha, it’s time for the Stupid August Questions portion of the campaign. Because we all know UFOs are pretend and space aliens aren’t for realz and there’s no such thing as monsters and at least they’re not trying to kill our presidents, it’s a hoot to see Barack Obama make fun of this terrible threat to Earth. [Ben Smith/KGAN]
John McCain Likes To Fish On His Fake Lake
Monday, May 19th, 2008
John McCain spoke to his Confederate friends at the N.R.A. convention last week, shortly after Mike Huckabee made a joke about killing Barry Obama. McCain uttered such horrible sentences as this: “Someone should tell Senator Obama that ducks are usually hunted with shotguns.” Ha ha, what was he even talking about? DUCKS? MORE »
John McCain spoke to his Confederate friends at the N.R.A. convention last week, shortly after Mike Huckabee made a joke about killing Barry Obama. McCain uttered such horrible sentences as this: “Someone should tell Senator Obama that ducks are usually hunted with shotguns.” Ha ha, what was he even talking about? DUCKS? MORE »
Monday, April 28th, 2008
WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]
WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]
U.S. Military Escorting Alien UFOs Over Texas
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »
Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »
Murdoch-WSJ Hit Piece Destroys Kucinich Presidency
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »
Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »
Government Types Hold Alien Panel, Pull 9/11 Card
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
History will remember the 2008 Dennis Kucinich campaign for two things: his hot-ass wife Elizabeth, and bringing UFOs back into the political dialogue. Kucinich’s discussion of his UFO encounter during the last Democratic debate sparked a resurgence of very important questions about how our government is handling the “alien situation.” No, not Mexicans — like LEGIT aliens in flying saucers and shit. Last week, former Arizona Gov. Fife “The Fife” Symington wrote about his alien encounter after years of denying it. On Monday, The Fife was a key member of a UFO panel featuring experts with Air Force, NASA, FAA, Et Cetera and So Forth experience. MORE »
History will remember the 2008 Dennis Kucinich campaign for two things: his hot-ass wife Elizabeth, and bringing UFOs back into the political dialogue. Kucinich’s discussion of his UFO encounter during the last Democratic debate sparked a resurgence of very important questions about how our government is handling the “alien situation.” No, not Mexicans — like LEGIT aliens in flying saucers and shit. Last week, former Arizona Gov. Fife “The Fife” Symington wrote about his alien encounter after years of denying it. On Monday, The Fife was a key member of a UFO panel featuring experts with Air Force, NASA, FAA, Et Cetera and So Forth experience. MORE »
Former Arizona Governor Joins UFO-Sighting Craze
Friday, November 9th, 2007
Aliens were big enough of an issue at the Democratic debate two weeks ago that Tim Russert decided to end the night with a discussion of them. But even if you laughed at Dennis Kucinich and Bill Richardson discussing their UFO sightings in their attempts to make themselves even less unelectable, they’ve now got more political verification — this time, from ex-Arizona Governor Fife Symington (”Fife,” yes), who claimed he saw a UFO in 1997. Arizona is like the rich man’s New Mexico, so if you didn’t believe Bill Richardson, you better start paying attention now. MORE »
Aliens were big enough of an issue at the Democratic debate two weeks ago that Tim Russert decided to end the night with a discussion of them. But even if you laughed at Dennis Kucinich and Bill Richardson discussing their UFO sightings in their attempts to make themselves even less unelectable, they’ve now got more political verification — this time, from ex-Arizona Governor Fife Symington (”Fife,” yes), who claimed he saw a UFO in 1997. Arizona is like the rich man’s New Mexico, so if you didn’t believe Bill Richardson, you better start paying attention now. MORE »
Paultard: I Am Not A Zombie Or A Retard!
Monday, November 5th, 2007
Somewhere deep in the frozen confines of the Internet, a legion of illegal alien spambots known as “supporters of Rep. Ron Paul for president” turned their cold laser eyes towards Wonkette this weekend, “destroy” being their only directive. We’ve ripped on the ‘tards a lot recently and definitely saw this coming. But they really are kind of retarded. And spambotic. MORE »
Somewhere deep in the frozen confines of the Internet, a legion of illegal alien spambots known as “supporters of Rep. Ron Paul for president” turned their cold laser eyes towards Wonkette this weekend, “destroy” being their only directive. We’ve ripped on the ‘tards a lot recently and definitely saw this coming. But they really are kind of retarded. And spambotic. MORE »
TMI: Elizabeth and Dennis Kucinich
Friday, November 2nd, 2007
Dennis Kucinich, who’s on a weird streak even by his standards, appeared on CBS’ Early Show this morning with UFO mail-order bride Elizabeth to discuss politics or scenic Lake Erie or something. CBS Interviewer Hannah Storm had different talking points prepared, however, mostly involving Elizabeth’s tongue stud, clothes, jewelry, maybe how fucking hot she is, et cetera and so forth. MORE »
Dennis Kucinich, who’s on a weird streak even by his standards, appeared on CBS’ Early Show this morning with UFO mail-order bride Elizabeth to discuss politics or scenic Lake Erie or something. CBS Interviewer Hannah Storm had different talking points prepared, however, mostly involving Elizabeth’s tongue stud, clothes, jewelry, maybe how fucking hot she is, et cetera and so forth. MORE »
Alien Agenda: Kucinich & Obama Battle Over Space Monsters
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
The pre-Halloween Democratic Debate was the usual boring candidate circle jerk until UFO nut Tim Russert brought up his love of Space Monsters and Shirley MacLaine to Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, Kucinich has seen a UFO. MORE »
The pre-Halloween Democratic Debate was the usual boring candidate circle jerk until UFO nut Tim Russert brought up his love of Space Monsters and Shirley MacLaine to Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, Kucinich has seen a UFO. MORE »
Kucinich Smells Roses, Listens to Aliens Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
White House Also Trying To Start War With Space Monsters
Monday, October 15th, 2007
Look what you’re missing on the Tucker Carlson Show! Not much, to be sure, but we need to keep up with the Conservative Media Personalities to see what they know about Cheney’s new “moon base” which is being installed by Halliburton to goad the Space Monsters into a war so we can take all the natural resources from the gas giant Bespin. The ex-Canadian assistant space police guy under Pierre Trudeau is saying this, so it’s probably pretty much true. Also, Tucker supports bombing innocent E.T. babies with depleted plutonium, and he has patriotically assaulted many older gay aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina.
Bush Plans Defence Stance Against Aliens [YouTube]
Look what you’re missing on the Tucker Carlson Show! Not much, to be sure, but we need to keep up with the Conservative Media Personalities to see what they know about Cheney’s new “moon base” which is being installed by Halliburton to goad the Space Monsters into a war so we can take all the natural resources from the gas giant Bespin. The ex-Canadian assistant space police guy under Pierre Trudeau is saying this, so it’s probably pretty much true. Also, Tucker supports bombing innocent E.T. babies with depleted plutonium, and he has patriotically assaulted many older gay aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina.
Bush Plans Defence Stance Against Aliens [YouTube]
