Tag: alec

Too sexy for my shirt

Gun Humping A-OK In Cleveland, But No Umbrellas, You Could Put Someone’s Eye Out

Ohio governor and constitutional scholar John Kasich has rejected a police union's request to ban open gun carry in Cleveland in the midst of Republican National Convention protests, because what's the worst that could happen? Besides, his hands are...
all woman, no kidneys

Rejoice! New Barbie Body Types Will Enhance Self-Esteem Of Mattel Shareholders

This week we'll talk about dolls, soda and lying because deep down, like most of us, our Corporate Persons are runny-nosed little kids. Barbie's new curves not as hot as some of the takes they're producing Barbie! She's...
Well THERE'S yer problem...

ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS

Good news, everyone! The American Legislative Exchange Council, everyone's favorite corporate whore lobbying national legislative information-sharing group promoting free-market values, is officially not a nest of climate deniers. And if you say they are, they'll send you a pissy...
Good evening, Des Moines!

Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin

It’s a new year, which means government executives all over the country are in the midst of self-congratulatory presentations of cherry-picked accomplishments and passive-aggressively reading lists of future demands. It’s mostly trite and zzzzzzzz but some of them are...
Princess Celestia is going to be SO pissed about this...

Dumb New Mexico Hippies Refusing To Burn Their Fair Share Of Coal

In what's just the latest of several similar moves to make customers who have rooftop solar electricity systems "pay their fair share" for being less polluting, the largest utility in New Mexico, PNM Resources, has proposed a surcharge on...

Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!

It's that time of year again, Wonketeers! We're gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we...
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John Oliver: Forget The Senate, These State Elections Are Really Going To Screw Us (Video)

Tomorrow's the big election, and while most of the hoopla is about who's going to control the Senate, John Oliver would just like to remind you that 1) No matter who's in charge, the Senate isn't going to get...

Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day

  When it comes to threats against fair elections in America, voter fraud is the new Black Panthers. The way everyone's talking about electoral integrity this fall, people must be fake-voting coast to coast! With the midterm elections coming up on Tuesday,...

Oklahoma Attorney General Doesn’t Understand How Science, The EPA, Or Teevee Works, Apparently

It will not surprise any of you to learn that those of us behind the scenes here at yr Wonkette are not a particularly prayerful bunch. Prayer time interferes with our sexxxytime and getting high and it REALLY fucks...
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A Children’s Treasury Of ALEC Protester Funtimes

ALEC is the American Legislative Exchange Council, a business-casual matchmaker service between corporate interests and sympathetic lawmakers. They operate mostly in state legislatures, where they have used "model legislation" to enact such beneficial statutes as Stand Your Ground and Block...

Ted Cruz To ALEC: ‘Stand Your Ground.’ ALEC To Ted Cruz: Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout?

Now, look, Ted Cruz, just because the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) wrote model "stand your ground" legislation that got adopted by a whole bunch of states , that doesn't mean they want you going around reminding people of...

Hero Lobby Group ALEC Seeks To Tax Sunshine

What is even worser than taxing the rain and by extension the heavens and G_d Himself? Taxing sunshine. Hahaha, we are just kidding, it is obviously not a problem to tax the sun because it is a proposal put...

Governor Scott, Champion of Public Health, Bans Sick Pay

Nothing can improve your dining experience like having a sick waitstaff, except possibly knowing that the cook who prepared your food is also stricken with the flu. That also will improve your dining experience, because it will expose you...

ALEC Is Meeting In Oklahoma City; What Should Commie Mom Put On Her Protest Sign?

Wonkers, help a sister mamacita communista out. ALEC -- the patriots behind such pieces of legislative perfection as Stand Your Ground laws and ag-gag bills and anti-renewable-energy cool stuff -- is meeting today at Cox Convention Center in Oklahoma...

Utah Lady Arrested For Documenting Animal Abuse Because She Is An Animal Raper Obviously

ALEC, the American Legislative Exchange Council, has been busy passing Stand Your Ground laws and unionbusting laws and putting children in prison laws. You know, your basic "common good." But it also has a fun new "ag gag" bill...

‘I Was In Fear,’ Yells Florida Man, Guns Blazing, After Shooting Person For Trying To Sell Him Frozen Steaks

Excellent, now even the "neighborhood crazies" have learned the Get Out of Jail Free code word for Stand Your Ground: "I was in fear." Unfortunately for "neighborhood crazy" Kenneth Roop, there was a witness who saw him gun down...