Vanity Fair has come crawling back to DC. After an eight year absence, they’re once again throwing a White House Correspondents Association dinner afterparty. And, like in the olden days, it is to be held at Chris Hitchens’ alcohol-infused, highly-flammable house. MORE »

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: the all-important Union Station men’s room conundrum.

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Remember how every state in the country decided to move their primaries to early February, just to fuck up the ‘08 presidential race even more? Turns out they all, in their wise judgment, decided to hold this new “Super-duper Tuesday” on Mardi Gras! MORE »

Friday MORE »

* Senior writer at U.S. News & World Report, Dan Gilgoff, “argues that press-shy James Dobson should be regarded as the most powerful evangelical spokesman of the past decade (surpassing Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson).” Gilgoff discusses the book at Olsson’s in Penn Quarter at 7PM. [Olsson's]
* Phillips Collection Assistant Curator Susan Behrends Frank hosts an evening of short films “based on vaudevillian skits of the artist and his model. Through trick photography and illusions, these comic shorts explore the magic of artistic production from drawing and painting to photography and filmmaking.” Free at 6:30PM. [Phillips]
* Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy joins the Shakespeare Theatre Company for “an audience-participatory trial of Hamlet.” As the NYT nonsensically said, “The mock trial is a Washington wonk’s dream.” It’s sold out. $35 at 7:30PM. [Kennedy Center]
* “Beyond Manischewitz” Wine-Tasting at the historic 6th and I Synagogue. Find out what makes wine kosher and taste various reds and whites. Appetizers. $30 at 7PM. [6th and I Synagogue]

* Heard on the Hill: Folks who drank for free at Tuesday night’s Guinness-sponsored St Patrick’s Day party were cool, but if you tried to take the free cab home, you were in violation of House Ethics rules… Post reporter wanders onto House floor during first day on the job… Everyone loves Stevie Wonder… Senators are not very punctual, find it difficult to make it to the Capitol in time to vote. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Chuck Schumer’s “It’s Academic” team reunited. Breaking: Chuck Schumer was a tool in 1967 too… The BBC reported that some fake blog was actually written by Patrick Fitzgerald. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Rep. Dennis Rehberg admits to being illiterate… Thaddeus McCotter is holding a fundraiser tonight at the Chi-Cha Lounge so that he can smoke. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Sens. Clinton and Lott barely made it to the Senate in time for for the cloture vote in Iraq… Which Dem lawmaker’s leaked Dave Obey’s made-up info to the press? … José Serrano: funny guy! … Rep. Dutch Ruppersberger: 36th most liked member of congress… Wyclef loves Barry Obama. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Jean Schmidt slipped and fell on vomit in a Cannon bathroom. Laughing out loud, etc. etc. [Politico]
* Rush & Molloy: Senator Arnold Schwarzenegger? God save us all. [NYDN]

* Ane Brun in concert at House of Sweden in Georgetown. There will be a bar and an Intern Nick. $5 at 7:30PM. [Embassy of Sweden]
* Delwende at the Hirshhorn. It’s ” based on a true story about a woman driven out of her village for allegedly being a witch. A sensitively crafted human drama with music and voice by the Senegalese artist Wasis Diop, this is a story of a mother and daughter that focuses on the human costs of traditional practices and women’s struggle for justice.” $13 at 7PM. [Smithsonian]
* As Brightest Young Things put it, “Remember Janeane Garofalo? I still think she’s cool.” She’s doing standup tonight at the State Thatre. $27.50 at 8:30PM. [BYT]
* Drink cheap, win a trip to Ireland where you’ll probably drink a little less cheaply. [FreeRide]

More than a quarter of members report that they regularly drink “heavily,” drug use is up, there’s been a 20% increase in fat people, and outrageous slapstick football games are happening more frequently than they have in 30 years: the ’70s are back in the Army! MORE »

Bob Ney, America’s Greatest Tragic Hero, is off to the Federal Pen today. Yesterday, presumably over a half-empty Jim Beam decanter, he poured his heart out into one last, teary MySpace bulletin to those who’ve stood behind him in this trying times. MORE »

Yes, we know that Antonin Scalia’s daughter was arrested last night for drunk driving. MORE »

Now’s your chance to own a piece of Washington history: the second-most corrupt refrigerator in DC can be yours for free on Craigslist! MORE »