Tag Archives: alberto gonzalez

  but they will get a strongly worded letter

THEY’RE MORE LIKE ‘GUIDELINES': Attorney General Michael Mukasey announced today that former Justice Department officials like Monica Goodling will not face prosecution for hiring D.O.J. staffers based explicitly on their political views — i.e. how many awesome things they could say about Alberto Gonzalez in 20-second lightning round interviews. Mukasey’s statement came replete with a classic Bush Administration sound bite: “not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime.” Ha ha, the top legal official in the country just said that “violation of the law” and “crime” are different. [AP] Read more on …
 

Vote For Wonkette’s Person and Vice Person of the Year!

It becomes 2008 soon, so we have to do some sort of year-end awards. We wanted to just play it simple with a Person of the Year, but realized that two options — Larry Craig and The Paultard — would trounce the competition with their auras of massive homosexuality and abject failure. So we’re going to keep that heavyweight matchup for Person of the Year, and we’ll also have a Vice Person of the Year for other notables. Voting ends on… lemme pick an arbitrary time here… 11 am on Monday, December 31. The winner will be announced very shortly thereafter, because we have a half day and will want to leave. Vote for your ticket after the jump! Read more on Vote For Wonkette’s Person and Vice Person of the Year!…
 

Gonzo No Longer “Lawyer of the Year”

The American Bar Association announced this afternoon that we had all misunderstood their awarding “Lawyer of the Year” to former Attorney General Alberto “I’ll Decide If You Have Any Rights” Gonzalez. It’s just controversial because we all didn’t read the whole article about the award that totally said that it wasn’t because he was a good lawyer but because he made a lot of news, and we should all be really sorry that we were so mean to them. But, to prevent the rest of the world from getting confused about why they’re awarding the award to the most bullshit, unethical rights-violating lawyer of the decade, they’re changing the name of the award to “Newsmaker of the Year.” Satisfied? [American Bar Association] Read more on Gonzo No Longer “Lawyer of the Year”…
 

Daily Briefing: Lists, Fists, Mist

* Alberto Gonzalez looks down at the flag pin on his lapel and realizes he could’ve saved one more. [WP, NYT, LAT] * Halliburton gets the hell outta Dodge. [WP, NYT] * House drops the pointless language about not invading Iran from funding bill. [WSJ] * Another guy in a green suit gets fired over Walter Reed clusterfuck. [WP, NYT, USAT] * Nancy Pelosi turns the sprinklers on the hippy dipshits camped outside her house. [NYT] * Republicans don’t like being “bottoms,” pray to Reagan to deliver them from this fate. [NYT] * Iraqi firewater will make you crazy. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Lists, Fists, Mist…
 

Daily Briefing: Pride Only Hurts

* Waning paranoia about the Patriot Act goes back up to “red” as the FBI is cited for surfing Americans’ personal information like you surf for porn. [WP, NYT] * If an Iraq War spending plan gets rewritten a thousand times, then vetoed, will Nancy Pelosi cry on teevee? [WP, NYT, LAT] * Alberto Gonzalez has never met a shady “fire ‘n replace” scheme he didn’t like. Arlen Specter has never met an Attorney General that he did like. [WP] * Chuck Hagel asks John McCain, “Must you betray me with a kiss?” [WP] * “Bush Doctrine” of suspicious first-punch throwing will influence the next President, whoever she is. [WP] * Morally unassailable poor kids’ health insurance program woefully under funded. [USAT] * Newt Gingrich: hate him for the hypocrisy, love him for the skirt chasing. [AP] Read more on Daily Briefing: Pride Only Hurts…
 

Daily Briefing: Long Live Ethics

* Harry Reid stops the logjammin’ and passes “the toughest reform bill in the history” of the Senate (according to Harry Reid). The lobbyists’ lobbyist is sure it’ll just push bribing further underground, where a greased-up, shirtless Robert Byrd will have to delve to kill it at the root. [WP, LAT] * John Edwards’ Georgetown manse bought in shady deal by insider-trading grandparent-abusers. [WP] * Democrats did 100 hours worth of work in somewhere between 42 and 87 hours. [NYT] * GSA chief Lurita Doan gets so overwrought when she hears the national anthem it makes her want to give no-bid contracts to everybody she knows. [WP] * Alberto Gonzalez doesn’t have a political bone in his corruption-prosecuting-attorney-replacing body. Anybody that’s got problem with that can take it up with John Cornyn. [WP] * FISA is for turbos, but Patrick Leahy isn’t willing to follow the white rabbit down the secret court’s hole. [NYT] * Art Buchwald was a great writer, and he just died. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Long Live Ethics…
 

Daily Briefing: New Poll Finds Poll Results Ambiguous

NYT/CBS poll finds “marked disenchantment with Congress” with only 25% of respondents approving of them. 25% is also the number of people who think Bush is “mostly lying when talking about the war.” [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: New Poll Finds Poll Results Ambiguous…
 

Thank God For 24-Hour News Networks

CNN: We go live now to a press conference, where Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez is taking questions on the Moussaoui trial. Gonzalez: I’m not going to comment on the Moussaoui trial. Read more on Thank God For 24-Hour News Networks…