How did you spend the Fourth of July? Maybe having a BBQ with friends and family, watching a fireworks show, and generally enjoying a happy patriotic holiday? Batshit-insane American Quitter Sarah Palin ended her own special “Independence Day” by posting a series of desperate grammar-challenged nonsense and vicious threats on her Facebook and Twitter pages. Really. MORE »

First of all, Sarah Palin, go to HELL for ruining your editor’s day of patriotic rest and BBQ. Second, why did you really quit, crazy lady? We admit to “jumping to conclusions” (trying to hurry up and get back outside to our cocktails and friends), but the story may be more complicated than “Sarah Palin is a sociopath who will just quit being governor of Alaska THREE-AND-A-HALF YEARS before the next presidential election, just to show her, uhm, Leadership Credentials, which means constantly yelling at David Letterman about a joke she couldn’t comprehend.” But there are so many more crazy theories about America’s craziest Alaskan Anger Bear, the snowbilly grifter and strip-mall Ice Queen of Wasilla. Let’s examine them, together! MORE »

Come on, we are supposed to be celebrating AMERICA this July 4th Weekend, but of course with Sarah Palin, it’s all about Sarah Palin. So she has RUINED our Independence Day by announcing that she’s quitting the governor’s job (boring!) and handing over power to the lieutenant governor, and this apparently means she’s running for the GOP nomination for PRESIDENT (we just elected one!) in 2012, the end? Probably not. [Fox News/CNN]

Oh, there is more to the Runner’s World interview with Sarah Palin than a simple Q&A about the regrets of falling down on the jogging trail and the Secret Service keeping her vile secret. (Which, like everything uttered by Sarah Palin, is also a lie.) There’s a whole photo spread, with seven online pictures of Sarah lookin’ all perky and athletic and just cold mocking John McCain for being a crippled old man who can’t exercise at all: MORE »

The Virgin Palin, Our Lady of Eternal Anger, gave birth to the New Jesus at some point last year — or not, who knows, and now Andrew Sullivan just cares about Iran (which is a good thing!) so we’ll never find out the truth — and ever since it has been both a Cardinal/Venial Sin and Sharia Law that no mortal shall “desecrate” an image of the Sacred One … no one but Sarah Palin herself, because Allah both allows and encourages the use of the Holy Infant as a cheap political prop as long as such cruel hackery is performed by the Virgin Palin herself. MORE »

Famous bad mother Sarah Palin, hot off her successful campaign to fire David Letterman, from television, is now yelling about how some other random person hates or rapes her children. See that photoshop up there of Governor Palin with Bristol Palin’s child, Trig? We thought “Verne Troyer” too, but no, it is the head of conservative Alaskan radio host Eddie Burke, who is in love with Sarah Palin. The terrifying graphic is the work of “the liberal Alaskan blogger, Celtic Diva,” who earlier this month pushed some other story about Todd’s snowmobiling clothes. Now Palin has denounced the blogger through her evil spokesperson Meg Stapleton, who released a statement saying, “The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling.” Oh.. oh MEG. MORE »

Remember Sarah Palin, the briefly famous wingnut lady who can’t speak, can’t read and can’t even remember the name of a single newspaper she pretends to read every day? Yeah, she’s getting millions of dollars from HarperCollins to write her “memoirs.” Jesus. She hired a lawyer last year (after she lost the election for McCain) to go after an $11 million advance. MORE »

Bristol Palin appeared on the TODAY show with Matt Lauer, all holding her cute sleeping baby and smiling serenely with her long shiny hair and talking about what hard work parenting is. Really? Because it looks … kind of awesome! All you have to do is fuck some sexy dunderhead once and boom, a year later you are on national teevee looking great with your adorable child and asking teenagers to “learn from your example.” Teenage pregnancy rates are going to skyrocket. [MSNBC]

Yay, it’s Sarah Palin Tuesday! Anybody who reads that sentence and thinks, “Ugh who even cares about that woman, she is as boring as Meghan McCain” is welcome to just go slobber over Foreign Affairs if they thirst so deeply for knowledge. Everyone else can stick around for exciting Sarah Palin Memorial Gun News. MORE »

Here is an official clip prepared by the office of Texas Rep. Joe Barton titled, “Where Does Oil Come From? Question leaves Energy Secretary puzzled.” This title alone should tell you enough about what really happened. MORE »

ALASKA LEGISLATURE REJECTS FAG-HATING KKK ‘LIMA BEAN’ RAPE JOKE MONSTER: We’ve lost Wayne Anthony Ross! Sarah Palin’s wingnut-to-end-all-wingnuts nominee for state Attorney General has been rejected by both houses of the Alaska legislature. Palin’s office released a snippy statement saying, “I’m surprised that legislators in this case really did not seem to represent their constituents and allowed themselves to be swayed by side issues.” Yes, side issues, like how HE LOVES RAPE. [ADN]