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alan simpson

GRUMPY OLD MEN  9:13 am May 29, 2012

Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so [...]

EMINEMT DOMAIN  9:50 am March 8, 2011

Alan Simpson Decries Grandchildren These Days, ‘Enema Man’

by Jack Stuef

As everyone knows, high-profile old people Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles have the ear of America. Their debt commission came up with a brilliant winning solution that is being implemented now, and everyone pays attention to them and their opinions on current twenty-first century society. For example, what is the problem with grandchildren and their [...]

IT'S HOW THEY SPELL 'TEATS' IN WYOMING!  9:17 am August 26, 2010

Alan Simpson Said the Bad Word For Boobies!

by Sara Benincasa

A Republican former senator from Wyoming totally said “tits” to a lady, in an email! Specifically, Alan “Bartholomew J.” Simpson, who is now the co-chair of the White House’s Commission on Fiscal Reform, called Social Security a “cow with 310 million tits.” HAHAHAHAHH. And now some uptight lame-os want him to resign. But should he?

DOING THE SEXY MATH  3:13 pm July 12, 2010

Mean Deficit Commission Does Not Like the Deficit

by Jack Stuef

Former Clinton Chief of Staff Erskine Bowles and former Republican Senator Alan Simpson, co-chairs of Obama’s deficit commission, have done all the math and are coming out with their big report soon, and it turns out they do not think highly of our old chum the deficit. Bowles said it is “like a cancer,” which [...]


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