Frothy British Tory and leisurely National Review writer John “Salad Days” Derbyshire, most famous for being a pervert and excoriating students at Virginia Tech for not properly defending themselves against that gunman, has a new book coming out, just like every other asshole. Within this anger-pamphlet is a section called, “The Case Against Female Suffrage.” Radio host and aged goblin carcass Alan Colmes recently asked Derbyshire to explain this section. Why does he hate nice ladies so much? Any other historic civil rights achievements he wants to dial back? etc. MORE »

• NEWLY UNEMPLOYED ALAN COLMES READS LIBERAL BLOGS ALL DAY: Holy crap this is better than getting Drudged! Hello Alan! Many happy returns and best of luck finding a nubile young corpse to inhabit. [Liberaland]

After FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN Colmes has decided to leave Fox News’ top-rated muppet slappy hour Hannity & Colmes, after twelve years. Alan’s character on this long television series was that of a hapless, lanky liberal — probably a heathen Unitarian! — who was always gettin’ bullied around by his wacky Irish Catholic “co-host,” known oil goblin Sean Hannity. It was like The Odd Couple, except about politics and the Culture Wars. We would like to praise Alan for his selfless portrayal of Fox News’ gay commie foil day in and day out, for which he was paid nothing, except maybe a few millions dollars every year. After the jump, we remember Alan’s shining moment, when he “went rogue” (fought back). MORE »

You may have seen this already, on a Liberal website, in which Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs gets in Sean Hannity’s face to ask him why he hates the Jews. This is in response to a question about Bill Ayers. Alan Colmes is his usual “in-house Fox News bitch” self for a while, and then has to mediate, because Robert Gibbs and Sean Hannity are both retardssss. [YouTube]

This is so great. It’s from Hannity & Colmes, probably last night but definitely sometime recently, and the panel of guests is saying how John Edwards “getting away” with his affair (really?) reveals a double standard — because when Republicans get caught fucking something that isn’t a wife, it taints the whole party, but with Democrats, it just ruins the individual. In other words, we should not trust liberals because John Edwards banged his fake videographer. Anyway, around 2:50, Alan Colmes for the first time in his life starts crushing everyone. MORE »

On Sunday’s edition of Hannity and Colmes, Alan Colmes and some guests, including “former homicide detective” Rod Wheeler, discussed a minor controversy surrounding Arizona police reports that prematurely label suspects as “Hispanic.” Wheeler can look beyond all this cutesy bullshit, however, and shows Colmes what his “liberal” mind can’t understand: This wasn’t some squint, it was a taco taco Mexican! But he’s black so I guess he can say it. [via ThinkProgress]

So earlier today we speculated that our pal Alan Colmes was the illicit love child of Rob Lowe and Kermit the Frog. We thought we presented some pretty strong evidence to support our case:

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So imagine how thrilled we were this morning to open our inbox and find an angry email from our buddy Alan Colmes, who, while Googling his own name, came across yesterday’s item about him and macaca:

You misquoted me. I did NOT say that “Macaca” means “Mohawk”. I said the opposite. And my comment that “he’s from Virginia, from Fairfax County” was to point out that Allen was being smarmy my saying “Welcome to America.” Who wrote this post? And why did you take me out of context?

Our response after the jump.

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