alabama
Here’s Dale Peterson, who is just a little bit INTENSE, especially about his mealy-mouthed jackass opponents in the Republican primary who are just doing such terrible stuff like stealing signs and making jokes on the Facebook. Is this a time to joke? Dale Peterson’s gonna come pump you full of birdshot you damned pansy communist. [...]
The closely monitored Alabama Republican gubernatorial primary race has taken another comical advertising turn, this one not even involving Tim James, who is in like 20th place despite being hilarious. Candidate Roy Moore is attacking fellow candidate Bradley Byrne for suggesting that evolution is something worth considering, and that the Bible is not entirely literally [...]
Deep-thinkin’ Mexican tort-reformin’ bidnessman Tim James, candidate for Alabama governor, has released the latest installment in his “wander ’round the mansion lookin’ pensive ‘n’ shit” series of advertisements. This one’s called “Sex Offenders” and opens with our hero, top shirt button undone and tie loosened for the first time, clutching his terrified wife and saying, [...]
Okay, one more. Tim James has another ad. Same dramatic pauses. Same wandering all over the damn place. Tim James is a national treasure and should be put in a time capsule. It makes sense to us.
You may have seen this already, but it is the funniest 30-second spot of the year so far. Tim James, candidate for Alabama governor, is all hot and bothered about them taco-eaters and such like reading in that taco-talk when they get their driver’s licenses at the taco shop. :21 through :27 deserves a Best [...]
Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, the 2012 candidate everyone’s heard about and immediately forgotten, holds a very special position for the Republican party: he runs around the country giving speeches that no one cares about BUT ONLY TO DISGUISE his true purpose, which is cash. He distributes unmarked bills and checks to people. Powerful people. Real [...]
Why’d you do it, Lindsey Graham? We await an apology via your publicist, Meghan McCain. [RedState] Meet Aaron Schock, the handsomest Republican congressman since Mark Foley — SWIMSUIT PHOTOS! [Something Awful] What’s the point of a 60-vote majority if it votes the same way as the 40-vote minority? Wait a second … [Think Progress] A [...]
Huzzah for the Can-Do spirit of Americans, who continue to just pile on the pounds despite the nation’s crushed economy. Turns out you don’t need much money to become obese! And without jobs, Americans have more time than ever to sit in front of teevee eating another bucket of corn-syrup taco-ball cheezey-poop pasta-bowl Grease Dipperz™. [...]
MEANWHILE IN STATE LEGISLATIVE NEWS: “MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — A resolution has been introduced in the Alabama House that praises Miss USA contestant [Miss California] Carrie Prejean for speaking out against gay marriage during Sunday night’s televised pageant.” Man, it’s been an uphill climb for Alabama ever since slavery ended, huh? [WHNT]
This may come as a shock, but a prominent anti-homosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the [...]
