Tag Archives: alabama

  And they did it wearing flannel!

Clever Gay-Hating Bigot Children Hang Nooses, Offer To Lynch Gay Kids. For Jesus.

Haha bros, sorry you dressed up as a gay stereotype and stuff.
Students at McGuffey High School in Claysville, Pennsylvania — not far from Pittsburgh, but far enough away that they are in the “Alabama” section of the state — have had it with having to live in a world where LGBT also live and make a point, one day a year, about how they do not want to be bullied (and worse) by their classmates, for being gay. So in response to the high school’s annual Day Of Silence, the Not Gay kids decided to hold “anti-gay” days on Thursday and Friday, where they all got to dress up as lesbians as bears in flannel shirts, and they wrote “anti-gay” on their hands, and, according to openly bisexual student Zoe Johnson, made a list of gay kids to hang, as kids do: Read more on Clever Gay-Hating Bigot Children Hang Nooses, Offer To Lynch Gay Kids. For Jesus….
  make yourself a nice bloody mary and sit with us

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won’t you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn’t all Indiana and gays and religious freedom! (Er, actually a lot of it was, but other things also happened, according to our admittedly hazy memory.) Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!…
  It's Not A Change Of Heart If You Lack One In The First Place

Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient

Let's hear it for the free press. And public shaming.
Well that was satisfyingly fast. After news broke late last week that Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, an OB/GYN, was trying to repeal a 1999 law passed after a woman died under his care, Stutts turned around Tuesday and withdrew the bill, muttering that he’d have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling reporters. Read more on Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient…
  Bringing Back 'Drive Through Deliveries' For Freedom

Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’

Larry, you ignorant Stutts
Here’s a shining example of how the noble institutions of democracy can address injustice: Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, MD, an OB/GYN who just took office in January, has introduced a bill to repeal a law inspired by the death of one of his patients. Needless to say, Stutts insists that he just wants to keep the state from interfering with the precious doctor-patient relationship, for freedom; just please don’t anybody look too hard at how that doctor-patient relationship worked out 17 years ago for one of his patients who died, we think we mentioned that, didn’t we? Read more on Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’…
  Remember The Alahomo

Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo

Yes, this really exists
Ten Commandments Hero Chief Justice Roy Moore came from Alabama with a Brawndo on his knee t’other day, visiting the Lone Star State Monday to address a very important “Defense of Texas Marriage Amendment Rally,” where he said that he is willing to lay down his very life to stop people with the wrong combinations of genitals from entering into marriage contracts. Also, he is worried about all the hyperbole and exaggeration in the world today. Read more on Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo…
  How are the gays messing with Texas today?

Texas AG Will Protect State From Scourge Of Gay-Marrieds Caring For Sick Spouses

Did baby do a bad bad thing?
Texas is pulling out all the stops to make sure the gay-marrieds are completely unable to mess with Texas, right up until June, when the Supreme Court is probably going to mess with Texas in such a gay way that they’ll be walking funny for days. Today’s Texan hero is Attorney General Ken Paxton, who has filed a lawsuit against the overreaching federal government, because they don’t want to give family leave to gays who have sick, gay spouses: Read more on Texas AG Will Protect State From Scourge Of Gay-Marrieds Caring For Sick Spouses…
  Here's an ACTUAL candidate for rehoming

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore’s Offspring Arrested For Being Good Christian, Also Drugs

Awwww, he's cute, doesn't look near as stupid as his Daddy.
It’s very difficult these days, managing a career devoted to mangling the lives of LGBT people you’ve never met, and also raising your own children. Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore knows this struggle well, as he seems to have a rabid dick-child who probably needs to be rehomed with nature. The child’s name is Caleb, and he is probably wasted right now, as he was when he got arrested again for being a ne’er-do-well: Read more on Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore’s Offspring Arrested For Being Good Christian, Also Drugs…
 

Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course

it's not playing the
On Saturday, your blackest president ever, Barack Obama, traveled to Selma, Alabama, to speak at the 50th anniversary commemoration of “Bloody Sunday,” when civil rights protesters were beaten by police when they walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. The events of Bloody Sunday and other protest marches in Alabama led directly to the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, so this is an excellent event to solemnly celebrate, and we are very happy that both Republicans and Democrats joined in attending the event, including former President George W. Bush and many congressional Republicans. Read more on Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course…
  Next they'll be giving their Lifetime Achievement Award to dead George Wallace

Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore

A group that calls itself the Coalition of African-American Pastors has finally found a freedom fighter worthy of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy, and it is the holistically bigoted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, he who has been heroically standing in the gay courthouse door, for freedom, pretty much this entire year, and whose court buddies on Tuesday decided to set up camp in their own courthouse doors to protect Alabama from gay marriage, at least until SCOTUS crams it down all their throats for good in June. Read more on Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore…
  writ of mandumbass

Alabama Supreme Court Gonna Halt All Them Homosexual ‘Marriages,’ By God

Apparently Chief Justice Roy Moore and his ‘Bama Supreme Court judge pals, all of whom are clear examples of why judges should not be elected, and all of whom should be fired, would prefer that the United States Supreme Court have to stick its foot ALL THE WAY up their asses on the marriage issue, none of this “just the tip” stuff anymore, that’s not at all what they like. Why? The Alabama Supremes decided Tuesday night to issue a writ of mandumbass mandamus, a complicated legal-like term, which ordered Alabama’s probate judges to stop issuing marriage licenses to gay couples entirely, at least for the time being. Why? Because they found a few little loopholes that will not at all be relevant when SCOTUS finishes them off in June: Read more on Alabama Supreme Court Gonna Halt All Them Homosexual ‘Marriages,’ By God…
  It's a travesty!

Ted Cruz So Sad AG Nominee Loretta Lynch Does Not Agree With Him On Legal Issues, Time To Burn Everything Down

Ted Cruz, constitutionally consistent
Here is whiny tantrum baby Ted Cruz (R-BrylCreem), being sad that his Imperial Majesty B. Hussein Obama is still presidenting around and trying to do things like Get His Attorney General Nominee Loretta Lynch Confirmed By The Senate. As if any Republican president ever tried a scam like that! Cruz said in an interview with Newsmax that it would be a “travesty” for the Senate to vote on Lynch. A travesty! Cruz believes that Lynch would be “materially worse” than current Attorney General Eric Holder, whom Cruz loathes with a fiery passion equaled only by his hatred of undocumented immigrants, The Gays, health insurance coverage, post-birth Poor babies, ladies with choices, and a natural, windswept hairdo. Read more on Ted Cruz So Sad AG Nominee Loretta Lynch Does Not Agree With Him On Legal Issues, Time To Burn Everything Down…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  And he'll lose there too

Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God

America’s most esteemed jurist, Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, is not giving up his fight to save Alabama from the hordes of gays currently destroying the state by having equal marriage rights. Even though a terrible federal judge named Callie V.S. Granade (sounds like GRENADE because she GRENADED opposite marriage) not only ruled Alabama’s marriage amendment unconstitutional, but also had the audacity to order probate judges to actually DO WHAT SHE SAID, and even though the Supreme Court was okay with all of this, Roy Moore wants everybody to know that he will be forced to defy a Supreme Court ruling in favor of gayness, because “organic law” and Jesus: Read more on Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God…
  We've all heard this song already

Federal Judge To Alabama: Do What I F*cking Said Already!

This week some Alabamians have been absolutely thrilled that marriage equality has come to their state. Others have been just reeling, losing their very minds over the fact (FACT) that their God will now be raining hellfire and frogs down on their state for failing to preserve marriage as between one wingnut and one lady wingnut. Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore has been leading the way, telling probate judges that NO, you do NOT have to listen to a federal judge or the Supreme Court, Alabama is a sovereign nation run by God, and if God or Roy didn’t sign the order, it’s unenforceable. Read more on Federal Judge To Alabama: Do What I F*cking Said Already!…