Tag Archives: alabama

  He seemed nice

Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!

Just another member of the Lone Wolf Freedom Shooty Brigade Of Lone Wolves
If the online footprint of the Lafayette shooter identified by police as John Russell Houser, who killed two and injured nine others during a Thursday night showing of Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck before then killing himself, is any indication, Obama has really outdone himself in the false flag department this time. What did Houser hate? Pretty much everything that’s good and decent. What did he love? The Tea Party (at least enough to have an account, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, on the Tea Party Nation website), white supremacy, and also, too, Hitler. Let’s have a look-see, starting with a Twitter account bearing Houser’s name, and with only two tweets: Read more on Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!…
  Just close your eyes and think of Jesus

Alabama Needs Time To Relax Sphincter For First Gay Marriaging

The threat is real.
Alabama has officially joined the bandwagon of Sore Losers who refuse to believe the War on Marriage Equality is over, and the bigots did not win. The state’s Supreme Court issued an order Monday, declaring that even though the United States Supreme Court already ruled on Obergefell v. Hodges, Alabama has not decided yet whether that ruling applies (spoiler: it does), so the case is NOT closed: Read more on Alabama Needs Time To Relax Sphincter For First Gay Marriaging…
  Jebus Says You Don't Have To Do Your Job

Texas And Other States Fixin’ To Secede From Gay Union

Needs to be about 20% gayer
As you could have predicted, for all the celebrations of Friday’s Great Big Supreme Court decision, it’s now time for the foot-dragging by people who simply don’t wanna ride the Gay Marry-Go-Round. Chief among them is Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who issued an epic cri de butthurt Friday that explained how the First Amendment prohibits making Christian bigots feel bad. He followed that up with a letter Sunday offering Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick his carefully thought out legal advice, which is that while marriage equality is the law of the land, county clerks can feel free to refuse to issue licenses if their religious sensibilities might be bruised, and justices of the peace can similarly declare they ain’t gonna marry no gays, no sir. Oh Texas. You’re going to look so silly when your ass is getting sued. Read more on Texas And Other States Fixin’ To Secede From Gay Union…
  Last Night I saw Lester Maddox On The TV

Fired White Supremacist Cop Seeks Confederate Support (U.S. Currency Only)

May not be negotiable outside LOS meetings
Last week we brought you the story of two cops in Anniston, Alabama, who lost their jobs with the police force because of their involvement with the racist neo-Confederate group the League of the South. One, Lt. Wayne Brown, resigned, and the other, Lt. Josh Doggrell, was fired. Now poor Josh Dogrell, clearly the victim of Political Correctness and anti-white hatred, is begging fellow bigots to give him money so he can sue — or at least have some bigot money. Read more on Fired White Supremacist Cop Seeks Confederate Support (U.S. Currency Only)…
  Southern Man Better Keep Your Head

Alabama Cops Suspended Just For Being In Neo-Confederate Hate Group. How Is That Fair? (UPDATED)

Thank goodness racism is over
[Update: There have been new developments; please see end of post] Oh, look, it’s more Not Racial Transcendence, in a story that might have been huge if it hadn’t been overshadowed by Wednesday’s massacre in Charleston. Two cops in Anniston, Alabama, have been suspended after being outed as members of the neo-Confederate hate group the League of the South. The Southern Poverty Law Center’s Hatewatch blog identified Lt. Josh Doggrell and Lt. Wayne Brown as members of the white secessionist group Wednesday, and the city wasted little time in getting them off the street and putting them on administrative leave Wednesday afternoon. Not that there’s anything racist about the League of the South — they only want a white homeland, and while they don’t necessarily hate blacks, they don’t consider them actual Southerners. Read more on Alabama Cops Suspended Just For Being In Neo-Confederate Hate Group. How Is That Fair? (UPDATED)…
  Don't try this at home or anywhere ever

Man Bones Wife’s Dog. Down, Boy, Down!

No. Just ... no.
Um, fellas? We know it can be hard to be a man sometimes because … well, you say so. It can be especially hard if you are the jealous type, and your wife does not dote on you 27 hours a day, because she’d rather play with her shih tzu — awwwwww, so cute, they fit in your tote bag and everything! — or drink pink cocktails with her girlfriends or just not be around you because you are you, so can you blame her? You could try being better at husbanding. Or use your words, like a grown-up, to communicate your feelings. BUT. Please do take note: This is very important. Do NOT end up like Jonathan Edward Medley of Alabama, charged with a misdemeanor for, dear god, fucking his wife’s dog: Read more on Man Bones Wife’s Dog. Down, Boy, Down!…
  Irony Meter Explodes

Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’

People who wouldn't let their kids see an R-rated movie take them to rallies to hold bloody fetus posters.
We’ll grant this much to the fetus fetishists of the “pro-life” crowd: they’re endlessly imaginative in coming up with new ways to make it harder for women to get access to a legal medical procedure. Take the fine folks in the Alabama Senate — please, take them! — who passed a bunch of restrictions and requirements for clinics that perform abortions (mandating the same structural standards as surgical facilities and hospital-width hallways, for instance). The Alabama Women’s Wellness Center (AWWC) in Huntsville opened a new office designed to comply with the restrictions, with the added benefit of having a full parking lot so patients wouldn’t have to walk past protesters offering them “counseling” by screaming “baby murderer” in their faces, from the sidewalk. But now, state senators are expected to pass a law that would prohibit abortion clinics from operating within 200 feet of a school — and the AWWC just happens to be across and down the street from a middle school that’s being refurbished and will be re-opening as a magnet school in the fall. How conVEENient! Read more on Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’…
  Ride my mustache away from the gay menace

Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?

Come live inside my manly face hairs.
The Supreme Court is just about ready, any day now, to throatcram America TO DEATH, with gay marriage, and very serious newsman Joseph Farah, of the pre-condom gay porn-era Farahs, has taken to the august pixels of his very serious online newspaper WorldNetDaily, to propose a solution: If America simply must have gay marriage, we should pick a state, for all the sad people who hate gays more than they love life to move to, and then get that state to secede from the US and A: Read more on Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?…
  Jesus Built My Critical Thinking

Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys

'Maybe God made a monkey that doesn't like to think it's a monkey, and lies a lot.' -- Joe Rogan
This is exciting! Alabama state Rep. Mack “Not a Porn Name” Butler has introduced a bill that will encourage students to “think critically” about science by allowing teachers greater latitude to add stuff to science classes that isn’t so much science as not science, so everyone can learn more better! As Butler explains on his highly amusing Facebook page, it’s all about freedom and openness, and learning that we didn’t come from monkeys! Read more on Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys…
  Why tinker with what ain't need fixin'?

Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!

But definitely not racist restrictions, racism is over.
It was wonderful in 2013 when the Supreme Court finally decided that racism was over, and as a gesture of their goodwill, struck down Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act, the part that said states like Mississippi and Alabama have to ask permission before changing voting rules to hurt minorities, not that they would ever do anything like that. It’s not like those states (or any of the other states) have any sort of history of institutionalized racism or anything! Of course, the intention of that SCOTUS ruling was to have Congress go in and “update” that section, to bring it more in line with 2015 racism, as opposed to 1965 racism. Which brings us to Chuck Grassley, Republican senator of Iowa! Read more on Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!…
  And they did it wearing flannel!

Clever Gay-Hating Bigot Children Hang Nooses, Offer To Lynch Gay Kids. For Jesus.

Haha bros, sorry you dressed up as a gay stereotype and stuff.
Students at McGuffey High School in Claysville, Pennsylvania — not far from Pittsburgh, but far enough away that they are in the “Alabama” section of the state — have had it with having to live in a world where LGBT also live and make a point, one day a year, about how they do not want to be bullied (and worse) by their classmates, for being gay. So in response to the high school’s annual Day Of Silence, the Not Gay kids decided to hold “anti-gay” days on Thursday and Friday, where they all got to dress up as lesbians as bears in flannel shirts, and they wrote “anti-gay” on their hands, and, according to openly bisexual student Zoe Johnson, made a list of gay kids to hang, as kids do: Read more on Clever Gay-Hating Bigot Children Hang Nooses, Offer To Lynch Gay Kids. For Jesus….
  make yourself a nice bloody mary and sit with us

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won’t you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn’t all Indiana and gays and religious freedom! (Er, actually a lot of it was, but other things also happened, according to our admittedly hazy memory.) Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!…
  It's Not A Change Of Heart If You Lack One In The First Place

Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient

Let's hear it for the free press. And public shaming.
Well that was satisfyingly fast. After news broke late last week that Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, an OB/GYN, was trying to repeal a 1999 law passed after a woman died under his care, Stutts turned around Tuesday and withdrew the bill, muttering that he’d have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling reporters. Read more on Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient…
  Bringing Back 'Drive Through Deliveries' For Freedom

Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’

Larry, you ignorant Stutts
Here’s a shining example of how the noble institutions of democracy can address injustice: Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, MD, an OB/GYN who just took office in January, has introduced a bill to repeal a law inspired by the death of one of his patients. Needless to say, Stutts insists that he just wants to keep the state from interfering with the precious doctor-patient relationship, for freedom; just please don’t anybody look too hard at how that doctor-patient relationship worked out 17 years ago for one of his patients who died, we think we mentioned that, didn’t we? Read more on Alabama Senator-Doctor Will Finally Get Revenge On New Mom Who Died Under His ‘Care’…
  Remember The Alahomo

Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo

Yes, this really exists
Ten Commandments Hero Chief Justice Roy Moore came from Alabama with a Brawndo on his knee t’other day, visiting the Lone Star State Monday to address a very important “Defense of Texas Marriage Amendment Rally,” where he said that he is willing to lay down his very life to stop people with the wrong combinations of genitals from entering into marriage contracts. Also, he is worried about all the hyperbole and exaggeration in the world today. Read more on Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo…