It’s a bit early in the day, but if you can stomach it here is a short clip featuring three (3) of our favorite charlatans: Ann Coulter, Geraldo Rivera, and Al Sharpton. Apparently Geraldo calls Coulter an “opportunist” toward the end of this thing, but we were distracted by our own speculation about what happened to the old Al Sharpton, the one who would have eaten this shrunken new morsel of an Al Sharpton for breakfast along with some grits and white gravy. [The YouTubes]

• If you thought Marion Barry could dance, think again! Because Al Sharpton is nimble as a ballerina. [Michelle Malkin]
• With all its student loans and Mongolian hordes of credit card debt, California is having a hard time paying the bills! But that hasn’t stopped the California State Legislature from jerkin’ the gherkin and debating into the wee hours about COW TAILS and other issues concerning cow anatomy, like, for example, why they have tails and we don’t? Sounds like a job for a new ad-hoc committee! Oh dear, Arnold Schwarzenegger IST SEHR ANGRY. [Hit & Run]
• Andrew Sullivan, his keyboard still dipped in Hezbollah green, continues to blog for freedom, in his bathrobe. And just like everyone else who fights the Man, Andrew Sullivan listens to the hip-hop. Behold: the KRS-One of Iran. Woop-Woop! [Andrew Sullivan]
• A few deeply concerned Republican lawmakers held an intervention for Michele Bachmann, because they were justifiably worried all the paint huffing was taking its toll. But who are you going to listen to, Michele? These Republican faggots, or Alex Jones? [HuffPost]
• The other day we reported that Matt Yglesias was writing a blog about all the fun he was having reading Infinite Jest. Well looky here! The game is the same, but the rules have changed! [Read Infinite Jest Until Ken Layne's Book Is Published]

It’s so easy to confuse the Als Sharpton and Franken, with the one being a black Baptist minister and the other being a white Jew from Minnesota. (Thank you master proofreader “Vic” for bringing this to our attention!) [Huffington Post]

After centuries of entrapment in a vaguely humanoid husk, the alien mutant Alan Colmes was finally permitted to slither out through a nostril and return to the elvin sewers from which he was fished so long ago. This left Sean Hannity in a pickle, because he still needed somebody to abuse every night on his television show. MORE »

Al Sharpton is really important to politicians, and he likes it that way. Despite having spent much of his early career being viewed as a tracksuit-wearing, race-baiting rabble rouser, he is being courted by the 3 top Democratic candidates for his endorsement because of his tireless efforts to replace Jesse Jackson as the “voice” of African- Americans on social justice issues. Despite being currently under investigation for fundraising irregularities related to his 2005 Presidential campaign (which he says is a result of picketing the DOJ along with tens of thousands of other people and every other prominent African-American in the country), Al says “I think this has been a banner year, to say the least,” because of the renewed attention to civil rights brought on by the Sean Bell case, the Imus remarks, the Jena 6 march and the DOJ protest. I dunno, Al, I might’ve considered it a banner year if none of that shit happened, being as it was shitty and all for the people it actually happened to, but then you wouldn’t have been on the teevee as much and candidates wouldn’t be groveling for the imprimatur of your endorsement. So I guess it depends a lot on your definition of “a banner year.” [Washington Post]

The FBI subpoenaed as many as 10 associates for Al Sharpton yesterday, demanding financial records dating back to 2001. According to some source who talked to the New York Daily News, “The FBI and IRS are investigating whether Sharpton improperly misstated the amount of money he raised during his 2004 White House run to illegally obtain federal matching funds.” This is all well and good, but can’t we prosecute someone a little more important, for something a little more devious? [NYDN]

Al Shapton, Martin Luther King III, Steve Harvey, Tom Joiner and likely every last member of the Congressional Black Caucus are all in the process of protesting the Justice Department for not pursuing hate crimes with more fervor. They are mad about the noose that was found on a Columbia prof’s door, the Jena 6 case, and recent news reports that the Justice Department has been focusing its attention on religious discrimination more than racial. This protest follows on the heels of massive protests after 9/11 to stand up against discrimination against Muslim-Americans and the coming together of a similarly large group to protest the demagoguing of Latino immigration for political… Oh, wait. Yeah, that didn’t happen. Sorry. [CNN, ABC News, Wikipedia, International Herald Tribune]

So Tom DeLay is at least top five for biggest dickheads in America, and Europeans hate Americans in general, and Oxford is a college in Europe, and at European colleges they hate Americans even more… quick calculation here… It seems Tom DeLay’s visit to an Oxford debating society didn’t go so well. Especially since he pretty much debated himself after his opponent, Al Sharpton, didn’t show up. MORE »

Dick Cheney, Barack Obama’s Rwandan uncle, visited New York Monday to participate in that old Empire State tradition of hunting at a private club. While Cheney was going around shooting pelicans or whatever, some rascal New York Daily News photographer went searching the club’s maintenance sheds for bits of racism and discovered a 3-by-5 foot Confederate flag. The Daily News notified Brooklyn’s own Greasy Bear Al Sharpton, and a fake scandal has ensued. MORE »

Portly pompadoured “shock jock” Al Sharpton said something provocative during a debate with Christopher Hitchens on Monday, causing much concern amongst those who pay attention to Al Sharpton. (Sharpton and Hitch are running against each other in the tightly contested campaign for “World’s Biggest Asshole.”) MORE »

Mere days after learning that Al Sharpton’s ancestors were once owned as slaves by the Thurmonds, the Baltimore Sun today reveals this shocking story: MORE »