Tag Archives: al-jazeera

  Beat the press

Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!

gassy
  Still Life With Al Jazeera and Teargas. Image from video by KSDK As the teargas wafts away from the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, and the some of the members of the media covering the Mike Brown protests start to drift away to cover more pressing stories like the VMAs, let’s take a look back to see who came out ahead in the Battle to Cover Ferguson: the po-po or the journos. Read more on Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!…
  r-e-s-p-e-c-t

Let’s Watch Ferguson P.D. Tear-Gas Al Jazeera, For The American Way Of Life

Listen, fuckers! The Ferguson P.D. was very CLEAR yesterday when they said Ferguson, Missouri, was now a Sundown Town, and you would show it some PROPER RESPECT. Reporters, if you don’t want to do what the po-po say, then try to be Amurricans instead of some musliny middle easterny Al Jazeery types and you will only get arrested, instead of gassed. Read more on Let’s Watch Ferguson P.D. Tear-Gas Al Jazeera, For The American Way Of Life…
  empire building

Soledad To The Muslin Network! Greta Sniffs Around CNN! Has This New York Times Guy Been Fired Yet? Media!

Here at Wonkette, we are really making a play to be your full-service blog. We’ve become your go-to source for swears-laden posts about New Pope, haphazard legal analysis about legal decisions, and deeply ambivalent feelings about Edward Snowden. Now we’ve expanded our world domination plan to include fancypants talking about other media people so we can be insular beltway pundits when we grow up. We’re like the new Mediaite. Call us Meditate or Mediate or Mediatitus or something. Read more on Soledad To The Muslin Network! Greta Sniffs Around CNN! Has This New York Times Guy Been Fired Yet? Media!…
  creeping sharia

A Children’s Treasury Of Reactions As Al Jazeera America’s Sharia Plot Creeps Into Detroit

As everyone who watches Fox News unironically knows, Dearborn, Michigan, is filled with Islamist sleeper cells just waiting to be activated by an Al Jazeera anchor instructing them to play a nice game of Halal solitaire. With the go code delivered, these Muslim terrorists will rise up and strike at America’s Arsenal of Democracy, reducing the city of Detroit into a bombed-out, nearly vacant ghost town of a city. Oh, that won’t happen! shouts the blame America first/excuse terrorism sheeple who just want free stuff from Obama’s Sharia socialist usurper regime even if it means your children will be sent to madrassas. Even if that does happen, the sheeple continue, it won’t happen for a long, long time. Yeah, that’s just what they want you to think. The Jihad is going to happen sooner rather than later, you guys, because Al Jazeera is cold opening a bureau in Detroit! Right by all those sleeper cells in Dearborn! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Reactions As Al Jazeera America’s Sharia Plot Creeps Into Detroit…
  terrorismsism

Fox News Pretty Sure Al Jazeera Is Going To Terrorist Us All

So remember how Al Gore, Green Hitler, up and sold his near-imaginary teevee station to the Qatari government, in the shape of Al Jazeera? And the conservatives, they did not like that all but could not quite put their finger on “why” besides just “Muslims”? Well, they have finally figured it out, and a Megyn Kelly-led panel was there to explain: Al Jazeera is going to come online and flash the Queen of Spades and activate all the terrorist sleeper cells in Detroit and Dearborn, Michigan, because “Fifth Column” and “anti-American,” but really mostly “Muslims.” Read more on Fox News Pretty Sure Al Jazeera Is Going To Terrorist Us All…
  evildoers

Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People

Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, former Republican senator Chuck Hagel, loves terrorism. He wants to marry terrorism, and make little satan-butt-babies with terrorism, and they will name their satan-butt-baby “Joe.” Read more on Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People…
  miz jackson if you're nasty

Here Is Victoria Jackson Not Being Totally Mentally Ill About Als Gore And Jazeera

Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) But Ms. Jackson’s latest tour de force about Al Gore, Cyndi Lauper and Al Jazeera is not insane (beyond her usual shriekings bout SHARIA) so much as it is stupid and maybe drunk and also it makes no sense. Let us have a close read, together, of whatever the fuck she is rambling on about, in her feverdreams! Read more on Here Is Victoria Jackson Not Being Totally Mentally Ill About Als Gore And Jazeera…
  my sharia

Why Wouldn’t Al Gore Sell His Teevee Channel To Awesome Fair Journalists At Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’?

Hey there, self-hating Americans. Are you interested in accessing quality programming like This Decadent, Doomed American Life? Or how about All Things Categorically Denied and Seemingly Random Executions Considered? Well, get pumped, because Al Gore is selling Current TV to sexy Arab news giant Al Jazeera, and he doesn’t care how many of Glenn Beck’s “George Washington kisses me tenderly on the frozen banks of the Potomac and finally tells me he loves me” dreams are crushed in the process. But why wouldn’t he sell his teevee channel to Glenn Beck? Is it because Al Gore is totally the same as Osama Bin Laden? Yes. Read more on Why Wouldn’t Al Gore Sell His Teevee Channel To Awesome Fair Journalists At Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’?…
  just lose your eyes and think of england

Gulf Of Mexico Seafood Much Cuter Now Without All Those Eyes

Remember when hero Congressman Joe Barton apologized to British Petroleum for all the bother the US government was causing it, by forcing it to maybe mitigate some of the hellfire it had sort of rained down upon the Gulf? Those were good times, like when the old man apologized to Dick Cheney, for having been in the way of his gun! Well, now Joe Barton is going to have to apologize to BP AGAIN, because the Gulf of Mexico is all full of shrimp with no eyes now, and somebody (al Jazeera) is going to be mean to them about it! Why won’t Barack NoObAma apologize for al Jazeera’s mean reporting about BP on his American Apologies tour??? Read more on Gulf Of Mexico Seafood Much Cuter Now Without All Those Eyes…
  never forget

Texas High School Catches Al Jazeera Terrorist Asking People About 9/11

Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school district bureaucrats in the Texan town of Booker threw a Brazilian journalist out of a high school football game, because he works for Al Jazeera. And they caught him just before he planted bombs beneath the bleachers asked some people about the 10-year anniversary of 9/11. Read more on Texas High School Catches Al Jazeera Terrorist Asking People About 9/11…
  missed exits

Mubarak Says He Ain’t Leaving, Egyptians Go Double-Nuts

Hey guess who just gave his long-awaited resignation speech and DIDN’T ACTUALLY QUIT? We were just listening to this on BBC World Service in the car and about 90 seconds into the live translation, we said to ourselves, “Uhh, he’s not quitting.” Read more on Mubarak Says He Ain’t Leaving, Egyptians Go Double-Nuts…
  teevee listings

Al Jazeera In America: Channel 375 On DirecTV, 9410 On Dish, 275 On Comcast DC

Link TV is running the English-language Al Jazeera feed on DirecTV 375 and Dish 9419. Comcast DC is one of the very few cable systems in America that carries the actual channel, Al Jazeera English. This has been a public service announcement from your Wonkette courtesy of commenters ttommyunger and bureaucrap. Read more on Al Jazeera In America: Channel 375 On DirecTV, 9410 On Dish, 275 On Comcast DC…
  house of cards

‘Palestine Papers’ Leak Causes Chaos; Whole World Now Leaking Away

Will Al Jazeera be accused of “surprise sex” for its release of thousands of “Palestine Papers” detailing the dirty deals of the Middle East peace process? That’s the question some blogger somewhere is probably writing a long post about, right now, as the world’s governments groan and shudder like a weary whore under the weight of these endless document dumps. What have we learned about the Israel-Palestinian thirty-year back and forth over recognition and return and all that? Eh, everybody’s corrupt and each government does little more than sell out its own people, ha ha, what did you think? Read more on ‘Palestine Papers’ Leak Causes Chaos; Whole World Now Leaking Away…
  fundamentalists united

Rich Lowry and the Taliban Not Buying This Obama Peace Prize Bullshit

Direct from National Review illiterate Rich Lowry’s Urdu Twitter feed, here is the Al Jazeera video montage of a bunch of Raiders of the Lost Ark extras calling for the death of America, the land of the Black Pharaoh. [Al Jazeera YouTube] Read more on Rich Lowry and the Taliban Not Buying This Obama Peace Prize Bullshit…
 

Gossip Roundup: Friends in High Places

* Washington Whispers: Kerry raises $250,000 for three Democratic candidates in 24 hours. . . Washington-based Al Jazeera news channel, which launches late this spring, finds “friends in the administration”. . . Anna Nicole Smith “has done for probate what O.J. did for illegal police search and seizure,” says Chris Lehane, Democratic strategist. [USN&WR] * Inside the Beltway: National Black Republican Association launches a political magazine. [WT] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Friends in High Places…
 

Brokeback Glacier: March of the Gay Penguins Goes On

Al Jazeera has so much to offer besides the latest public service messages from Osama bin Laden. A reader sent along this article, noting that it’s “right up there with the highbrow garbage I love on your site.” Read more on Brokeback Glacier: March of the Gay Penguins Goes On…