Here at Wonkette, we are really making a play to be your full-service blog. We’ve become your go-to source for swears-laden posts about New Pope, haphazard legal analysis about legal decisions, and deeply ambivalent feelings about Edward Snowden. Now we’ve expanded our world domination plan to include fancypants talking about other media people so we […]

As everyone who watches Fox News unironically knows, Dearborn, Michigan, is filled with Islamist sleeper cells just waiting to be activated by an Al Jazeera anchor instructing them to play a nice game of Halal┬ásolitaire. With the go code delivered, these Muslim terrorists will rise up and strike at America’s Arsenal of Democracy, reducing the […]

So remember how Al Gore, Green Hitler, up and sold his near-imaginary teevee station to the Qatari government, in the shape of Al Jazeera? And the conservatives, they did not like that all but could not quite put their finger on “why” besides just “Muslims”? Well, they have finally figured it out, and a Megyn […]

Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for […]

Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) […]

Hey there, self-hating Americans. Are you interested in accessing quality programming like This Decadent, Doomed American Life? Or how about All Things Categorically Denied and Seemingly Random Executions Considered? Well, get pumped, because Al Gore is selling Current TV to sexy Arab news giant Al Jazeera, and he doesn’t care how many of Glenn Beck’s […]

Remember when hero Congressman Joe Barton apologized to British Petroleum for all the bother the US government was causing it, by forcing it to maybe mitigate some of the hellfire it had sort of rained down upon the Gulf? Those were good times, like when the old man apologized to Dick Cheney, for having been […]

Texas is facing a few challenges right now — incredible plagues of drought and fire and horror that could make even a liberal yankee atheist wonder if an Old Testament God had been awakened from its watery grave deep beneath the Gulf of Mexico. But narratives don’t exactly change overnight, which is why some school […]

Hey guess who just gave his long-awaited resignation speech and DIDN’T ACTUALLY QUIT? We were just listening to this on BBC World Service in the car and about 90 seconds into the live translation, we said to ourselves, “Uhh, he’s not quitting.” And it took only a few more minutes for the demonstrators in Liberation […]

Link TV is running the English-language Al Jazeera feed on DirecTV 375 and Dish 9419. Comcast DC is one of the very few cable systems in America that carries the actual channel, Al Jazeera English. This has been a public service announcement from your Wonkette courtesy of commenters ttommyunger and bureaucrap. UPDATE: Wonkette operative “Cody” […]

Will Al Jazeera be accused of “surprise sex” for its release of thousands of “Palestine Papers” detailing the dirty deals of the Middle East peace process? That’s the question some blogger somewhere is probably writing a long post about, right now, as the world’s governments groan and shudder like a weary whore under the weight […]

Direct from National Review illiterate Rich Lowry’s Urdu Twitter feed, here is the Al Jazeera video montage of a bunch of Raiders of the Lost Ark extras calling for the death of America, the land of the Black Pharaoh. [Al Jazeera YouTube]

TOP  11:34 am January 19, 2006

Homeland Security Dazzles Again

by epfeiffer