al gore
Old Handsome Joe Biden Controversially Casts Doubt On True Outcome Of 2000 Election
That wacky Joe Biden has said another crazy thing! At a Washington DC fundraiser for Massachusetts Senate candidate Ed Markey on Wednesday, Vice President Joe Biden acknowledged former Veep Al Gore, also among the speakers, saying, according to a pool report, “This man was elected president of the United States of America…No, no, no. He [...]
Bob Woodward Continues To Be Totally Awesome Guy
Bob Woodward, who did something once we guess, continues to be a super awesome guy and not at all a prissy little asshole bitch.
Here Is Victoria Jackson Not Being Totally Mentally Ill About Als Gore And Jazeera
Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) [...]
Why Wouldn’t Al Gore Sell His Teevee Channel To Awesome Fair Journalists At Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’?
Hey there, self-hating Americans. Are you interested in accessing quality programming like This Decadent, Doomed American Life? Or how about All Things Categorically Denied and Seemingly Random Executions Considered? Well, get pumped, because Al Gore is selling Current TV to sexy Arab news giant Al Jazeera, and he doesn’t care how many of Glenn Beck’s [...]
Someone Please Assure Us That This ‘Steampunk Palin’ Comic Is An Elaborate Prank
Everyone should drop what they’re doing right now and give a million Pulitzers to the Comics Alliance for blowing the lid off of an upcoming “Steampunk Palin” comic book/graphic novel/spank mag. It is (obviously) about a near-future crisis where “Big Oil/Nuke” seizes control of energy production and so everyone has to switch to steam power [...]
Virginia Idiot: ‘Sea Level Rise’ Newest Left-Wing Plot
Al Gore, besides inventing the Internet and lying constantly about that thing he said that was 100 percent correct, is also responsible for other terrible crimes against humanity. Do you know what they are? They are taking facts, like that the sea levels are rising, and making them terrible words only liberals use. Yes, the [...]
What We Learned From The Nice Libertarian Fellows At 1:30 In The Morning In A Detroit Hotel Bar
We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character [...]
Al Gore And Keith Olbermann Now In Battle Of Snaps, Yo Mama Jokes
What is this, unfolding before our delighted eyes? It is a SNAP. First Current TV totes fired Keith Olbermann for (ALLEGEDLY) being a glass-chucking work-shirking screamy freakout monster. Then Olbermann went on Letterman, called himself a “$10 million chandelier” (?) and sued Current and its execs for being “dilettantes” and playing make-believe, which are not [...]
Al Gore Fires Keith Olbermann For Being Terrible
Sanctimonious screeching creep Keith Olbermann, whose ego isn’t the size of Jupiter but certainly is that of Jupiter’s largest moon, has been fired from his 757th job on television, for being horrible. Current TeeVee owner and other relatively liberal person Al Gore was the one who did the firing, in an explosive memo which arrived [...]
Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestant Jose Canseco Accidentally Murders Poor Al Gore
It seems like maybe Jose Canseco is not that smart of a guy. (And no, Magic Johnson is probably not going to hire him at 1B for the new, improved, mostly-McCourt-free Dodgers.) HOWEVER! He is very sweetly (and dumbly) Twitzing away with cool ideas for how to reduce your energy bills and save the world [...]
Al Gore Making Childish Threats About Global Warming, Which Doesn’t Help
Let’s see, climate change is a horrific ongoing disaster and it’s caused by human-made machinery farting out fossil fuel smoke and anusburger cows farting out actual cow farts, and your grandchildren will be Diabetic Sea Monkeys living deep beneath the glowing nuclear sea of the Great Gulf Lake of Mississippi-Canada, if they survive the Eugenics [...]
Everyone Agrees Gore Presidency Would’ve Been About the Same As Bush
American voters now agree that an Al Gore presidency would’ve hardly been different from the disastrous eight-year reign of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See, we really have learned some stuff from Barack Obama! The latest weird Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of random questions proves that 56% of our people say a Gore-Lieberman White [...]
Keith Olbermann To Join Al Gore’s Adult Entertainment Channel?
Keith Olbermann is expected to announce his new teevee home base sometime today, and many teevee experts believe he will join Current TV, the “public affairs channel” that Al Gore invented to help spread liberal Sharia. And now that Keith isn’t oppressed by the MSNBC Corporate Yoke, he can finally tell the news the way [...]
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