Al Gore’s on Capitol Hill today to talk about his science! So is Newt Gingrich, for no apparent reason. But back to Al Gore! Here’s Tennessee meanie Rep. Marsha Blackburn calling Al Gore an evil criminal, just looking for a profit like your average dyed-in-the-wool socialist. (?). Then he tells her, hey Marsha, don’t you even go there, Marsha. And below we have Al Gore taking question from everyone’s favorite hero, Joe Barton. Al tells Joe that sometimes the corporations tell lies. As if Joe doesn’t know. Hey John Warner’s there too! How about that. MORE »

Oh is there something special about today? Not that we could notice, but then here comes a spam from fat dope clown Al Gore and his latest ponzi scheme, “Repower America.” It’s the Earth Day! America’s celebration of the planet it owns, huzzah! Have you done your part? No? So you are some kind of Earth-Hating motherfucker? Turn off the computer and click the MORE button for helpful “Earth Day” hints! MORE »

BECAUSE HE DIDN’T READ IT: Al Gore’s polar-bear movie, The Inconvenient Truth, won a Grammy last night for best audio book. Barack Obama’s Grammy-winning audio book is so much better. [Broadway World]

• GLOBAL WARMING CONSIDERED A PROBLEM: Oh look, Al Gore wrote an AP article about the so-called “climate” under the pseudonym “Seth Borenstein.” Apparently Obama should fix the Earth, but “complicating everything is the worldwide financial meltdown.” The choice of “meltdown” in that sentence was not an accident, you see. [AP]

• Bitters are stocking up on guns before Obama sends all firearms all to Kenya, so his ancestors can more easily sacrifice animals in his honor. [Top of the Ticket]
• OMG Drudge Siren! Bill Ayers attended a lecture given by Jeremiah Wright last night. [Ben Smith]
• Andrew Sullivan is still demanding Sarah Palin’s medical records. Palin, who has literally no reason whatsoever to release her medical records, is stubbornly refusing to comply. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Now you can get your Hope Pornography in hardcover. [Jonathan Martin]
• The Hispanics whom the GOP were unable to successfully deport against their wills are now Democrats, for the most part. [Swampland]
• Al Gore, America’s most thriving national tragedy, probably won’t serve in Obama’s cabinet, but he’s gonna get right in there, just gonna do whatever he can, helpin’ out. [The Plank]

Yes, a McCain advisor said that John McCain “helped create” the motherfucking BlackBerry, which is an insult to John McCain, who lost his ability to type or invent small digital devices that have tiny little keys when he was in Vietnam for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN. MORE »

As you listen to this HORRIFYING thriller soundtrack playing in Invesco Field while Obama walks off, here’s something cool that happened before the Secret Service apprehended us: a proposal, immediately in front. As soon as the would-be groom got on his knee, Al Gore walked on stage, and it almost seemed like the crowd’s eruption was responding to this Hope Couple. Maybe it was. She said yes, and we obnoxiously took a photo.

Your Wonkette has been chopped into three pieces, like a Starfish, and your current editor is just sitting in Level Two against a brick wall, on the concrete. We saw Stevie Wonder sing two songs! And, uh, Sheryl Crow sing like 7,000 songs which all sounded like shopping for lawn furniture on heroin. Al, what do you say? MORE »

Your favorite crazy Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, today: “[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.” Al Gore saved the planet 2,000 years ago, too? Well he obviously didn’t do a very good job then; why should we trust him now? Oh and Michele Bachmann, she’s nuts, just completely gone. [OneNewsNow via TPM Election Central]

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s still legitimate to mock and deride? Why, political cartoons, of course! Join in the hate, after the jump. MORE »

Well, hell. This Sebelius gal won’t be Obama’s veep because she has a long face; Chuck Hagel won’t work because he’s a Republican; and Joe Biden won’t because … oh no wait maybe Joe Biden would work! Yeah, he’s got an okay face for it, and hair plugs, and “foreign” experience. But you know who would RULE? The fat one who made the slide show about climate change. MORE »