It’s almost like they had this campaign-money solicitation prepared even before Norm Coleman conceded!

“ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Norm Coleman conceded to Democrat Al Franken in Minnesota’s contested Senate race on Tuesday, ending a nearly eight-month recount and court fight over an election decided by only a few hundred votes.” [AP]

Nearly a year ago, in a faraway land called “Minnesota Nice,” two Patriotic Jews fought an epic battle, if by “fought” you mean “people who were already going to vote for president also voted for one of these dorks (or the Lizard People) running for U.S. Senate.” One of them, the rich Hollywood liberal from Minneapolis, wasn’t anybody’s idea of a prize, but he beat the other guy, some kind of lamer from St. Paul. And that other guy, Norm Coleman, who always loses every campaign, just would not give up, because if he admitted defeat then Barack Obama would have 60 Democrats in the Senate and, well, let’s just say it will be “Good-bye Christianity and Hello Women’s Studies & the Hip Hop.” Anyway, the state Supreme Court says Franken won, the end. [Star Tribune]

• NOW WE WILL ALL DRIVE TREES! Whoa hey they managed to do it, the Democrats did, passing the Waxman-Markey American Clean Energy and SECURITY Act, 219-212 — eight Republicans voting Yea, 44 Democrats voting Naw. This sure is a “big victory” for Barack Obama! Except that it has to go to the Senate now and requires 60 votes, for being big, meaning 99% of it will be stripped out an hour before voting just to get one of those Maine ladies on board, resulting in just enough funding to give 5-7 Americans surgical masks, for the End Times… Ha ha, the future of Earth could rest on comedian Al Franken’s ability to cast a U.S. Senate vote. [AP]

The 2008 Minnesota Senate race is still going strong, nearly eight months later. What comical new developments can we enjoy together? Oh, how about this, from the Star-Tribune: “A three-judge panel today required Republican Norm Coleman to pay Democrat Al Franken $94,783 to cover court costs …. Coleman will also have to pay interest on the $94,783 until the debt is paid.” And which three judges added further expensive humiliation to Norm’s life of failure? The answer may surprise you! MORE »

Nobody in Minnesota even cares about this dumb recount deal anymore, they would be happy to have as their second senator Jesse Ventura in a tutu and a stocking cap, but Norm Coleman and Al Franken still want “the courts” to decide the election that happened seven months ago: you know, the one that hinges on like fourteen votes because neither candidate was really any more popular than the other. Ugh. MORE »

Possibly former senator Norm Coleman has fought valiantly for nearly half a year to secure a return ticket to Washington, DC, where he sleeps in an airless subterranean closet known as “the gimp chamber.” But he has lost his latest legal effort, and the Democratic National Committee is just rubbing salt in the wound. MORE »

WHAT DO YOU WANT, CLOWN? MORE »

What is this, the famous journal of conservative thought (now begging you to subscribe for HALF OFF!) is calling on Brave Norm Coleman to actually give up fighting this election he lost to an actual teevee clown? In one of the typical remedial-blog-posting bits which make “The Corner” required reading in, we don’t know, maybe child prison camps?, Ramesh Ponnuru dramatically makes the case that Coleman should give up the fight. MORE »

Homosexual cowboy John Cornyn, head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, says that everyone’s favorite November 2008 election between Norm Coleman and Al Franken could take “years” to resolve if he and his friends just want act like assholes. Apparently once Coleman’s challenge is rejected in state courts, there is another level called “federal courts.” So in a few years Coleman could get a hearing date at the Supreme Court only to be beheaded by specially scarlet-robed crank John Paul Stevens. MORE »

The St. Paul Saints made a funny Larry Craig souvenir to hand out at their games last year, and what better to follow it up with this year than a bobblehead showing Al Franken and Norm Coleman joined at the cranium and wearing a Sesame Street costume? (This is the image that Hugh Hewitt masturbates to every night.) Sadly, the Saints have not yet released a photo of this little doll, and you do NOT want to just do random Internet searches on two-faced monsters, so to your right you see a lovely harmless little Roman god with “key and cock,” which are two things Franken and Coleman lack. [Star Tribune]