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Tag: al franken

Silly Al Franken! Only Republicans Are Allowed To Investigate The FBI!

These Democratic attack dogs are really going after the poor oppressed FBI.

FBI STILL Can’t Find Hillary’s Evil Emails. Your Wonkagenda, Monday, November 7, 2016.

James Comey's nothing burgers, Trump's lost his cellphone, and a D.C. pizza bar has secret Satanic sex door. Your Morning News Brief!
If only Democrats loved America. Sad!

Donald Trump Wishes Democrats Would Maybe Use Some Patriotic Imagery, The Commies

Predictably, Donald Trump insists Democrats don't love the flag enough. It's a star spangled lie, but he'll get mileage out of it.

Wonkagenda, Tuesday 07/26/2016

Good Taco Tuesday to you, Wonkers! Here's some quick newz to digest!

DNC Night One: Let’s All Just Scream At Each Other Forever! A Livebloog Experience

Hooray, it's time for the great big Democratic Unity Lovefest, isn't it? Everybody's been pretty well-behaved so far, we hear, with only a couple of completely embarrassing outbreaks of rude screaming by Toddlers For Bernie. We bet that nonsense...

Ted Cruz Sweeps Colorado With Help Of Fellow Nutjobs

Over the weekend, we remained only vaguely aware of the fact that Colorado held some sort of complicated presidential nominating activity over on the GOP side. In a year marked by maximum primary season insanity, Colorado was actually a...
O'Reilly, you magnificent bastard, we'll never read your book

Everyone Who Knew Bill O’Reilly In 1982 Is A Vicious Lying Pinhead

You guys, this is really serious: It appears that virtually everyone from CBS who worked with Bill O'Reilly when he was bravely reporting on the Falklands War in 1982 is a vicious smear artist who just wants Billo to...

Rudy Giuliani Isn’t Racist, Just Can’t Stand That White Guy Who’s President

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani clarified his recent comments about Barack Obama yesterday, explaining that when he said that Barack Obama "doesn't love America," he was "not questioning his patriotism." That's actually true: Giuliani wasn't questioning Obama's...
It's a great day for commies and mommies!

Now You Don’t Even Have To Go Broke Or Quit Your Job When You’re Sick, Thanks Obama

Here's some good news: For the first time in years, fewer Americans are going broke due to medical bills, and it's mostly because of Obamacare. On top of that, President Obama is pushing a proposal to require seven paid...

Elizabeth Warren Is Our 2014 Legislative Badass Of The Year, Obviously Duh

How much do we heart the senator and perfessor of Massachusetts, the greatest and bestest Elizabeth Warren who ever Elizabeth Warrened? Pretty much all. Sure, there are a few -- a very few -- non-Elizabeth Warrens in the Senate...
Then WHO WAS PHONE?

Ted Cruz Finds Exciting New Ways To Be Wrong About Net Neutrality

As we have established pretty clearly, Ted Cruz doesn't know a damned thing about Net Neutrality, and he is also quite proud of his ignorance. So proud that he even wrote a whole column full of stupid, in which...
Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt

Gordon Klingenschmitt To Slay All The (Literal) Demons In The Colorado House

Yr Wonkette would just like to know: is there somewhere we can subscribe to a 24/7 video stream of the Colorado House of Representatives when it starts its next session? Because one of our favorite crazies, disgraced former Navy...
Elizabeth Warren for everything

Elizabeth Warren Is Being A Badass Again, Because It Is A Day

We sure do love us some Sen. Elizabeth Warren because ALL the reasons. She is always yelling at the too-big-to-fail banks and the sleazy credit card industry and the sleazier Republican Industrial Complex and the greedy bastards who think...
Yes, asshole, it was something you did

Defending Baby-beater Adrian Peterson Costs Money So Never Mind About Due Process

It's sarcasm-funny how only two days ago, the Minnesota Vikings announced that while "we take very seriously any matter that involves the welfare of a child," there was no reason running back Adrian Peterson shouldn't be allowed to kick...

John Oliver Laugh Fest Continues With Jolly Look At America’s Love For Prison

John Oliver's Last Week Tonight keeps pushing the boundaries of what we expect in a fake comedy news show, tackling such not-immediately-hilarious topics as net neutrality, Uganda's anti-gay laws, and income inequality and producing segments that are both genuinely...

Al Franken Opponent Knows What Is Funny: Ow, My Balls!

Apparently some poor schmuck is running against Al Franken to represent the great state of Minnesota in the United States Senate. And that guy -- Mike McFadden we guess? -- is taking it to Franken's side of the court...