airplanes
Oh, don’t we just love to pick on hairless dingus Rick Scott, because he is officially America’s most disliked governor, his constituents are constantly suing him for passing laws no one likes, he’s kind of “eh” about keeping track of his filings to the Ethics Commission, and he’s using state money to sexually harass Florida [...]
The conservative Internet has uncovered UNMISTAKABLE EVIDENCE that The Muslims of America are planning to set aside their Sharia checklist for a moment to avenge the death of Osama bin Laden. On Sunday, some guy from Vallejo, California on a flight from Chicago to San Francisco went nuts, screaming and pounding on the cockpit door, [...]
76-year-old Republican Sen. James Inhofe of Oklahoma landed his Cessna plane on a closed runway at Cameron County Airport in Texas last October despite people telling the crazy old man in the hurtling death machine he was not allowed to land there. According to FAA documents, Inhofe “‘sky hopped’ over the six vehicles and personnel [...]
Since the dawn of American civilization, man has directed his laser pointer at airplane cockpits in order to blind the pilots and make the thing crash to the ground, for teh lulz. Unfortunately, the Senate yesterday passed a bill making this sort of thing illegal, by a vote of 96-1. Any guesses as to the [...]
Homes in Snyder, New York are now covered in a “goo” of feces and urine, just like in that Oscar-winning 1997 Robin Williams film noir, Flubber, except it is being eaten off the ground and sides of houses by dogs and small children. “Most of the houses along Washington Highway and Berryman Drive have taken [...]
Millions of Americans went to airports last week for Thanksgiving travel and to stare down the gossipy new machines that show people pictures of travelers’ naked bodies. This was supposed to be an ACTUAL reenactment of the Boston Tea Party, as hurried Thanksgiving airport visitors were supposed to take these scanners and throw them into [...]
Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.
An annoying child on a Southwest Airlines flight from Burbank to Phoenix was rummaging around in a seat pocket and knocked a loaded gun magazine onto the floor. Hooray! Thank God we have those kajillion-dollar voyeur tubes to save us from weapons appearing on our airplanes! Flight attendants were given the clip, and when the [...]
Hey, here’s the early winner of America’s “Who Can Be the Most Obnoxious To TSA” contest, a guy calling himself “Johnny Edge.” Cool name! Very libertarian! Very comic book! This guy went into San Diego’s airport with the sole purpose of antagonizing the TSA security guys and catching them on his iPhone’s video thing, and [...]
MEET THE STUPIDEST ASSHOLE IN EARTH’S HISTORY: “A federal official said that the passenger went to the bathroom to smoke a cigarette, and was confronted by air marshals on board the plane. He understood he had diplomatic immunity, and made sarcastic comments that they took as a threat, said the official, who spoke on condition [...]
