Wonkette

The great George W. Bush delivered the commencement address at Colorado’s Air Force Academy today, the same day that his former hobbit slave was publicizing mean books about him. Here he is this morning “chest-bumping” a graduate, who has probably already died in Iraq. [AP Photo]

History will remember the 2008 Dennis Kucinich campaign for two things: his hot-ass wife Elizabeth, and bringing UFOs back into the political dialogue. Kucinich’s discussion of his UFO encounter during the last Democratic debate sparked a resurgence of very important questions about how our government is handling the “alien situation.” No, not Mexicans — like LEGIT aliens in flying saucers and shit. Last week, former Arizona Gov. Fife “The Fife” Symington wrote about his alien encounter after years of denying it. On Monday, The Fife was a key member of a UFO panel featuring experts with Air Force, NASA, FAA, Et Cetera and So Forth experience. MORE »

“Bluntly, the mistake of loading nuclear weapons on a combat aircraft in combat-ready position is simply not possible to make. Safeguards are far too stringent and far too many people would be involved. Particularly given that the mounting was in violation of policy that’s been in place without exception for almost 40 years.” [Above Top Secret]

Good news, America: With the Pentagon’s sale of thousands of fighter-jet parts that only be used by Iran’s Air Force, there is still hope of a Gulf of Tonkin-style incident to finally start the War Against New Worst Enemy Iran! MORE »

As if further proof was needed that the military was taking most of its strategic cues from shitty ’80s comedies and possibly Electric Six songs, Air Force records recently uncovered by Berkeley’s Sunshine Project reveal the existence of a project dedicated to developing a weapon that will turn our enemies gay, and irresistible. MORE »

Here’s your last October Surprise: The Air Force is demanding an emergency cash infusion of $50 Billion — half its annual budget — just to bring home the U.S. bodies.

Another source familiar with the Air Force plans said the extra funds would help pay to transport growing numbers of U.S. soldiers being killed and wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan.

What the hell? And this is after begging an extra $18 Billion three months ago. We know the military pays quadruple for everything, but if 1,000 troops are killed in Iraq every year, then the Air Force is spending … $50 million per body? Maybe that’s the price to make sure they don’t get “stuck in Iraq” for the afterlife, too.

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The piece is not actually worth clicking on. Seriously, it’s like a piece on minigolf on aircraft carriers headlined “Navy Glory Holes.” MORE »

• White House is willing to open the Strategic Petroleum Reserve if needed in aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. [WSJ, WP]
• Bush, in attempt to change topic from Iraq, again calls for overhaul of Social Security and says “there is more we can do” about border security. Bush on Social Security: “I’m going to keep working this issue.”[NYT, WP, USAT]
• Roberts argued for a permanent ban of racial quotas in the workplace and against school busing designed to integrate students. [WP]
• Roberts advised the Reagan administration not to expand policing powers to government agencies such as the Interior and Agriculture Departments; called “a classic conservative articulation of the individual’s right to be protected from state power.” [NYT]
• Leahy gives heads-up to Roberts: expect questions about the “Bybee memo” that defines the legality of torture. [NYT, LAT]
• White House official says Republicans have lost their advantage on education; No Child Left Behind is increasingly unpopular among both parties. [WSJ, LAT]

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