air force
Army 2, Air Force 1: A Thrilling Contest To See Who Can Be The Absolute Worst About Sexual Assault
Remember November, when there were like one million gun tragedies in a row and we kept writing about them until we had horrible gun tragedy fatigue and said fuck it, because there’s only so many times you can write about dead kids before your soul hurts? That was…what is the opposite of fun? But hey! [...]
With ‘Rot’ In Missile Crews And All The Rapiness, Air Force Faces Severe Purity Of Essence Gap
Wonkers of the Cold War era (which is like all but seven of you, right?) may remember the somber documentaries about the grim job of manning missile silos, with the narrator intoning that the 2-man crews had standing orders to shoot their partner if he went insane. (This may not actually be true, but we [...]
Head Of Air Force Sexual Assault Unit Loves To ALLEGEDLY Sexually Assault Strange Women In Parking Lots
Oh, Air Force. Oh, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, chief of the Air Force’s sexual assault prevention and response branch. You have been arrested for (ALLEGEDLY) getting drunk and grabbing the tits and ass of a woman you did not even know in a parking lot. And yet it is in fact your job to prevent [...]
Wisconsin Assembly Votes To End Collective Bargaining
After three straight days of debate, the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Assembly passed Scott Walker’s erotic union-busting fantasy earlier this morning, “before sleep-deprived Democrats realized what was happening.” The bill now heads to the Senate, where it will probably stay for quite some time, since Senate Democrats are still eloping in Illinois. Anyway, here is what happened, [...]
U.S. Air Force Blocks News Websites That Published WikiLeaks
The branch of the U.S. military responsible for flying some (but certainly not all!) planes has come up with the greatest idea ever to stop Wikileaks and the 10 billion news websites that have posted stuff from the Wikileaks: Just ban all those websites! This is a one-billion-percent foolproof plan, and now any Air Force [...]
US Launches Secret Robot Space Shuttle
A robotic space plane launched from Cape Canaveral at 7:52 p.m. tonight, and god knows what that even means. The X-37b is a small unmanned orbiter that can stay in space for up nine months at a time and glides down to a runway landing like some eerie 2010 version of, say, a 1970s space [...]
Texas + Military Guy + Shotgun = America 2010
Today’s “U.S. military guy attacks U.S. military base in U.S.A.” story comes from Texas, as usual. Some airman was apprehended just before he shot up a residence building at Sheppard Air Force Base just outside of Wichita Falls. Nothing noteworthy about that, but today’s chapter of Enlisted Men Vs. America features the comical dueling news [...]
This Is An Official Air Force Commercial
This is a few months old, but we just saw it for the first time, so huzzah: the Air Force wants you to join its Star Fleet to fight the blue Ewoks from Avatar, in Afghanistan “Space Version.” [io9]
Obama Has A Laugh With Aviatrixes
Yesterday while the rest of you were out shopping for booze or maybe just emptying out the still in anticipation of today’s 12th annual National Unemployment Day, President Obama was hard at work hanging out with a bunch of pilots — some pretty awesome lady pilots from World War II, and also the first female [...]
Scott McClellan Can’t Ruin George Bush Junior’s Day
The great George W. Bush delivered the commencement address at Colorado’s Air Force Academy today, the same day that his former hobbit slave was publicizing mean books about him. Here he is this morning “chest-bumping” a graduate, who has probably already died in Iraq. [AP Photo]
Government Types Hold Alien Panel, Pull 9/11 Card
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