Tag: aig

And that's when Noah's stupid gay peace dove got eated by a dinosaur.

Kentucky Gets To Pay Creationists To Dress Up Like Noah’s Ark Bible Dinosaurs, Yippee!

Exciting news, if you're a creationist! If you'll remember, a very weird creationist man named Ken Ham, who literally believes the earth is about five minutes old and all the dinosaurs died like eight seconds ago, is building a...

AIG CEO Upset At Being ‘Lynched’ By Taxpayers, With Words

You know what’s hard? Being yelled at for being rich and kinda douchey. Sometimes, wittle fee-fees get boo-boos on them, ginormous egos might get an owwie, and the only thing to cushion the blow is millions of dollars to...

The AIG Bailout Was All A Dirty Trick To Spread Sharia

Now here's one we hadn't heard before, which hardly means it's never been said: The AIG bailout was a means of conning the American taxpayer into supporting Sharia! Go ahead and laugh, this was only said by some random...

Bombing Iran, Politicizing Turkey

New polling shows fully half of the nation would support an attack on Iran should the latest sanctions fail. Considering that the consensus at last night's debate was that sanctions had already failed, we're all basically living...

Mike Castle Won’t Run as a Write-In, Christine O’Donnell Still Won’t Win

Mike Castle won't run as a write-in candidate for President! (But you already knew this. However, Mike just announced he would not seek the office of "U.S. Senator, from Delaware.") This is good news for Oxford Sex Demon Christine...

BP Polluters To Pollute Prison, Possibly

Obviously -- obviously -- every single effort BP makes to try to stop the entire contents of the earth from barfing up into the Gulf of Mexico will fail, and miserably. This is making the Obama administration look...

Former AIG Head Maurice R. Greenberg Is Up To His Old Tricks—Because He Is 84 Years Old, See?

Maurice R. Greenberg, the impossibly geriatric former head of AIG, has been quietly luring young, unsuspecting insurance execs to his new firm. Harry Reid promised out loud that the new health care bill will have a public option, which...

New AIG CEO Is, Naturally, A Lazy Douche

America's greatest company, AIG, has a new CEO! How should he introduce himself to the American public, which has like an 80 percent stake in his company, but doesn't really "own" it? As an industrious servant of the common...

Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot

Is that insanely cheap for commercial real estate? Seems like! Anyhow, the haunted million-square-foot carcass of the former AIG headquarters at 70 Pine and 72 Wall Street in beautiful New York City appears to have found a buyer for...

Everybody Knew About The AIG Bonus Problem But Nobody Cared To Fix It

Hey remember just like a couple months ago when everybody was so angry over the AIG bonuses? Get ready to be outraged all over again because duh, of course a whole bunch of people knew these bonuses were going...

WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO IS WRITE ANOTHER NYT OP-ED DESCRIBING THE INS-AND-OUTS OF RESOLVING A COMMODITY BUSINESS: Jake DeSantis, the AIG executive who recently penned a very nuanced take in the New York Times about why he deserves...

‘AGLA’ Company Is Secretly AIG

Wonkette drive-by operative "Gerogia" from Tessennee sends this photo and writes: "AIG was founded in Nashville. I live near the HQ in Nashville. A few days after the bonus debacle they blacked out the AIG logo. On my way...

TARP-related Treasury Documents Offer New Reasons For Americans To Distrust All Authority

Whoa, weird, Fox Business News has a delightful scoop today! They won a suit against the Treasury to release 10,000 pages in TARP-related government records, and for the good of mankind have already found a couple of funny anecdotes...

Sure, Let’s Have Prince Sing About AIG

Here is your Minneapolis man Prince, on the Jay Leno (!) show, just cold singing about AIG and income inequality and hard times and such, with an honest "but me" when he mentions the old neighborhood. Good or bad?...

CNN’s Ed Henry Writes Worst Article In American History

Earlier today we mentioned CNN White House correspondent Ed Henry's performance at the press conference last night, and how he and his fellow busybodies were rapidly spinning and spinning and spinning to make it appear as though he didn't...

Bankers Worked Hard For Their Money, You Know

Well this is sort of neat! An actual AIG-FP executive wrote an op-ed in the Times explaining why he is not the most evil biological form on the planet short of the Ebola virus, and he makes some good...