Tag Archives: aig

  bailout cry-babies

AIG CEO Upset At Being ‘Lynched’ By Taxpayers, With Words

You know what’s hard? Being yelled at for being rich and kinda douchey. Sometimes, wittle fee-fees get boo-boos on them, ginormous egos might get an owwie, and the only thing to cushion the blow is millions of dollars to soak up the tears. For Robert Benmosche, the CEO who took over AIG in 2008 after it helped crash the global economy and then got bailed out by taxpayers, the pain caused by public outrage over HUGE bonuses was more than just hurt feelings. There is only one historical analogy that is appropriate, per WaPo: The uproar over bonuses “was intended to stir public anger, to get everybody out there with their pitchforks and their hangman nooses, and all that — sort of like what we did in the Deep South [decades ago]. And I think it was just as bad and just as wrong.” Yes, we all remember how the KKK gave millions of dollars to all the black folks and then yelled at them for being so incredibly rich. It was a dark, shameful time in American history. Read more on AIG CEO Upset At Being ‘Lynched’ By Taxpayers, With Words…
  'true story'

The AIG Bailout Was All A Dirty Trick To Spread Sharia

Now here’s one we hadn’t heard before, which hardly means it’s never been said: The AIG bailout was a means of conning the American taxpayer into supporting Sharia! Go ahead and laugh, this was only said by some random nutball — namely Jerry Boykin, a former high-ranking military and Defense Department intelligence division official. Read more on The AIG Bailout Was All A Dirty Trick To Spread Sharia…
  gifzette daily briefing

Bombing Iran, Politicizing Turkey

New polling shows fully half of the nation would support an attack on Iran should the latest sanctions fail. Considering that the consensus at last night’s debate was that sanctions had already failed, we’re all basically living 2002 all over again. Read more on Bombing Iran, Politicizing Turkey…
  it's morning in america

Mike Castle Won’t Run as a Write-In, Christine O’Donnell Still Won’t Win

Mike Castle won’t run as a write-in candidate for President! (But you already knew this. However, Mike just announced he would not seek the office of “U.S. Senator, from Delaware.”) This is good news for Oxford Sex Demon Christine O’Donnell, since now that Mike Castle won’t split the “sane vote” she is guaranteed to lose. Because does Christine O’Donnell even want to be a U.S. Senator? We think not. She wants to be a FOX News “analist” or whatever. Or maybe she will endorse her favorite brand of masturbation cream, for some money and a lifetime supply of masturbation cream? Christine wants to live the dream, and you can’t do that if you’re a U.S. Senator. So you jerks can judge her all day long, but we shall see who’s laughing in a year, when you are jobless and hungry and Christine O’Donnell is pregnant with Newt Gingrich’s 1,000th illegitimate child. (Jesus will be laughing, at all of us.) [The Caucus] Read more on Mike Castle Won’t Run as a Write-In, Christine O’Donnell Still Won’t Win… Read more on Mike Castle Won’t Run as a Write-In, Christine O’Donnell Still Won’t Win…
  it's morning in america

BP Polluters To Pollute Prison, Possibly

Obviously — obviously — every single effort BP makes to try to stop the entire contents of the earth from barfing up into the Gulf of Mexico will fail, and miserably. This is making the Obama administration look bad, as they are supposed to be “in charge” but it’s not really their fault (except in the total-failure-of-regulation and lapses-in-containment senses) and they can’t just brush aside BP and do things themselves because, uh, capitalism? Anyway, eventually once you piss off the Obama administration, they set their “heavy,” Eric Holder, onto you, and then YOUR SHIT GETS FUCKED UP. Read more on BP Polluters To Pollute Prison, Possibly… Read more on BP Polluters To Pollute Prison, Possibly…
  daily briefing

Former AIG Head Maurice R. Greenberg Is Up To His Old Tricks—Because He Is 84 Years Old, See?

Maurice R. Greenberg, the impossibly geriatric former head of AIG, has been quietly luring young, unsuspecting insurance execs to his new firm. [New York Times] Harry Reid promised out loud that the new health care bill will have a public option, which means it actually might! [Washington Post] Read more on Former AIG Head Maurice R. Greenberg Is Up To His Old Tricks—Because He Is 84 Years Old, See?…
  our flourishing financial services industry

New AIG CEO Is, Naturally, A Lazy Douche

America’s greatest company, AIG, has a new CEO! How should he introduce himself to the American public, which has like an 80 percent stake in his company, but doesn’t really “own” it? As an industrious servant of the common man, of course! And that he does, in his big “debut” interview, with Reuters: “DUBROVNIK, Croatia (Reuters)—Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt, the new chief executive of bailed-out insurer American International Group (AIG) says he’s getting a lot of work done from his massive villa overlooking the Adriatic. ‘People criticize me for being on vacation. I actually started work a week before I was actually supposed to,’ Robert Benmosche told Reuters in an interview.” Good lord. Things must be just stable enough now that these robberbarons don’t have to give a shit anymore about presenting themselves through shiny, remorseful PR channels. [Reuters] Read more on New AIG CEO Is, Naturally, A Lazy Douche…
  meet the new wonkette world headquarters

Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot

Is that insanely cheap for commercial real estate? Seems like! Anyhow, the haunted million-square-foot carcass of the former AIG headquarters at 70 Pine and 72 Wall Street in beautiful New York City appears to have found a buyer for the bargain-basement price of $100 million. Who’s the lucky winner, Donald Trump? The Cato Institute? The buyers “would have been carefully vetted,” a source told the New York Post, from which we can conclude it’s just Tom Daschle wasting the last of his lunch money. [New York Post] Read more on Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot…
  losers always win

Everybody Knew About The AIG Bonus Problem But Nobody Cared To Fix It

Hey remember just like a couple months ago when everybody was so angry over the AIG bonuses? Get ready to be outraged all over again because duh, of course a whole bunch of people knew these bonuses were going to be awarded and they did nothing to stop it because they were too busy saving the whole financial system from ruin. Bad PR move! Read more on Everybody Knew About The AIG Bonus Problem But Nobody Cared To Fix It…
  where they are now

WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO IS WRITE ANOTHER NYT OP-ED DESCRIBING THE INS-AND-OUTS OF RESOLVING A COMMODITY BUSINESS: Jake DeSantis, the AIG executive who recently penned a very nuanced take in the New York Times about why he deserves a publicly funded $750,000 bonus that otherwise would’ve been laughed out of bankruptcy court, is still working at that damn company, even though his NYT column was supposedly a resignation letter. Anyone have a ballpark figure on how long it takes to “resolve a commodity business?” [Daily Intel] Read more on …
  burn all acronyms

‘AGLA’ Company Is Secretly AIG

Wonkette drive-by operative “Gerogia” from Tessennee sends this photo and writes: “AIG was founded in Nashville. I live near the HQ in Nashville. A few days after the bonus debacle they blacked out the AIG logo. On my way to the gym last week I was startled by this new sign. I guess they renamed themselves and the marketing wizards are billing us (TAXPAYERS) for new signage, letterhead, business cards ect … Seriously this is what they are busy doing with our money …” SOMETHING LIKE THAT. They replaced the AIG logo with that of one of its non-corrupt subsidiaries. Meh, same difference to us. So now you’ll want to throw your Molotov cocktails at and poop on all AGLA signs, fyi. Read more on ‘AGLA’ Company Is Secretly AIG…
  chumps

TARP-related Treasury Documents Offer New Reasons For Americans To Distrust All Authority

Whoa, weird, Fox Business News has a delightful scoop today! They won a suit against the Treasury to release 10,000 pages in TARP-related government records, and for the good of mankind have already found a couple of funny anecdotes revealing cartoonish confusion and conflict. We’re starting to understand the mechanics of how AIG rips off the federal government so easily: the old racist means of pitting the bureaucrats against each other until they’ve all been killed off. Read more on TARP-related Treasury Documents Offer New Reasons For Americans To Distrust All Authority…
  folksingers

Sure, Let’s Have Prince Sing About AIG

Here is your Minneapolis man Prince, on the Jay Leno (!) show, just cold singing about AIG and income inequality and hard times and such, with an honest “but me” when he mentions the old neighborhood. Good or bad? We are not sure! Not bad, though. Dylan and his three gospel singers, pretty much, 1979, + Stevie Wonder harmonica, Joe Strummer guitar toss, ice cold. Uhm. OPEN THREAD. [via Tony Pierce] Read more on Sure, Let’s Have Prince Sing About AIG…
  embarrassments

CNN’s Ed Henry Writes Worst Article In American History

Earlier today we mentioned CNN White House correspondent Ed Henry’s performance at the press conference last night, and how he and his fellow busybodies were rapidly spinning and spinning and spinning to make it appear as though he didn’t look like a goober when Obama called him a twat. In the latest effort, Henry has written an exclusive article for CNN.com called, “What really happened with Obama.” It is approximately 5,000 words and includes sports metaphors, heavy doses of edge-of-your-seat drama, tricks o’ the trade, and maybe a little bit of SELF-SATISFACTION. To reiterate our headline, it is the worst article in American history, at least since yesterday when K-Lo wrote something funny about Notre Dame and abortions. Read more on CNN’s Ed Henry Writes Worst Article In American History…
  self-defense editorials

Bankers Worked Hard For Their Money, You Know

Well this is sort of neat! An actual AIG-FP executive wrote an op-ed in the Times explaining why he is not the most evil biological form on the planet short of the Ebola virus, and he makes some good points, such as: not everybody in the AIG-FP unit fucked up the world. It was only the credit default swap people. Read more on Bankers Worked Hard For Their Money, You Know…
  this guy again

Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama’s Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)

This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don’t know FOR SURE about this, as we arrived in the USSR about two weeks after it officially ended — this is true! — and by then it was all tits & death metal on the RUBIN black-and-white set. Anyway, is the recession over yet? Has Komrade Obama talked it away, while his douche-bots in the East Room try to act like they understand anything beyond do-nuts and Twitter? Read more on Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama’s Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)…