The big WaPo story today revealed the “first statistics ever amassed on HIV in the District,” and the results thank God are pretty benign. Just a “modern epidemic,” that’s all. Congratulations to the District of Columbia for figuring this out now, instead of like maybe several years ago. MORE »

You know, Mike Huckabee’s not all that bad. Guy likes improving public health, cancer research, being fiscally… good…. Whatever. He’s just adorable sometimes, is the point. But about once a week he throws out a dark, bitter or stupid line — probably all psychological relics from his repressed history as a fattie. Last week, for example, he made a joke on MSNBC about how Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani et al. should slit their wrists because of inflated P/E ratios or something. Now, as HuffPo’s “Off the Bus” blogger Mike Caulfield reports, Huckabee has asked a group in New Hampshire (video above) why we encourage people to have safe sex rather than stay abstinent, especially when there’s an AIDS out there! MORE »

* Last Saturday, Thievery Corporation played a surprise 40th birthday party at some couple’s house in Virginia. The Upstate Life was the bartender, posts funny pictures. [The Upstate Life]
* This Thursday, 150 DC restaurants will donate between 25% and 100% of profits to a charity providing “home-delivered meals and groceries to local residents living with HIV/AIDS, cancer, and other illnesses.” [DCFUD]
* Blogger interviews COO of Bookswim, “Netflix for books.” [Ross Notes]
* “I’ve held off on being pleasured for so long, I’m probably as tight as a drum …. well, maybe not a drum (hardly) but you get my drift.” [Sugar N Spice]
* “Perhaps it’s fate that today is Marion Barry’s birthday, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom … Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution … but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, Marion Barry’s birthday will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: ‘We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!’ We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate Marion Barry’s birthday!” [The DC Universe]

In an obvious attempt to steal Meth Day’s thunder, today is World AIDS Day. Yay for AIDS! The recent problems with condom procurement and usage we’ve reported make it all too clear that DC needs a lot more of these “Condom Safe Sites” so LNS kids aren’t wasting time looking for a CVS when they could be having terrible sex and then vomiting on each other. MORE »

Grammy-winning Senator Barack Hussein Obama held a summit with popular Oprah-hating rapper Ludacris to discuss the AIDS crisis and new, experimental “Release Therapy.” MORE »

* World renowned klezmer superstars The Klezmatics perform Woody Guthrie songs at the Synagogue at 6th & I. $30 at 8PM. [Sixith and I]
* 1958’s Mother (Die Mutter) at AFI. Directed by Manfred Wekwerth and Harry Bremer from a Bertolt Brecht play, “This adaptation of Maxim Gorky’s 1931 novel tells the moving story of an oppressed Russian woman (a landmark performance by Helene Weigel) who is transformed into a militant revolutionary.” $9.50 at 6:30PM. [AFI]
* Tomorrow is world AIDS day, so tonight Bar Rouge is hosting a Red Hot & Rouge Cocktail Affair to benefit the Whitman-Walker clinic. Drink specials (The Red Ribbon-Tini and Grand Melon Poinsetta), free appetizers and a silent auction. Free to get in at 6:30PM. [WP]

* Dead body found yesterday at 201 I Street, SW. [tls]
* Remember that Sesame Street short about how crayons are made? Watch it again, like it’s the first time. [Read Express]
* George Michael quitting Channel 4 Sports Anchor post and “Sports Machine.” Lindsay Czarniak has enought stalkers as it is. [The DC Universe]
* “Best Week Ever” on Perez Hilton: “He’s like Joseph McCarthy, but for gays.” [Worth Repeating]
* Speaking of Perez Hilton, HIPS and Palace of Wonders host “The Most Eclectic and Unique Show in DC.” Suggested $10-15 donation helps educate DC’s sex workers on the effect “HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, discrimination, poverty, violence and drug use have on the lives of individuals.” [Fight HIV in DC]

* Does this include HIV tests? [Tariq Nelson]
* 90 days to drink at Vegetate. [DCist]
* “I like video games as much as the next guy, but unless they’re giving away free cocaine and hookers with the PS3, there’s no way in hell I would ever camp out for a week to get one.” [The DC Universe]
* Montgomery Blair High School handed out religious anti-gay flier to all students during homeroom, this blogger strangely unhappy. [The Republic of T]
* Food Network’s “The Hungry Detective” visited Ben’s Chili Bowl, Capitol Q Barbecue, Cantina Marina, Julia’s Empanadas, Colorado Kitchen and Hank’s Oyster Bar. [Golden Silence]

• “…can we please make it a rule that members of Congress understand what the word ‘ironic’ means, as opposed to the fucking Alanis Morissette definition of the word?” [The DC Universe]

• The Argonaut raised more than 9,000 dollars for bartender Quike. [Frozen Tropics]
• Video of someone named Clinton Fein interviewing the late Gerry Studds in 1994. [Gayest Editor Ever]
• A new treo is coming, minus the “plastic clitoris.” [TOTAL INFORMATION AWARENESS]
• New program, SERVE, trains volunteers to work with DC’s HIV/AIDS organizations. They can also tell you which organizations would benefit most from your talents. [FIGHT HIV IN DC]

Here’s Washington DC’s Make Believe Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton getting tested for AIDS yesterday. A “mobile health bus” has parked itself behind Rayburn and is inviting all members to go in and get tested themselves. We’re pretty sure Congress already has a nurse’s office, by the way. It’s where Denny Hastert goes for his lie-downs when he gets winded from standing up too fast.

• White House compromises with McCain’s crew on terror suspect interrogation techniques. Geneva Convention “remains intact,” but CIA will still be knocking skulls, so “we’re all winners.” [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT, W$J]

• CDC now advocating routine testing for HIV among all patients aged 13 to 64. [WP, NYT]
• Wal-Mart will begin offering many generic drugs for $4. [WP, LAT, USAT]
• Republican offensive enters new phase with the old standby, “Democrats want to tax you into the poorhouse.” [NYT]
• Army to make larger use of National Guard to get more boots on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan, “The biggest challenge is manpower.” [NYT]