• Democrats and Republicans continue to compete over who can cater more to Big Senior re: possible Medicare cuts. [AP]
• Obama spent all day yesterday begging the U.N. to agree to a resolution that would get Iran and North Korea and others like them in such big trouble if they crossed their fingers behind their backs while signing the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. [Wall Street Journal]
• You really have to give the Taliban credit for taking advantage of their semester abroad in Pakistan, huh! They are now heading into to Afghanistan stronger, savvier and fightier than ever. [New York Times]
• Ahmadinejad is apparently not yet bored of his old tricks, namely, calling Israel and the U.S. racist, accusing everyone he’s ever met of genocide, and throwing in some noncommittal “Iran is pretty great, actually!”s for good measure. [New York Times]
• India will be doing a bit of role-playing this week, as it does its part to pretend to care about doing something that will curb carbon emissions. Going clockwise, soo… China: you’re next. [Washington Post]
• American women, GETTING HYSTERICAL and whining about affording to feed and educate their children, might not be into having so many anymore! [Reuters]

• The teevee shows Mad Men and 30 Rock LITERALLY WON the Emmy Awards last night. [New York Times]
• President Obama will visit the UN for the first time next week, as will, presumably, some very excited sixth graders from North Jersey. Both will be avoiding Ahmadinejad and Gaddafi. [Times Online]
• The jealous gossips of the SEC might make Bank of America and Merrill Lynch spill all the details about their initial tryst, even though normally this sort of thing is protected under attorney-client privilege and none of anyone else’s business anyway. [New York Times]
• The fellows from Brooklyn who perhaps intended to blow it up are in even bigger trouble now that police unearthed handwritten bombing cheat sheets. [WSJ]
• All the count-y countries are gearing up for the G20, which is being held in Pittsburgh, meaning Obama will have to convince the world’s leaders to follow his economic agenda after he has just forced them to come to Pittsburgh. [Reuters]
• David Paterson is committed to losing the race for governorship of New York despite Obama warning him that as eager as Paterson might be to suffer this public embarrassment, it will be bad for other people (like: the Democrats) too. [CNN]

• Happy New Year (or “Rosh Hashanah”) to all Wonkette’s Jewish friends! Traditionally one rings in the new year by dipping apples in honey and telling one’s parents that of course, one is absolutely going to synagogue tonight. [Washington Post]
• An alternative way to celebrate: President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced earlier today that the Holocaust was a myth. Ok! [New York Times]
• And speaking of Iran, Obama is going back on all Reagan’s Cold War/Star Wars missile defense plans in favor of sending a signal to Israel and the Arabs that the US is well aware of what a bad scene Iran is. [New York Times]
• Max Baucus will do exactly whatever his new friend Olympia Snowe would like him to do to his health care bill, so long as it does not alienate his old group of friends, the Democrats, in the process. [Wall Street Journal]
• Apparently nostalgic for a time when people cared about this, the House and the Senate easily passed some crucial legislation BANNING the ACORNs from receiving federal money. [Los Angeles Times]
• Kim Jong-Il told some Chinese guy, an envoy, that no one had anything to worry about re: North Korea nuking the planet maybe. Despite this, for whatever reason, people are still worried. [Reuters]

• That guy, Obama, is still as popular as ever, despite the global pandemic and personally orchestrating 9/11 2: 2 Fast 2 Furious. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Recalled children’s toy Michael Steele has been  walking around mumbling that Specter’s “mama didn’t raise him” in a certain way. [CNN Political Ticker]
• If Texas were to undergo some sort of retarded mitosis and split into five states, here’s what comedies that particular future might bring about. [FiveThirtyEight]
• Meanwhile, in Virginia, Bill Clinton continues to campaign for Terry McAuliffe by screaming “Who cares!”, apropos of nothing, and reminding everyone he is an ex-president. McAuliffe/Specter 2016! [The Caucus]
• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is using the slogan “Yes We Can” in his re-electionc campaign. Obama will be so jealous, that Ahmadinejad gets to yell “Yes We Can” in Farsi, the way it was intended to be yelled. [Ben Smith]

• Here’s Sarah Palin, dressed like an extra from Bonfire of the Vanities, talking about Alaskan national snowgames. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Carly Fiorina has been disappeared, and thus joins the ranks of every single person and tanning machine in Alaska plus one Ohioan teleprompter. [Daily Kos]
• McCain confirms his status as forgotten, tragic Hemingway character as he tells Hunting and Fishing magazine about some catfish, in Arizona, that he’s tried to catch for hundreds of years. I go fishing for catfish. The catfish I go fishing for are in Arizona. I have been trying to catch catfish for years in Arizona. Since the war, catfish have been good. [Jonathan Martin]
• HRC canceled a chance to protest Ahmadinejad just so she could avoid Sarah Palin, who will also be there for god knows what reason. [Top of the Ticket]
• It is literally impossible to overstate the importance of Matt Drudge and the Matt Drudge blog. [The Fix]

As the CNN tells us, one Iranian couple is going on a bike tour “for peace” around the world, where they plan to educate us ninnies on the glories of their very fertile country! The Iranian government had no problems, either, letting them embark on this delightful envoy mission. The bikers are in the United States now, and will stop in other wealthy countries where the government won’t kill them on the way… back. Do you see what I’m thinking? This is an ungodly brilliant couple: They simply told the Iranian government that they would go on a “bike ride for peace” around the world, and now they’re out of Iran. This is your window, disgruntled Iranians! Get some cheap bike, tell Ahmadinejad it’s for peace and what not and get your ass out of Iran.

Hey the Iranian president is in New York! He caught a webcast of “Loose Change,” blamed the Jews for the Holocaust (if there was a Holocaust) and has proudly declared that there are no homosexuals in Iran. Not a one! No wonder the Republicans want to bomb it. [CNN]

There’s gonna be some day on Wonkette where every post is illustrated with this and the “TESTED BY FIRE” pictures. And the siren. (AP) MORE »