Tag Archives: agriculture

  A Modesto Proposal

Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water

To think that MS Paint doesn't include a stencil font...
California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a lawless executive order (they’re all lawless) imposing mandatory water restrictions on the oppressed people of the Golden State, which is pretty much what they asked for by being a bunch of Left Coast nanny staters. Read more on Jerry Brown Won’t Let California Water Its Lawn, Just Because There’s No More Water…
  rachel carson wept

Twitchy Asks The Tough Questions: What Kind Of Idiot Would Want To Save Bees?

Twitchy was all a-twitching on Sunday over the latest outrage perpetrated by the boy king Neville Chamberlain Obama, who on Friday had announced the creation of something called the Pollinator Health Task Force, a panel to study the problem of Colony Collapse Disorder among the nation’s honey bees. Because this action involves two words that wingnuts hate more than any others – “science” and “Obama” – one of the nine writers who staffs this particular wingnut Superfund site had to give up a quiet Sunday of huddling over the comics page, downing a two-liter of 7-Up while trying to sound out the big words in “Hagar the Horrible,” in order to curate the tweets of outrage. Twitchy: it’s Storify for people who lack functioning brain stems. Read more on Twitchy Asks The Tough Questions: What Kind Of Idiot Would Want To Save Bees?…
  blessed are the well connected

Welfare for Farmers Bill Passes House; Food Stamps Not Included Because Poors Can Suck It

So remember when World’s Orangest Speaker John Boehner brought up the Farm Bill for a vote and it failed miserably because the GOP is terrible at governing? Ahhh, good times. Well, as Alex noted a few days ago, the House divided the farm bill up into two parts, so that Republicans could vote just on handouts to Big Farm (who just happen by pure coincidence to mostly live in red states) and put off worrying about food stamps until “later.” Because with unemployment still high, why focus on poor people when instead you can focus on an industry, where according to the crazy liberals at The Heritage Foundation, “Commercial farmers, who receive the majority of subsidies, report an average net income of $170,000, and a net worth close to $1 million.”  The poors can stick to their soup kitchens. In a rare instance of being able to get more yea votes than nay votes, the Big Farm-only bill passed the House of Representatives by a whopping 216-208 vote. All Democrats voted against the bill, because it contained no monies for people who are on food stamps, and Democrats care about the 47% and the 53% and the 99% and all the other percents, whereas the GOP cares only about people with lots of ca$h. So what’s all this mean?  Read more on Welfare for Farmers Bill Passes House; Food Stamps Not Included Because Poors Can Suck It…
  wonksplainer

Why Does The GOP Love Wasting Money On African Food Aid? A Wonksplainer!

Back by popular demand, I’m here to wonksplain how our stupid Congresspeople continue to legislate with the combined IQ of a Michelle Malkin and Glenn Beck love child. Today’s topic: International Food Aid! Or, why your tax monies is going to help poor Ethernopians in the most inefficient way possible. Put on your thinking caps and grab a bottle of whiskey, cause there be learnin str8 ahead. Read more on Why Does The GOP Love Wasting Money On African Food Aid? A Wonksplainer!…
  rumors on the internets

The President’s Famous And Farming Is Hot

It’s Friday! Lounge in some articles about presidential legacies, lazy candidates, and a changing farming industry. Here’s an article about why presidents shouldn’t be concerned about how they will look when they go down in history. We’re pretty sure the main thing history is going to remember about President Obama is he was the first black president to love gay people! That is, until another one of those comes along and we remember he signed off on the “indefinite detention” act. [The Atlantic] Read more on The President’s Famous And Farming Is Hot…
  think of the children or whatever

Obama Conducting ‘Marxist Dogma’ By Trying To Reduce Child Labor On Farms

Yesterday, late-night television, today, THE FAMILY FARM! President Obama is on a quest to ruin all the fun the conservatives are having now they’ve got a/their man, and the latest method is to tell people who own farms that their children can’t necessarily work on them because they are children? Crazy. “For generations children and adults have worked together on the family farm. Those days are over,” writes The Gateway Pundit, even though of course there are plenty of conservatives coming to the aid of farmers great and small (in stature) now. And of course the proposed bill, sponsored by Republicans John Thune (SD) and Jerry Moran (Kansas) has the word “preserving” in it, because if they could submerge 1950s-or-so America in formaldehyde and seal it in an airtight container forever, well, they would. Read more on Obama Conducting ‘Marxist Dogma’ By Trying To Reduce Child Labor On Farms…
  great legislative victories

Dumb Alabama Immigration Law Working So Well Its Crops Are Rotting

Alabama is just the latest backwards state to legally codify its crusader witch hunt against the illegal immigrant wizards working their back-breaking field labor black magick on Alabama’s giant agriculture industry, but the state’s recently-enacted set of draconian worst-ever anti-immigrant laws are working a little too fast: zillions of Alabama tomatoes are rotting away in the fields this harvest season as undocumented immigrants flee like hell. Tomato farmers got together to protest these vicious dingus laws and make GOP state senator Scott Beason — the same creepy racist turd blossom who called African Americans “aborigines” — haul around one of the tomato buckets for five seconds to see how heavy they are. Beason felt he was too good for this and refused to pick it up, which is…hey, exactly like every other legal worker in Alabama! Read more on Dumb Alabama Immigration Law Working So Well Its Crops Are Rotting…
  blame nafta

Crops Rotting In Georgia Since Illegal Alien Farm Workers Fled State

WHOOPS: Georgia’s legal promise to crucify any illegal immigrants it could get its hands on did, in fact, have the intended effect of scaring away the state’s undocumented workers. So, lo and behold, there are no workers left to harvest all of the state’s crops. Is America ready for forced labor again? Maybe this will solve the obesity epidemic? Georgia farmers are currently 11,000 workers short, and a failure to fill the ranks will cripple the state agricultural industry. Haha, there will be no food, this will solve the obesity problem, too!  Read more on Crops Rotting In Georgia Since Illegal Alien Farm Workers Fled State…
  russ feingold's successor

Steve King Stands Against Reparations (Discrimination Settlement)

Steve King and Michele Bachmann bravely stood up to Big Discriminated Black Farmer on the House floor last night, arguing against the Pigford II and Cobell settlements, which provide for the government to pay claims to black farmers against whom it once discriminated. According to Steve King, in an artful flourish, these payments are merely reparations for slavery, because black people + farming = slavery. DO THE MATH. Also, President Obama does not care for REAL farmers, who are white. He only cares about black farmers, who are somehow fake and “urban,” despite being farmers. King: “Figure this out, Madame Speaker: We have a very, very urban Senator, Barack Obama, who has decided he’s going to run for president, and what does he do?” He sighs because he has to deal with bigots like Steve King. Read more on Steve King Stands Against Reparations (Discrimination Settlement)…
  dump that foia like we dumped that lady

White House Absolutely Loved Shirley Sherrod Firing, Documents Show

Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! “Just wanted you to know that this dismissal came up at our morning senior staff meeting today,” said the White House’s Cabinet liaison, Christopher Lu, who is probably wishing he had a cool signature that would impress everyone reading his now-infamous e-mails. “Everyone complimented USDA on how quickly you took this action.” We hope the Obama administration let the USDA pick out a sticker for doing such a good job firing that innocent lady! Also interesting: the USDA took note of what your Wonkette said about the Sherrod video, but failed to take our position that the video was not actually a big deal and was just Breitbart race-baiting. Whoops! Read more on White House Absolutely Loved Shirley Sherrod Firing, Documents Show…
  parties you should miss

Bill Clinton Will Attend Blanche Lincoln’s Agriculture Committee Rave

Black person from Harlem Bill Clinton is headin’ to Arkansas, for some sort of pagan harvest dance in celebration of Blanche Lincoln losing her virginity or something: Former President Bill Clinton, who strongly supported Senator Blanche Lincoln in her primary battle this year, is heading back to Arkansas next week to stump for her. Read more on Bill Clinton Will Attend Blanche Lincoln’s Agriculture Committee Rave…
  rumors on the internets

Joe Biden Travels About The Globe, Crashing Into Everything

The USDA should be dissolved, because it makes zero sense to have a separate government death panel just for Agriculture. [Matt Yglesias] The U.S. can only send a few helicopters to rescue flood victims in Pakistan. Maybe if Wikileaks didn’t start the War in Afghanistan we could have helped out more? [Think Progress] Read more on Joe Biden Travels About The Globe, Crashing Into Everything…
 

A Children’s Treasury Of Barack Obama Playing With Tractors

Everyone’s favorite Barry Obama tried to connect with “the average American” serf today by attending the whitest event ever: the “Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo 2008.” Hurrah! He sat on various farm tractors, and then looked at other farm tractors, and then asked people what the hell tractors do. Let’s take a tour of the various Getty wire photos covering this event and see what Barry learned about the country folk! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Barack Obama Playing With Tractors…
 

Beloved Nixon-Ford Official Tragically Dies At 98

America has lost its greatest leader, Earl Butz. The racist Nixon-Ford Administration agriculture secretary always kept the white protestant Republicans laughing with his poetic comedy stylings. For example, back in 1974 he made fun of Pope Paul VI’s support of population control with a wacky fake-Italian accent: “He no playa the game, he no maka the rules.” But it was his whimsical, outrageously vulgar and racist view of America’s African-Americans that truly made his mark on the world. Read more on Beloved Nixon-Ford Official Tragically Dies At 98…
 

Federal Government Websites Continue to Entertain Us

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service wants you to do your part to help stop the Bird Flu! They want your help so bad, in fact, that they’ve unveiled a web-based campaign designed to convince you that keeping your birds alive is in your best interest! Read more on Federal Government Websites Continue to Entertain Us…