Tag Archives: agenda 21

  Stop laughing these idiots are really scared LOL

Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans

P.S. They ARE crackpots
If you are a fear-addled conspiracy theory-loving wingnut reading this, you already KNOW what we are about to say. Terrible demonic false flag Indo-Kenyan “President” Barack Obama is preparing AT THIS VERY MOMENT to impose martial law on Texas, which will probably be enforced by ISIS, who is currently hiding behind some brush just over yonder, on the Mexican banks of the Rio Grande. Shit yer pants and oil yer guns, y’all, it’s time for a revolution! Read more on Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans…
  Standing athwart Texas's Virgin throat and crying "STOP!"

Texas Rep Lady Ain’t About To Let No Full-Of-Itself ‘Supreme Court’ Gay Marry Texas

Try to get yer gay marriage past this, motherfucker, PEW PEW PEW!
If Texas state Rep. Molly White gets her way, newly minted Texas GOP chair Tom Mechler won’t have to worry about homos kissin’ in the newspaper or any of that other gay stuff, for Molly has A Solution, and as you see above, she’s got a gun. As David Badash at the New Civil Rights Movement reports, Molly is still in her second month of even BEING a Big Girl State Representative, but she has already Solved Texas. For one thing, she’s come up with a bill that says even if the United States Supreme Court gifts gay marriage to a hungry nation, Texas need not comply, because Texas. Read more on Texas Rep Lady Ain’t About To Let No Full-Of-Itself ‘Supreme Court’ Gay Marry Texas…
  You Can't Spell CRAZY Without R-AZ

Arizona Senate Committee Votes To Make Federal Government Optional

Arizona's new state mascot
A committee in the Arizona Senate voted Tuesday to advance several bills aimed at making the federal government mind its own darn business and just leave Arizona alone. One bill would invalidate any federal gun laws that Arizona decides violate the Second Amendment (and would also punish the city of Tucson for passing its own laws governing firearms). Another measure would forbid state and local governments from helping federal agencies collect Arizonans’ phone or email metadata without a warrant — and anyone who helped the feds would be forbidden from holding any state office, forever, for reals. Read more on Arizona Senate Committee Votes To Make Federal Government Optional…
  don't hurt yourself reaching for that outrage

Sexist Liberals Afraid Pig Farmer Joni Ernst Will Castrate Obama In SOTU Response

biased pic i'm sure
Bobby Jindal. Bob McDonnell. Paul Ryan. My Man Mitch. Thirsty Guy. CMR. Delivering the GOP’s State of the Union rebuttal can launch a starry-eyed Republican to anywhere on a scale of Hapless Presidential Ticket to federal prison. So who, pray tell, will be this year’s sacrificial pap purveyor who argues against middle-class tax cuts on behalf of the GOP? (Please say Joni Ernst. Please say Joni Ernst. Please say — ) Read more on Sexist Liberals Afraid Pig Farmer Joni Ernst Will Castrate Obama In SOTU Response…
  Does this tinfoil hat make her look crazy?

Future Iowa Senator Joni Ernst Will Arrest Entire Obama Administration, For Democracy

Tinfoil flags are best
Joni Ernst is the lovely and super charming state senator from Iowa who would like to be the real senator from Iowa. Likes include castrating pigs and warning about the Eeeevil Agenda 21 plot to seize your farms and make you live in, ugh, “Urban Centers.” As if those were not reason enough to let her join the world’s most exclusive club of decision makers, she will also arrest the entire federal government for you, America. Read more on Future Iowa Senator Joni Ernst Will Arrest Entire Obama Administration, For Democracy…
  I Have In My Hand A JournoList

Wingnuts Expose Leftist Google Group Before It Can Conquer America

Took some real ace detective work by Mediatrackers' seasoned investigators to crack this conspiracy.
Pity the poor wingnuts. They worked so hard to bust ACORN into a million pieces and salt the earth so no part of it would ever grow back. Little did they know that the Progressive Menace was just using ACORN as a distraction while it rebuilt the most fearsome of all anti-American organizations dedicated to spreading leftist propaganda like the Ebola virus: JournoList, which has been reconstituted as a closed Google Group called Gamechanger Salon. And the conservative website Mediatrackers.org is ON IT. Read more on Wingnuts Expose Leftist Google Group Before It Can Conquer America…
  a land rant institution

Florida Man Arrested For Explaining Constitution Says He Can Shoot Entire Miami-Dade County Commission

Meet Jose Antonio Fernandez, who has had all he can stand of Governmental Overreach, and by god he is fed up with the dictatorial Powers That Be. So that’s why he went to a Miami-Dade County Commission meeting to protest the seizure of his nursery just for refusing to pay his grazing fees fines for his crimes against the environment. And when he simply pointed out that the U.S. Constitution allows him to use a Second Amendment solution against the commissioners, he got arrested, which pretty much proves that we do live under tyranny. Read more on Florida Man Arrested For Explaining Constitution Says He Can Shoot Entire Miami-Dade County Commission…
  fear of a wack planet

Iowa Senate Candidate Joni Ernst Will Castrate UN’s Evil ‘Agenda 21’ Plot To Make You Ride A Bicycle

Who could have predicted this? Joni Ernst, whose adorable PigBalls ad won her Iowa’s Republican nomination for Senate, is also afraid of the United Nations’ Agenda 21, which she is pretty sure is a global environmentalist plot to force everyone to live in cities and mingle with hippies. The Iowa Democratic Party released an ad featuring Ernst at a campaign event last November, explaining what Agenda 21 is all about: One of the implications to Americans, again, going back to what did it do to the individual family here in the state of Iowa, and what I’ve seen, the implications that it has here is moving people off of their agricultural land and consolidating them into city centers, and then telling them that you don’t have property rights anymore. These are all things that the UN is behind, and it’s bad for the United States and bad for families here in the state of Iowa.” Yes, that is pretty much a Victoria Jackson level of stupid conspiracy bullshit. She’s probably going to go all the way to Washington with that. Read more on Iowa Senate Candidate Joni Ernst Will Castrate UN’s Evil ‘Agenda 21’ Plot To Make You Ride A Bicycle…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries

Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your brain before reading further. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries…
  triumph of the shrill

Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True

We knew it might happen. We hoped for the best. We had a campaign poster contest. And now we have the candidate. The Tennessean reports: Former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Victoria Jackson wants her next act to be as a Williamson County Commissioner. Jackson, who moved to Thompson’s Station last year, is petitioning as an independent to become a candidate for one of two District 2 commission seats, currently held by commissioners Betsy Hester and John Hancock. V-Jack, honey, we are behind you 3000 percent. And in your world, that’s a real number. Read more on Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True…
  the times they are a-changing back

WND Writer Figures Out Democrats’ Secret Plan To Chaos America Right Into A New World Order

You guys, David Kupelian over at WND has eavesdropped on the secret No Republicans Allowed treehouse and figured out all of the Democrats’ evil plans! We are so busted. He knows that the entire point of Obamacare and really of Obama himself is just to create chaos so that we can grab everyone’s guns and make a one-world Agenda 21 government like we’ve always dreamed of. But unfortunately, Bamz hasn’t done enough to distract or wreck America. Sure, he trashed the health care system, says Kupelian, but he can do so much better than that, like maybe faking an assassination attempt or a terror attack, hmmmm? Read more on WND Writer Figures Out Democrats’ Secret Plan To Chaos America Right Into A New World Order…
  if anything it just makes too much sense

Wingnuts: Pro-‘Agenda 21’ Feds Murdering All The Mississippi Lawmakers One By One

In the Dan Brown novel that is the Mississippi legislature, we have five dead in a matter of months. Now, a Mississippi lawmaker has been found dead of a single gunshot wound at the home of another (former) Mississippi legislator, and the wingnuts of Before It’s News have a theory that in no way has dribbled out of the half-fried pile of mouse droppings where their brains ought to be. Republican Jessica Upshaw, they point out, killed an anti-U.N. “Agenda 21” bill in its cradle, so it only makes sense that she was murdered by anti-U.N. forces like … Before It’s News. Oh wait no sorry, since that could obviously not happen: it is the feds who are murdering Jessica Upshaw, because they are “mad that she brought Agenda 21 to this level of attention,” by killing an anti-Agenda 21 bill. Also, people are murdering BP whistleblowers, which we don’t even have to look up, because that we can believe. Read more on Wingnuts: Pro-‘Agenda 21’ Feds Murdering All The Mississippi Lawmakers One By One…
  eternal vigilance is the price of stupidity

Victoria Jackson: Biking Is The Gateway Drug To Socialism, Hell

Yr Wonkette has a terrible racist uncle who is vaguely like Victoria Jackson. (Yes, the royal “we” is not grammatically nonsensical there. We ALL have that terrible racist uncle. You do too.) A lot racist and a bit paranoid, prone to odd conspiracy theories about the government that were somehow never quite so ascendant until BLACKITY BLACK BLACK BLACK PRESIDENT. However, no terrible racist paranoid uncle can really scale the heights of crazy like Victoria Jackson. What’s up today, VicJack? I had dinner with Beverly the Alderman (old-fashioned word meaning head of city council) of Franklin, TN. Read more on Victoria Jackson: Biking Is The Gateway Drug To Socialism, Hell…
  forward comrades

Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Barack Obama’s Brave New World Will Not Have Applebees, Vinyl Siding

The most important thing to know about the FEMA Camps, where we will be soon living now that Barack HUSSEIN Obama secured his second term by giving gifts to browns and poors and slutty youngs, is density. The image of FEMA Camps as these desolate concentration camps is actually wrong. In reality, these encampments will be Agenda 21-compliant model cities. You and your family will have your own dwelling, but it will be small. Think of the average-size McMansion that all job creators strive for. Now, imagine the space where, back when this was a free country, that McMansion would have had a “great room.” That is where another family’s house will be. The second floor will be, instead of bedrooms and a master bath, homes for like six more families. Instead of spreading out these homes over a completely illogical series of cul-de-sacs, as the market demands, they will be arranged on a centrally-planned grid. Read more on Dispatches From The FEMA Camps: Barack Obama’s Brave New World Will Not Have Applebees, Vinyl Siding…
  we won't play sun city

Arizona Senate: ‘Energy Efficiency’ Is UN Plot For One-World-Order

Move over, Tennessee. Not only did Arizona get the same crazy John Birch email forward you did, but theirs has actually passed the Senate, a House committee, and (fingers crossed!) is ready to be heard by the whole Arizona House! To recap, for those who unaccountably missed this exact same goddamn story in Tennessee: Twenty years ago, under George H.W. Bush, the US signed onto a nice UN sustainability plan called the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, or Agenda 21. Here is where Arizona differs from Tennessee: they have not said (to our knowledge) that Agenda 21 causes forced abortions. Here is where it is the same: they want to defund any programs for clean energy or energy efficiency, because “blackhelicoptersUNplotMicheleBachmanncrazeyesSatan.” Read more on Arizona Senate: ‘Energy Efficiency’ Is UN Plot For One-World-Order…