Agape Press got us all flustered a few days ago when they alerted us to the existence of the Sodomy Squadron, a previously unreported branch of the miliary that sent many Wonkette readers into whistful, day-long reveries. Now they’re upping the ante with a revelation about what happens when good Christian schools want to eject suspected lesbos: they get a litle visit from the sassy squadron’s muscular, fabulously-toned enforcement arm. The American Family Association’s Steve Crampton explains:

“I think this is a case in point,” he asserts, “where you have private schools, Christian businesses — and really employers of all types, whether specifically and overtly Christian or not — being given what amount to totalitarian edicts by the ‘tolerance police.’ This is not freedom — this is totalitarianism.”

Totalitarianism indeed! My advice to all you good Christians out there: stay in your shelters, practice your obscure, beleaguered faith in safety where “they” can’t find you, and I’m sure this will all blow over in a couple of years. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to come out… er, sorry, poor word choice. MORE »

I know a lot of you have been totally worried about this, but the good news is here from Christian movie reviewer Ted Baehr of MovieGuide.org: the new Superman is truly, madly, deeply not gay, and, no sir, he doesn’t like the allegations one bit:

Rather, Baehr says all the evidence in Superman Returns points to the main character’s love for Lois Lane. “So he doesn’t give any evidence of being gay in the movie, except for the fact that he’s a good looking guy with a strong physique,” says Baehr. “If that makes you gay, then we’ve got to remove all the people in the Marines … and all the people in football and everything else. That’s absurd. Just because a person is good looking and has a good physique doesn’t make them gay.”

Is it just me or does Baehr, whose name reminds us a little bit of larger, hairier hairdressers, have a touch of longing in his voice for those damned rugged, chiseled, pretty, wholesome types who pass so easily? MORE »

MORE »