Wonkette

John McCain and pals had a lot of fun criticizing Obama for never visiting Iraq. But then Obama announced he would be visiting Iraq after all, in another one of his terrible flip-flops. Well Walnuts, where should inexperienced adult-child Barack Obama go after that? Plane tickets are more expensive by the day, you know: “McCain, who has criticized Obama for not having been to Iraq since 2006, said it was now time for Obama to also go to South America.” After Obama capitulates and makes this trip too, we look forward to the inevitable McCain “wisecrack” that Barack Obama next should “go back to Africa.” [AP]

The public been duped again by America’s Prince, Barack Obama. You know how he likes to talk about how John F. Kennedy is secretly his father, because Kennedy bankrolled Barack Obama Sr.’s trip to the United States and personally introduced the young Kenyan economist to lovely Ann Dunham? All lies! MORE »

We’ve got an answer! According to Wonkette reader “Brian M.,” the beloved Barack Obama basketball picture comes from an August 2006 visit to Camp Lemonier, Djibouti, where the “combined joint task force” is stationed.

Says our operative: “It’s Barack playing basketball with American troops stationed in Africa during his trip there in 2006, when that OTHER photo was taken.” MORE »

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi got to go back to the rumored land of her ancestors. No, not Russia, Africa! Her last trip there was a royal dud, but this time she brought along friends: the boss, his wife, Josh Bolten, etc., and she got to see the boss dance! She got a pretty sash! She got molested by scary natives! And then she got back and nobody cared. Relive the magic, after the jump…

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George W. Bush has been having so much fun in Africa that he took up the Africans’ offer that he remain forever, as their President King. Here’s the former U.S. chief executive at his new “executive mansion in Monrovia, Liberia.” Join us for an AP Photo Tour of Bush’s crazy African vacation. MORE »

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Happy, happy Presidents Day, Mister President who is hiding in Africa for some reason. Here are your subjects, the Americans. They are all idiots. Also: Why are foreigners being allowed to complain about you on the STREETS OF 9/11? [Farewell Mr. President]

Grampa Fred Thompson might look like a harmless geriatric with under-eye bags you could smuggle a goat in, but it turns out he’s just another sinister millionaire creep who hates AIDS babies in Africa. “With people dying of cancer, and heart disease, and children dying of leukemia still, I got to tell you — we’ve got a lot of problems here,” he told a reporter who asked him if he supported Bush’s global AIDS initiative. Then he chortled loudly as he picked his teeth with the bones of orphans who died of an easily preventable disease instead of something respectable, like lymphoma. [Washington Post]

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was totally topsy-turvy in Condiland, but not really in a fun way. There was that NIE thingy which made a lot of people uptight, an absolutely awful trip to Africa, which experts tell us is the land of her ancestors, and then on to Brussels, where half the people wouldn’t shut up about Iran, and the other half nagged her about the possibly fictional land of Kosovo. But first! Gay rumors! Relive the memories of photo-ops past after the jump!

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• Heard on the Hill: Lobbyists both Democratic and Republican are itching to raise money for Senator Joe Lieberman’s reelection campaign. [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: Patrick Gavin’s crush on Tucker Carlson continues unabated with a visit to Tucker’s “Dancing With the Stars” rehearsal. [Examiner]
• Under the Dome: As we reported a week ago, Senator John McCain’s helicopter was not attacked by rockets in Georgia. [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: Tom Cruise madness… A PG County office-seeker is running an ad featuring characters from The Wire. [WP]
• Rush and Molloy: Condoleezza Rice says blacks don’t know how much George W. Bush has done for Africa. [NYDN]