Larry Pratt, the descriptively named executive director of Gun Owners of America, has figured out how to improve The Blacks in America: In a recent radio interview, he explained that American blacks would have a much better time of it if they could just be more like “the African from Africa.” You know, that one […]

Happy Solstice, you ugly vile little snark mob! Welcome to yet another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs, clearing out a bunch of stories that weren’t worth a full post on their own, but too stoopid to ignore altogether. Then we serve up the resulting sludge up for you to […]

Looks like it’s time for another trip to the ol’ comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first missive comes from “Sam_Gavurin,” who was not at all pleased with our story about fake “War […]

So let’s say you work for CBS This Morning, or whatever the hell their also-ran morning teevee show is called. Oh, just go along with it. So you work for CBS AM, and you are tasked with finding the bumper music for a teaser about upcoming coverage of Mandela’s funeral. What song do you use? […]

Happy World AIDS Day (a day late, because drunk)!! Have you celebrated? How, exactly, does one celebrate the 25th annual World AIDS Day? We bought our Editrix a 10-pack of female condoms, because safe sexytimes are good sexytimes. The United States, on the other hand, celebrates by spending billions each year around the globe fighting […]

We like snark, and sometimes we pick on people because they do really dumb things that make this country worser and worserer. However, even if we dislike people’s policies, actions, accents, and pinky fingers, we respect everyone as a HUMAN BEAN. With that preamble out of the way, we are happy that George W. Bush […]

With so much Nice TimeTM happening in the U.S. recently (Texas badass womyns & mandatory gay marriages) we thought this would be a good time to talk about some Global Nice Time. As President Obama travels to Africa to retrieve his actual birth certificate, there is good news coming from several African countries: Seven countries […]

Back by popular demand, I’m here to wonksplain how our stupid Congresspeople continue to legislate with the combined IQ of a Michelle Malkin and Glenn Beck love child. Today’s topic: International Food Aid! Or, why your tax monies is going to help poor Ethernopians in the most inefficient way possible. Put on your thinking caps […]

Hey–remember Gina Rinehart?  Oh, sure you do! She is the world’s richest woman and by some bizarre coincidence, also seems to be one of the world’s worst people. Here she is, warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day and oh, here […]

You know the drill by now: Every Sunday, we visit Christianist America, where Jesus delivered the Constitution to George Washington but now Christians are somehow a persecuted minority. This week’s travelogue comes courtesy of World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, 2nd Ed. (A Beka Book, 1997), a 10th-grade history text which the publisher’s website […]

You remember Mali, right? That landlocked country in Western Africa? Well the northern two-thirds of it have seceded and Your Wonkette would like to be among the first to officially recognize its sovereignty and open diplomatic relations, as so far, no nation or international body has done so. Welcome, Azawad. We think you’re great. We’d […]

Anonymous human entity “Tim Pawlenty” has not had very much luck getting a nation of 300 million people to recognize his existence and much less his stuttering, abortive campaign for American President, so he told reporters he will try his hand somewhere a little easier: “I wish I were still in the race, but now […]

Ron Paul! He knows what’s wrong with Africa. All the famines, the people dying over there that you may have heard about in the news lately? It’s because Africa is socialist. The whole place! RON PAUL, on Africa: “All I know is if you look at history and if you compare good medical care and you […]

Remember late last summer, when Michelle Obama thought it would be fun to take her daughters on a trip to Spain, and then America had a heart attack, because apparently a good First Lady would pretend to be poor as a courtesy to the rest of the country, which is actually poor? Well, great news! […]

Monkeypox — named for the lab monkey who discovered it after being injected with horrible diseases by cruel humans — is probably going to kill you, tomorrow: There is no cure, and it makes your skin look like this. Smallpox or its vaccine immunizes people to monkeypox, but since smallpox was declared eradicated, the number […]