africa
You remember Mali, right? That landlocked country in Western Africa? Well the northern two-thirds of it have seceded and Your Wonkette would like to be among the first to officially recognize its sovereignty and open diplomatic relations, as so far, no nation or international body has done so. Welcome, Azawad. We think you’re great. We’d [...]
Anonymous human entity “Tim Pawlenty” has not had very much luck getting a nation of 300 million people to recognize his existence and much less his stuttering, abortive campaign for American President, so he told reporters he will try his hand somewhere a little easier: “I wish I were still in the race, but now [...]
Remember late last summer, when Michelle Obama thought it would be fun to take her daughters on a trip to Spain, and then America had a heart attack, because apparently a good First Lady would pretend to be poor as a courtesy to the rest of the country, which is actually poor? Well, great news! [...]
Seat-warming Florida Sen. George Lemieux, a frenchy, is FURIOUS at Barack Obama for not getting in a wetsuit and using his magical powers to plug the oil hole with rainbows. “I wanna see my president not in a suit in Washington D.C. I wanna see him down on the Gulf Coast, not just for a [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonHappy Friday, liberal weenies! Or should I say “suicidally depressing Friday,” because all of you are almost certainly suicidally depressed, what with the naked Republican Ted Kennedies and the coming corporate control of all elections and the bankruptcy of your precious liberal radio station! Anyway, like your liberal weenie foreparents, you will [...]
Here we have the most recent entry from smarmy hippopotamus Rick Warren’s Twitter page, the rest of which is SO. GRATING. GAHH. (Example: “If God says 2 things that appear contradictory, both are true.The problem is U trying to fit God into ur theological box.” Fuck does that mean? Just shutup, right?) Rick Warren is [...]
Homophobic fat-butt Mr. Pastor Rick Warren likes to do one thing and that is to lie. He’s a lot like that other guy, Lanny Davis: they both cultivate images of themselves as non-partisan peacebrokers, but when you point out that they’re really just self-centered establishment whores looking out for their own professional interests at all [...]
CLINTON TOO OBSESSED WITH CHICKENS TO BOTHER RUNNING THE STATE DEPARTMENT: Hillary Clinton, former presidential contender and current secretary of state, can do whatever she wants to with her time and infinite powers. She could have found that lost cargo ship that the Russians had to go looking for instead, or maybe she could be [...]
Mean old Hillary Clinton went to Africa’s Democratic Republic of the Congo today to discuss god knows what, current giraffe prices? Because it’s Africa?? And while she was taking questions in Kinshasa, some curious “Congolese university student” had the gall to “ask her for her husband’s thinking on an international financial matter.” But instead of [...]
Heroic provider of truths Orly Taitz went on television’s MSNBC channel this afternoon to discuss her latest proof that Obama is black. Heavens to Betsy! This is too classic. It must be performance art — Arianna Huffington applying a heavy spray-tan and a Marilyn Monroe wig, channeling her days as a Republican congressman’s wife. “LEE-sten [...]
Looks like New York Times columnist and globe-trotter Nicholas Kristof is feeling kind of shitty about being so rich and the Africans being so poor. It is a noble (banal) sentiment, but in our limited experience, the spiritual poverty of the wealthy may suck but at least you aren’t fucking hungry all the time, and [...]
