Tag Archives: afghanistan

  You've Got To Be Carefully Taught Nothing

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

Well that DOES look like indoctrination
A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they’re simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen’s Secret School and The Librarian of Basra, are both by Jeanette Winter, and are based on true stories from Afghanistan and Iraq, respectively. And while both books are about the value of literacy and the love of reading, some parents want them gone from the reading list and the library, thanks to an online campaign describing the books as Islamic propaganda and potentially too mature for young readers. Yeesh. And Banned Books Week isn’t even until late September. Read more on Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No…
  What About The Renegade Nuns On Wheels?

Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What’s Wrong With That?

Dear Wonkette, I wish to complain that you have depicted active-duty WWII soldiers in a story on outlaw gangs...Also The Harley WLA was a bitchin' bike.
Just in case you weren’t nervous enough about the dangers of this bad old world, NBC brings us a scary story about a 2014 report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives on attempts by outlaw motorcycle gangs (OMGs) to recruit former and active duty members of the military into their criminal enterprises. The report, first obtained by The Intercept, warns that “The OMG community continues to spread its tentacles throughout all facets of government,” and has some nice overheated language suggesting that someone at ATF really dreams of writing for the New York Post: Read more on Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What’s Wrong With That?…
  make love not war

Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did

His brain is broken.
Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidates before him, to answer the question, “would you have invaded Iraq?” To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said he would have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein anyway. How? He would use WAYS: Read more on Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did…
  is mercury still in retrograde?

Sarah Palin Delivers Mostly Coherent Speech At CPAC, WTF?

Secret shout-out to the Muslims in the crowd apparently
We do not know what happened to our beloved sister Sarah Palin, but obviously someone sedated the hell out of her and told her if she dares to go off script during her speech at CPAC this year and vomit incoherent nonsense all over the stage like she usually does, she will get the hose again, precious, and no more reality teevee deals. Read more on Sarah Palin Delivers Mostly Coherent Speech At CPAC, WTF?…
  Here have some news n stuff

Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

Manhater
Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here’s the original letter. It’s quite something: Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he’s done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord’s return and the rise of the Antichrist, but you better know what evil you’re dealing with. Nobody is promised another minute of life upon this earth, and judgment comes at the time of your death. Read more on Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist…
  peace in our time except for all the war

Obama To Ask Republicans’ Permission To Bomb Ay-rabs, They Will Surely Love Him Now

Perhaps you recall that for the last year or so, ever since those child-murdering dickbags who go by the name the Islamic State started making a nuisance of themselves in the Middle East — and we started bombing them, because America — various members of Congress have been demanding (demanding!) that the president ask them to grant him an Authorization for the Use of Military Force, basically a permission slip to do what he’s already doing anyway. Read more on Obama To Ask Republicans’ Permission To Bomb Ay-rabs, They Will Surely Love Him Now…
  Always Support The Troops Except When You Shouldn't

Bowe Bergdahl May Be Charged With Desertion, We Should Probably Kill Him Either Way

Get ready for the shitstorm, Part Two
Get ready for some exploding conservative heads: Bowe Bergdahl, the POW returned to America last year after a swap for Taliban prisoners, will be charged with desertion for walking off his base in Afghanistan in 2009, according to unnamed defense officials who spoke to NBC: Read more on Bowe Bergdahl May Be Charged With Desertion, We Should Probably Kill Him Either Way…
  Here have some news n stuff

War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!

Glad that's all behind us now
Remember that time we went to war in Afghanistan? Yeah, well, apparently that’s sort of over now, technically speaking. On Sunday, President Obama issued a statement declaring that We Won Woo Hoo! — or, more accurately, we’ve concluded our “combat mission.” We’ve come to understand this means we’ve won the war enough that we can share a collective celebratory high five, but we reserve the right to un-win the war, just in case it doesn’t stick. Because that’s how the U.S. of A rolls now. Read more on War In Afghanistan Is Kind Of Over Now, Hooray Or Something!…
  clipbait

John Oliver: Congratulations, You Get To Come To America. Or Not. (Video)

Welcome to America; here's your bureaucratic nightmare
Update/followup: See end of post for a chance to do some good, or at least try to. After a week off, John Oliver is back in crusading investigative comedy mode again, as Last Week Tonight brings us this story on the paperwork nightmare faced by Iraqis and Afghans who worked with U.S. forces as translators. As we wind down our wars, thousands of people who bravely came forward to help our military with accurate translations — because as Oliver points out, you really need to know whether that thing down the road is an IED or an IKEA — are being left behind. Despite a law passed by Congress to expedite their entry to the U.S., allowing for for 1500 special visas a year, in 2011, the State Department actually processed 3. That’s three, not a typo missing some zeroes. Read more on John Oliver: Congratulations, You Get To Come To America. Or Not. (Video)…
  Ebola Virus Anagrams To 'A Lib Over Us'

Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe

I'm old, I don't need to make sense
Wingnuts who think it’s just crazy for Barack Hussein Obama to send U.S. troops to Africa to fight Ebola — don’t be silly, you can’t shoot a virus! — have themselves a new hero in Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe. Until this morning, he had blocked funding for the mission because he is an amoral asshole he has serious concerns about stretching the defense budget too thin at a time when we need to be ready to do war in Syria and stuff. Read more on Jim Inhofe Maybe OK With Fighting Ebola Now, Maybe…
  Omission Accomplished

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism

He Kept Us Mostly Safe Kind Of
Well, fans of Christianist textbooks, just like in 1989, we’re just about at the end of history once again, or at least the end of our two rightwing Christian textbooks, almost. Last week, our 11/12th-grade textbook, United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2002), closed out* with a discussion of the 2000 election, so this week, we’ll rely solely on the the most fanciful textbook we’ve ever seen, A Beka’s 8th-grade America: Land I Love (2006), which advised us that George W. Bush’s “most important” qualification was that he “unashamedly identified himself as a born-again Christian” who “took a bold stand against moral evils such as abortion and gay rights.” And his presidency was almost as wonderful as Reagan’s, we learn, largely because Dubya rescued us from the horrors of the Clinton years. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism…
  is failure to follow the narrative a crime?

How Is Bowe Bergdahl Failing To Be A Taliban Sympathizer Today?

Hey, America, remember how the entire rightwing media howler monkey brigade was telling us that not only did Bowe Bergdahl desert his post, he also willingly joined the Taliban and taught them how to build bombs after he was captured? And so we never should have bothered bringing him back to U.S. America? Oh, except now that he’s back on U.S. soil, Army investigators are satisfied that he actually didn’t engage in any misconduct during the five years he was held captive. This raises the obvious question: Why is the Army conducting an investigation that doesn’t take into account the exhaustive rumormongering done by rightwing bloggers? Read more on How Is Bowe Bergdahl Failing To Be A Taliban Sympathizer Today?…
  rashomon to judgment

Peacenik Hippie Bowe Bergdahl Just Wanted To Shoot Up All The Taliban All The Time. Will Fox Love Him Now?

Turns out that maybe the rightwing deathmonkey legions got it all wrong about Bowe Bergdahl being a touchy-feely hippie who just wanted to commune with the flowers and the little Afghan children (and also to be a death-to-America-shouting traitor). Not only was the guy a big fan of Ayn Rand who wanted to Go Galt, but now a fellow soldier from his unit says Bergdahl loved the smell of napalm in the morning and wished he could have gone out and done some serious warcrimes, but the Man, or the Army, or the Army Man, kept holding him back. Read more on Peacenik Hippie Bowe Bergdahl Just Wanted To Shoot Up All The Taliban All The Time. Will Fox Love Him Now?…
  my brain is hanging upside down

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Defeat The Evil Empire

This week’s installment will be easy, since all it has to do is explain how Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War by scaring the Godless Rooshians with a laser gun. And lots of deficit spending on the military, but we don’t need to talk about that. But Reagan didn’t do it alone — he had help from the moral rot of communism itself, which left the USSR unable to keep up with Reagan’s youthful vitality and manly bonerism (OK, on that, we’re extrapolating from what’s implied in our Christian textbooks). Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Defeat The Evil Empire…
  a noun a verb alinsky

Ben Carson: Obamacare Is Worse Than 9/11 And Nickelback Combined

Fresh off his explanation of how Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery and also claiming that food stamps helped his mom get out of poverty but government assistance just makes other people lazy, Dr. Ben “I know as much about economics as Paul Krugman does about neurosurgery” Carson scored another rhetorical triumph in an interview with Evan Gahr in the Daily Beast: “You said Obamacare was the worst thing since slavery. Why do you think it was worse than 9/11?” I asked him. “Because 9/11 is an isolated incident,” he answered. It’s a fair comparison: where 9/11 caused hundreds of first responders and clean-up workers in one state to get screwed after Congress refused to pay for their healthcare, the Republicans now want to repeal healthcare for millions of people across the country. So yeah, much bigger. Read more on Ben Carson: Obamacare Is Worse Than 9/11 And Nickelback Combined…
  leave no soldier behind...unless obama hugs his dad

Allen West Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Made The White House A Mosque

OMG you guys! Disgraced former torturer Allen West, super-patriot and Muslim-Hunter extraordinaire, has been tipped off to some earth-shattering proof of Muslim perfidy and scary creeping — or galloping! — sharia law! After spending the weekend calling Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl a “deserter” and hinting that there’s something “nefarious” about his release from the Taliban, and about Bergdahl’s father, Bob Bergdahl (who apparently doesn’t hate Muslims enough at all), West has revealed a “bombshell”: Bob Bergdahl spoke Arabic at the White House! Not only that, but he pretty much made the White House a holy Muslim shrine by doing that, according to a very smart person who emailed Allen West. Read more on Allen West Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Made The White House A Mosque…