afghanistan

Hey, America, remember how the entire rightwing media howler monkey brigade was telling us that not only did Bowe Bergdahl desert his post, he also willingly joined the Taliban and taught them how to build bombs after he was captured? And so we never should have bothered bringing him back to U.S. America? Oh, except […]

Turns out that maybe the rightwing deathmonkey legions got it all wrong about Bowe Bergdahl being a touchy-feely hippie who just wanted to commune with the flowers and the little Afghan children (and also to be a death-to-America-shouting traitor). Not only was the guy a big fan of Ayn Rand who wanted to Go Galt, […]

This week’s installment will be easy, since all it has to do is explain how Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War by scaring the Godless Rooshians with a laser gun. And lots of deficit spending on the military, but we don’t need to talk about that. But Reagan didn’t do it alone — he had […]

Fresh off his explanation of how Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery and also claiming that food stamps helped his mom get out of poverty but government assistance just makes other people lazy, Dr. Ben “I know as much about economics as Paul Krugman does about neurosurgery” Carson scored another rhetorical triumph in an […]

OMG you guys! Disgraced former torturer Allen West, super-patriot and Muslim-Hunter extraordinaire, has been tipped off to some earth-shattering proof of Muslim perfidy and scary creeping — or galloping! — sharia law! After spending the weekend calling Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl a “deserter” and hinting that there’s something “nefarious” about his release from the Taliban, and […]

Over the weekend, you may have heard, the United States secured the release of its only POW from the ridiculously long war in Afghanistan. Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who had been held by the Taliban since he apparently wandered away from his base in June of 2009, was swapped for five senior Taliban commanders at Guantanamo […]

This week we’ll start wrapping up the Glorious Reagan Years, in which the Gipper personally defeated Communism almost everywhere by Standing Tall and being the manliest. And for a change, on the topic of Afghanistan at least, it’s our 11/12th-grade history textbook from Bob Jones University Press, United States History for Christian Schools (2002), that […]

If Congress signs off on the Pentagon’s latest plans, the US Army will be smaller than it’s been since before your grandpa fought at the Battle of the Bulge, Iwo Jima, Pearl Harbor, D-Day, X-Men, and Cracker Barrel, yer Gramma got a coupon. This might look like a “cut” in the sense that something is […]

Yesterday scabrous poop demon Glenn Beck took a break from cruising the streets of Philadelphia asking women to jerk him off with Swiss cheese to attack the greatest threat to freedom and our American way of life since the Hessians occupied Trenton: film critics. Or rather one film critic, Amy Nicholson of the LA Weekly. Nicholson had […]

Good morning! Our first Clipbait of the week brings you The Daily Show applying the logic of the War on Terror to the West Virginia chemical spill, and Stephen Colbert’s simple plan to make sure Afghanistan won’t fall apart after American troops leave: never leave. TDS had Jason Jones doing a fake remote spot in […]

Hallo, Comrades! Did you wake up this morning feeling extra-communisty? We sure did, but we weren’t quite sure why we had a deep urge to fling our rich clothes to the poor, a la St. Francis of Assisi. Of course, there’s a reason we didn’t know why: We’re pinheads!!1! And if our heads are the […]

Blogging is largely a matter of finding the right stuff to write about. For instance, we see that the Washington Post has a new political science blog feature called “The Monkey Cage” – from the H.L. Mencken quote, “Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.” And its first post is […]

The New York Times posted an op-ed online Sunday night that’s jarring not only because of its content but because of its very existence: It’s a column from a prisoner at Guantánamo Bay that explains how degrading and painful it is to be force fed while trying to hold a hunger strike to protest his […]

Indeed, Private Emily Tomkins, a British medic lass serving in Afghanistan, carried a soldier who’d just lost both legs to safety — but did she unbind her heaving bosoms and grant him a life-saving peeksie? A WOUNDED squaddie who had just lost both legs in a Taliban bomb blast begged a medic to show him […]

Oh, boy, a Republican presidential candidate just went to give a “major foreign policy address” to a military academy, which as we all know means a whole lot of highly explosive murder-death, for freedom, right? Well, sorry carnage lovers, your 2012 GOP nominee isn’t the sort of guy who, say, makes up comical “Weird” Al-style […]