Tag Archives: affordable care act

  waaaaaaah

Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo

Republicans are SO excited at the possibility of the Supreme Court murdering Obamacare, finally, but it won’t all be unicorns and rainbows and the free market allowing you the freedom to die from lack of access to healthcare. There will also be, sigh and eyeroll,  the unfortunate but inevitable attempt by the Obama administration to, like, fix that. This is what keeps Republican Sen. Ron Johnson up at night, apparently: Read more on Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo…
  Christ what an asshole

Florida Turns Down Obamacare Money, Now Suing For More Obamacare Money

Christ, what an asshole
Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Heartless Bastard) was against Medicaid expansion before he was for it, but now he’s back to being against it. Really against it. Of course he still wants federal dollars for his state’s own version of providing health care to low-income patients, but he’ll be goddamned if he’s going to let Obama tyrannize him into taking icky Obamacare dollars. And that is why he will SEE YOU IN COURT, Obama administration: Read more on Florida Turns Down Obamacare Money, Now Suing For More Obamacare Money…
  Teabagger Nice Time

Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare

Obamacare yay, gay sprinkles in mah coffee BOO.
Tyrant Obama sure did set a mighty fine trap for the Republican Party, with their constant efforts to repeal Obamacare! With the full benefits of the Affordable Care Act starting to come to fruition in 2014, and even more this year, people around the country — even those who don tri-cornered hats and hold Gadsden Flags at Koch Bros.-funded tea party rallies — are starting to realize, well, goddamn, look at my general healthcare situation getting better! Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers learned this the hard way when her FaceSpace call for “Obamacare horror stories” was met with a whole lot of “my healthcare is cheaper!” and “my grandmother didn’t die!” and “these are my slut pills now!” Read more on Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare…
  fail

Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t

This picture is from Rubio's website. On purpose, apparently.
After hinting oh-so-subtly for days and days that he had a Big Announcement! to make on Monday evening, Marco Rubio made a Big Announcement! He is going to be president (no he’s not), but not just any president. He is going to be president of A New American CenturyTM, because he is young and hip and SO down with the kids these days that he doesn’t even need to capitalize his name. THAT is how hip he is. Unlike some candidates (Hillary Clinton), who are really old (Hillary Clinton), and represent yesterday (Hillary Clinton). Read more on Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t…
  A Rest Stop On The Way To Galt's Gulch

Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before

If this terror continues, even more people will have healthcare! God help us!
The number of uninsured Americans continues to decline, as almost 9 out of 10 Americans now have health insurance. This is, of course, proof that Obamacare has completely failed, because the Kenyan Usurper OBVIOUSLY LIED about being able to keep your current insurance plan, and also the website was broken for the first few months. And Socialism. And death panels. Read more on Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before…
  You'll have nothing and like it

Gov. Rick Scott Changes Mind Again, Murders Medicaid For Florida After All

The face of evil, basically
Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Not Actually Human) has seen the light on Medicaid expansion. You know, the original light he saw when he first opposed it, but then changed his mind and saw the other light during the 2014 election and supported it in a real tear-jerker of a speech that turned out to be all lies (surprise!). But now, in the middle of budget negotiations with the state legislature, he’s back to thinking Medicaid expansion is a terrible idea for Florida: Read more on Gov. Rick Scott Changes Mind Again, Murders Medicaid For Florida After All…
  he seems nice

Jerkoff Tenn. Senator Calls Citizen A Cuss Just For Pointing Out He’s A Jerkoff And Hypocrite

Tennessee Republicans really don’t want their citizens to have health care: On Tuesday night, a Tennessee Senate committee voted to deny some 280,000 state residents access to health care, rejecting a plan to expand Medicaid that would have cost the state nothing. That doesn’t mean the state’s legislators don’t want to have subsidized health care for themselves. They just don’t think the commonfolk should have any. So when activist Damien Crisp asked state Sen. Todd Gardenhire if he’d be willing to give up his state-subsidized health care insurance, the gentleman from Chattanooga responded in a most dignified manner, as befits an elected representative: “Why don’t you give it up, asshole?” (Some witnesses claim he said “I’m not giving up, asshole!” But they all agree on the “asshole” part.) Read more on Jerkoff Tenn. Senator Calls Citizen A Cuss Just For Pointing Out He’s A Jerkoff And Hypocrite…
  Damn all those liberals who got paid to comment on the Congresslady's status

Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers Declares Victory Over Obamacare Fans, Goes Home

McMorris Rodgers' original graph, which proves that all Obamacares lead down a jagged path to cupcakes.
Last week, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) decided it might be a neat idea to stop playing Farmville for a second and update her FacePlace status, with that dumb looking graph above, just asking hey, everyone, how did Obamacare ruin your life and kill your grandmother? Of course, those stories are hard to come by, except for in Republican fever dreams that probably also include buttsechs. To everyone’s surprise (not really), what happened instead was that people got in the comments section and told all their nice stories about “I have insurance for the first time in my life!” and “Obamacare saved my Nana!” — all liberal lies of course. Well, McMorris Rodgers has an EXPLANATION for what happened. All the nice things people said were about parts of the bill that EVERYONE loves, even Republicans: Read more on Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers Declares Victory Over Obamacare Fans, Goes Home…
  patriotism

Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead

President In Name Only
So this is how the Republican Party is going to proceed until they finally repeal President Obama from the White House: The Obama administration’s plan for U.N. climate change talks encountered swift opposition after its release Tuesday, with Republican leaders warning other countries to “proceed with caution” in negotiations with Washington because any deal could be later undone. Tuesday’s announcement by the White House that it had submitted a plan to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) to reduce carbon emissions, per an agreement made in November between President Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping, is the sort of thing that shouldn’t be controversial because reducing greenhouse gases benefits everyone — even Republicans! Read more on Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead…
  On second thought ...

Ted Cruz Tossing A Fine Word Salad On Whether He’ll Enroll In Obamacare, Who Can Know? Not Him!

Hold on, hold on, still thinkin' ...
Remember when we all laughed and laughed and OMG LOL LIRL laughed so hard even more that Senator Ted Cruz was going to insure his family through the evil, illegal, immoral, jobs-killing, democracy-destroying Obamacare exchanges? Of course you do, it was yesterday, and we are still laughing. Read more on Ted Cruz Tossing A Fine Word Salad On Whether He’ll Enroll In Obamacare, Who Can Know? Not Him!…
  Troll Me Twice...Don't Get Trolled Again

Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers

Statistician Twilight Is Offended By Your Pathetic Excuse For A Plot
Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) had a great idea to document just how horrible Obamacare has been for Americans: She went to her Facebook page, posted a chart that doesn’t merely lie about the ACA but also makes no logical sense (a bullet point list of lies would at least look sensible, but a line graph?), and invited readers to share their Obamacare horror stories: Read more on Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers…
  Not intended to be a factual law

Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good

Just lay back and enjoy the bullshit
Oh hey there, Arizona, how are you being terrible this week? Trying to help poors by taking away their health care so they learn how to not be poor? Nah, that was weeks ago! This week, the Arizona House and Senate have passed a bill to restrict abortion — yes, again — that includes a creative amendment requiring abortion providers to inform their patients: Read more on Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good…
  What -- no lube?

Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!

He really loves us
It was just a week ago that House Republicans introduced their latest scheme to screw America, which they charmingly call the Balanced Budget for a Stronger America. It would not actually balance the budget (unless you do some fancy magic “math” to it, which does not work in the real world, sorry) nor does it make America stronger, but come ON, it’s got a nice-sounding name, isn’t that enough? Read more on Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!…
  This Fuckin' Guy

This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona
Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack has already clarified that he is not looking for charity, and also, thank you for all the charity, please send more charity. Now, Sheriff Mack’s supporters have reached down, grabbed the Sheriff’s bootstraps, and announced that they want DOUBLE the amount of other people’s money they originally said they wanted. Read more on This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand…
  Trollin' like a BOSS

Obama Rubs Obamacare In Republicans’ Faces Again, What A Bad Man!

President Obama can NOT shut up about how great his precious Affordable Care Act is, just because of how great his Affordable Care Act is. The White House has been in full Hells Yeah! celebration mode, in honor of the fifth anniversary of the law that is going to destroy the nation any day now, and then we’ll see who’s laughing, WON’T WE, AMERICA? (Spoiler: It’ll probably still be Obama.) Read more on Obama Rubs Obamacare In Republicans’ Faces Again, What A Bad Man!…
  Mad About A Thing

Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He’s A Dick

Good thing they all get to have health insurance
It must be nice to be Ted Cruz. Sure, you have to actually be Ted Cruz, which sounds awful, but on the other hand, you get to be Ted Cruz. You can devote your entire life — or, OK, the two years you’ve served in the U.S. Senate, if you wanna get technical about it — fighting against the Affordable Care Act and then, just when you happen to need it, BOOM! It’s right there for you anyway. You can swear to turn this whole country around and burn it to the ground and piss on its corpse (for extra Take That! funsies) to give Americans the Freedom And Liberty to not have affordable access to health care and go bankrupt with medical expenses or maybe just die from lack of access to a doctor. And yet, you still get to use it when your wife takes an extended (although, come on, probably not that extended) unpaid leave from her Goldman Sachs gig to smile and wave next to you while you stump around the country saying stuff like, “I’m going to repeal every single word of Obamacare.” America is a hell of a country, isn’t it? Read more on Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He’s A Dick…
  Thanks Obama again and again and again

Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare

He laughs at their pain
It’s been a while since we reminded you that with Obamacare, everyone wins, right? Like that one lady who was all, “Oh no, I cannot afford my cancer treatment now because of how Obamacare makes it so much more expensive!” except that Obamacare was saving her money on her cancer treatment, and she did not even have to say THANKS OBAMA! And all those folks in Oklahoma who are saving sooooo many shiny nickels on their medicine now because, that’s right, Obamacare. And that one sheriff who hates Obamacare so much, he’d rather die than buy health insurance, but bleeding heart liberals are giving them their hard-earned monies to help him pay off his medical bills anyway, and that’s hard-earned monies they probably only have laying around because of how they’re not as dumb as their sheriff and have purchased better, cheaper health insurance, thanks to Obamacare. And then, of course, there’s the federal government, which is spending less on health care costs than previously predicted, which sounds like the kind of spending cuts fiscal conservatism some political party is generally in favor of, but we can’t remember who that is right now. Read more on Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare…
  He imagines stuff too

Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?

He has ideas too, you know
Pity poor Marco Rubio, the other young Republican senator with a fascinating story of his family escaping Cuba — legally, like good immigrants, not those moocher scumbags who don’t fill out all the paperwork — so their son could one day grow up to imagine being president of these United States of Jesus. While Ted Cruz has officially launched his campaign — if not a fully functioning campaign website — to be an official loser in the 2016 presidential election, Rubio is thinking about it too, you know, and he’d like some attention please also! Read more on Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?…
  Happy birthday Obamacare

John Boehner: Is Obamacare Replacement At The Bottom Of This Barrel Of Chardonnay?

Not intended to be a factual picture
It’s been five years since President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act — aka Obamacare, aka The Just Like Hitler Health Plan To Socialize America To Death, aka Romneycare but without abortion coverage, aka the health insurance reforms as originally imagined by the conservative “think tank” the Heritage Foundation — into law. Don’t bother looking out your window to see if the world has ended yet; we already checked for you and, against all odds, we’re still here. Read more on John Boehner: Is Obamacare Replacement At The Bottom Of This Barrel Of Chardonnay?…
  thanks obama!

Obama: Yeah, I Actually DID Save The Economy, You’re Welcome

Hey remember how I saved the country?
That President Obama thinks he is so great just because he happened to have tyrannically imposed a few fixes here and there that helped America’s economy avoid collapsing on itself when he illegally usurped the Oval Office by being democratically elected to it. And now he’s on this not-so-humble ego trip tour, trying to convince us that unemployment rates are down (true), job growth is up (also true), and the Affordable Care Act is making health care cheaper and more accessible for millions of people, plus saving the government money, like that’s even a good thing (because it is). So the House Republicans’ new budget proposal introduced this week to undo all of that is not such a good idea, actually: Read more on Obama: Yeah, I Actually DID Save The Economy, You’re Welcome…
  You just have to love America enough for it to work

House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!

You just have to love America enough for it to work
Oh neat, it’s that time again when Republicans introduce their plan to make America flush with cash and liberty by drowning government in a bathtub and letting olds figure out their own damn health care and generally requesting that we all grab our ankles and hold on tight. Again? Yes, again. So what kinds of nifty fix-everything ideas did the GOP come up with this time, using an abacus and some of Rep. Paul Ryan’s left over magic fairy dust from his days as budget chairman, when he tried and failed to save America? Oh, the usual: Read more on House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!…