Tag Archives: affirmative action

  Hey Loretta

Hey Who’s This Loretta Lynch Gal That Might Be Our New Attorney General Maybe?

HBIC
Eric Holder told us a while ago that he’s resigning as Attorney General to spend more time with all his Black Panther buddies. Who would replace him as the nation’s top cop? No one knew — the thinking was that if Obama named a potential successor, every Democrat would have to have an opinion on the successor, and that might be the kind of thing that could really hurt the party’s chances in the midterms Read more on Hey Who’s This Loretta Lynch Gal That Might Be Our New Attorney General Maybe?…
  nothing but steers and queers and entitled jackwagons

Federal Appeals Court Tells Girl She Really, Really Didn’t Get Into The University Of Texas, For Serious

Last June, our own Snipy wrote about a Supreme Court case involving one Abigail Fisher, a young lady who had a giant sad because the University of Texas declined to admit her to its august halls. Abigail couldn’t believe it, so she did what any young person would do: She set aside her disappointment, went to another school, and had a great undergraduate career. Ha ha, we’re kidding, she blamed the darkies for taking her spot and sued the shit out of UT. The Supreme Court, perhaps not yet ready to gut affirmative action for college admissions, but also not ready to look like liberal squishes, kicked the case back down to a federal appeals court with the admonition to take another look and make super-duper double extra sure that the university could prove that no other race-neutral alternative existed that would produce a diverse student body. Now a panel from the 5th Circuit issued its new finding, and it said basically, naw mang, we got it right the first time. Read more on Federal Appeals Court Tells Girl She Really, Really Didn’t Get Into The University Of Texas, For Serious…
  the tyranny of the majority

Super Cool Supreme Court Decision Makes Mob Rule Magically Constitutional

You know what’s cool? Mob rule. Mob rule is the new hottness. Fuck state legislatures. Fuck the courts. Screw representative democracy. Just put your votes to the people, and if the people happen to decide that they do not really dig on the gays having rights or the blahs getting ahead in life, that’s totally cool, because the majority said so! At least that’s our takeaway from today’s Supreme Court decision, Schuette v. Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, which upheld a Michigan voter referendum that banned any consideration of racial preferences in college admissions. First, let’s lawsplain a little bit about how we got here. About a decade ago, when we still had Justice O’Connor on the court and therefore had a swing Justice who was a rational creature instead of a preening peacock like Justice Kennedy, the Court heard a case, Grutter v. Bollinger, about whether the University of Michigan law school — which is a baller top law school — could take race into account in its admissions and ensure a diverse student body. Every every everybody weighed in, mostly in favor of the University. Military leaders pointed out that diversity is critical in the officer corps to ensure effective command of a diverse enlistee military. Fortune 500 leaders said that maybe it would be nice if future business leaders were exposed to different perspectives and races so that they could be global thought leaders. And so on. Read more on Super Cool Supreme Court Decision Makes Mob Rule Magically Constitutional…
  the civil whites movement

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Know What’s Watts

This week, we’ll wrap up our rightwing Christian-school textbooks’ version of the 1960s as they actually happened — not the way the liberal media would have you believe — with a look at the Civil Rights movement, which is  pretty good timing considering this week’s 50th anniversary of the signing of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Both of our textbooks agree that ending segregation was a very good thing, although they are a little unclear on exactly how segregation came into being in the first place — apart from mentioning that it began as a backlash to Reconstruction, and the obligatory mention of Plessy v Ferguson, neither text goes into it too much. Jim Crow was just something that was kind of there, somehow. But it sure is nice that segregation ended. As our laff riot of an 8th-grade textbook America: Land I Love (A Beka, 2006) puts it in its chapter on postwar prosperity, “Many Americans saw that the time had come to end racial prejudice.” And so many Americans decided to just knock it off already. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Know What’s Watts…
  won't someone please think of the white folks?

Constitution Hero Antonin Scalia Sagely Explains 14th Amendment Not Only For ‘The Blacks’ Anymore

Antonin Scalia, the U.S. Supreme Court’s token white male, had a very important reminder for all you justice fans out there yesterday. During oral arguments in a Michigan affirmative action case, Scalia pointed out that “The 14th Amendment protects all races,” and not “only the blacks.” You see, this is why we have a Supreme Court, because otherwise such insights would only be discussed by bloggers and people carrying handmade signs. The blacks were not immediately available for comment. Read more on Constitution Hero Antonin Scalia Sagely Explains 14th Amendment Not Only For ‘The Blacks’ Anymore…
  money doesn't talk it swears

Supreme Court Update: Special “Screw You Blacks And Browns And Workers Everywhere” Edition

Did you spend your morning watching other people watching some people on twitter watching some people on liveblogs watching the Supreme Court? US TOO! Because of that, we have some super-nuanced really well-developed thoughts on the cases that came down today. HAHAHA we do not, because we are just writing this off-the-cuff through a haze of morning alcohol. First things first: we do not yet know if the gays can get married or the blahs will be able to actually vote in a meaningful way. Those questions are for another day like tomorrow or Wednesday or Thursday. Read more on Supreme Court Update: Special “Screw You Blacks And Browns And Workers Everywhere” Edition…
  segregation forever

Tucker Carlson Weighs In On Black Lifeguards (Hint: Hiring Black Lifeguards Is The Same As Jim Crow)

Did you read our story last week about a program to diversify Phoenix’s lifeguards at their majority-minority swimming pools? And did you worry that Jim Hoft and Judicial Watch, in responding to this program, were not being balls-out racist enough? Well good news, because Tucker Carlson is here to recalibrate the balance back toward HOLY FUCK TUCKER CARLSON, where every mention of black people belongs. And he pointed out with his airtight math science of words that hiring more minorities — and having a training program that ups their skills is exactly the same thing as not letting black people vote, because “Jim Crow.” Because of course he did. Read more on Tucker Carlson Weighs In On Black Lifeguards (Hint: Hiring Black Lifeguards Is The Same As Jim Crow)…
  no country for white men

Jim Hoft And Judicial Watch: Black Lifeguards Will Murder All The Children With Drowning

Today in your daily jesus please shut UP Jim Hoft: the Stupidest Man on the Internet links to some  argleybarglyboo from Judicial Watch about Phoenix’s goal of getting some African-American and Hispanic lifeguards at public pools that are, you know, used by African-American and Hispanic kids. That goal includes training up folks who may not have swum competitively for Team Whitey McRicherson Swim Club while in high school. Predictably, the article degenerates into a discussion (we use that term very loosely) about how all your children will drown drrrrrooowwwn DROWN if you let blah and brown people near them because EVERYONE KNOWS BLACK PEOPLE CAN’T SWIM. Read more on Jim Hoft And Judicial Watch: Black Lifeguards Will Murder All The Children With Drowning…
  always be cappin'

David Mamet: David Mamet Needs Guns Because Of Affirmative Action And Such

You likely remember David Mamet for writing a bunch of pretty good stuff that never quite got over the top to greatness, like Wag the Dog and State and Main. If not that, then you should know him for having sex with some lady to create Zosia Mamet, who plays Shoshanna on Girls. (Shoshanna is the one that when you and your friends cast yourselves as one of the Girls‘ leads, nobody wants to be. This is not Zosia’s fault, it’s just that not many people want to be the neurotic near-virgin who smoked crack and walked around Bushwick without pants on.) Anyway, David Mamet at some point had a break with reality (psst, it’s when the black guy got elected President) and decided that he would be the Hollywood elite former Democrat who broke ties with the party after the iPad came out but is really incensed about Chappaquiddick and the New Deal. Now, David is super pissy about guns. After talking about bureaucrats and Marxism, David states: As rules by the Government are one-size-fits-all, any governmental determination of an individual’s abilities must be based on a bureaucratic assessment of the lowest possible denominator. The government, for example, has determined that black people (somehow) have fewer abilities than white people, and, so, must be given certain preferences. Anyone acquainted with both black and white people knows this assessment is not only absurd but monstrous. And yet it is the law. What does this have to do with gun control? Fuck if we know. But, yes, dumb Negroes. Read more on David Mamet: David Mamet Needs Guns Because Of Affirmative Action And Such…
  duh

Tea Party Nation President: Obama Is Obviously A Gay Black Crack Addict

What are two things that are exactly the same? Are they “Arab witch-hunts” and “questions about Mitt Romney’s tax returns”? No. Those two things are not the same, as we proved with our persuasive logic yesterday. But here are two things that are exactly the same: “Mitt Romney opening his tax returns” and “Barack Obama proving he isn’t smoking crack or doing sex in men’s bottoms.” Yup. Those will work! Thanks, Judson Phillips, president of Tea Party Nation! Read more on Tea Party Nation President: Obama Is Obviously A Gay Black Crack Addict…
  post-racial america

Racist Bake Sale Proves College Republicans Are Annoying

UC Berkeley College Republicans (newsflash: they have those!) want to make a serious point about how affirmative action is racist against white males, which they will accomplish by holding a bake sale that is racist against everyone else. Brilliant populism! The backdrop for this is a law proposed by California governor Jerry Brown that would allow state colleges to consider race and gender in applications, which in the reduced terms of a harebrained GOP student bake sale demonstration of “why this is bad” means that white male snack fiends have to pay $2 per cupcake, and everybody else pays a few quarters less for a baked good according to a randomly assigned scale of “this is how much less than a white guy you are worth.” Who can refute that kind of mathematical argument? Read more on Racist Bake Sale Proves College Republicans Are Annoying…
  hip hopping

GOP Doesn’t Realize They’re Doing Affirmative Action In 2012 Contest

Today, a presidential candidate is making the rounds deploying “the race card.” Surely the Republican Party is up in arms about this, no? That Kenyan was a crook for doing such things in the last contest. Actually, the man doing this is Herman Cain, the only Republican candidate for the job at the moment, and a guy who could use the publicity. Cain is taking on a black progressive columnist at AlterNet, Chauncey DeVega, who wrote about Cain’s CPAC speech and said his candidacy is “a version of race minstrelsy where he performs ‘authentic negritude’ as wish fulfillment for White Conservative fantasies.” Prime race-card material. But not only is one of their own using the hated “card,” Cain is the beneficiary of Republican affirmative action, and they don’t seem to realize it. Read more on GOP Doesn’t Realize They’re Doing Affirmative Action In 2012 Contest…
  republicans in the news

Wingnuts Furious About …. Kagan Not Hiring Enough Black People/Women

When is it okay for Republicans to oppose a Supreme Court nominee for, uh, apparently not being overly concerned about hiring minorities and women over equally qualified white male candidates? WHEN THE NOMINEE IS A DEMOCRAT COME ON KEEP UP. Somebody at RedState heard about somebody at the Duke Law Center on Law, Race and Politics complaining that maybe Elena Kagan hadn’t really done affirmative-action hires when she was in charge of Harvard Law School. Hmm sure that sounds good, let’s climb aboard this particular bandwagon, that’s basically the conservative position anyway, right? Read more on Wingnuts Furious About …. Kagan Not Hiring Enough Black People/Women…
  the end

Lindsey Graham Is Tired And Weird And Lying

Hmm, it seems like Lindsey Graham is pretty gay for Sonia Sotomayor, but he just doesn’t know how to say it! So strange, this questioning of Bush’s own failed Affirmative Action hire, Linda Chavez. She tries to run with the standard argument that okay, maybe SOMETIMES the Republicans may look at race as a factor in appointments, like with Alberto Gonzales or… Linda Chavez… but IT IS THE DEMOCRATS WHO PICK SOLELY ON RACE while ignoring such glaring red flags as stupidity and casual Nazism. But then Lindsey lays it all out and just says, okay, shut up time for Linda Chavez, we are all affirmative action whores with these appointments, enough with this. Thanks a lot, “Grahamnesty.” [YouTube, Washington Independent] Read more on Lindsey Graham Is Tired And Weird And Lying…
  america's greatest pundits

Richard Cohen Simply Does Not Care For Affirmative Action

America’s worst writer, Richard Cohen, strings together the saddest tale of all today in his important Washington Post newspaper column. Overarching topic: the Supreme Court. Pertinent issue: Affirmative Action. Protagonist: hard-working white firefighter. Antagonist: Negro race. “Punished” victim: all white people. Unimportant litmus tests: abortions, “unions.” Only important litmus test: getting hard-working white firefighter’s job back from Negroes. Person whose fault all of this is: Barack Obama. “Supremely irrelevant” factor in American society: race. Bittersweet music to play in background: “Colour My World.” Policy that Richard Cohen does not understand: Affirmative Action. [Washington Post] Read more on Richard Cohen Simply Does Not Care For Affirmative Action…
 

Current SCOTUS Make-Up Simplifies Jobs of Graphics Departments Everywhere

Good news, America — your kid no longer has to go school with the blacks! The New York Times illustrated the ruling with a handy graphic that we’re pretty sure they’ll be getting a lot of use out of over the next couple years. In fact, we’ve peeked into the future — and it’s after the jump! Read more on Current SCOTUS Make-Up Simplifies Jobs of Graphics Departments Everywhere…