Tag Archives: afa

  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.
Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied the pictures. Most people said things like “Wow, she looks beautiful!” and “Good for her!” and, in the case of badass trans actress Laverne Cox, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” (Cox also said many other important things, read it.) Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts…
  wingnut slapfight

Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites

GRRRR HOMOS GRRRR
Bryan Fischer’s butthole is in an extra-twitchy state (not the Michelle Malkin kind of twitchy; or wait, come to think of it, yes the Malkin kind), as he is feeling BETRAYED! You see, one of the wingnut websites he likes, Townhall.com, has a known homosexual in its midst, by the name of Guy Benson, political editor. And Benson is a dirty homo, as he reveals in a new book out this week. Let your freak flag fly, Fischer: Read more on Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites…
  no

Did Jeb Bush Personally Film Hardcore Porn Flicks As Florida Governor?

Shield your eyes!
Made you look. But here is an interesting thing that is coming back up, now that Jeb Bush is one of the Republicans likely to lose to Hillary Clinton in 2016. Did you know that, while Bush was governor of Florida, his administration used retirees’ pension money to invest in ALL THE PORN? It’s true, if by “all the porn,” you mean Florida’s State Board Of Administration invested money in a fund that, among other things, included a company called Movie Gallery, which went bankrupt in 2010, but at one time was one of the biggest movie rental companies in the United States. And wouldn’t you know it? Movie Gallery sold some porn, therefore Jeb Bush has COMPLETELY betrayed his social conservative constituents, who have never, ever seen porn in their entire lives, down in the basement, after their wives were in bed: Read more on Did Jeb Bush Personally Film Hardcore Porn Flicks As Florida Governor?…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?

Rachel's WTF? muscles really get a workout in this segment
Rachel Maddow takes on the increasingly strange story of Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber, who has reached a crisis point in the continuing scandal over the shady financial dealings of his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, who is under investigation for alleged pay-to-play deals with companies doing business with the state. Virtually all the top elected officials in the state, Democrats like Kitzhaber, have called for him to resign. Tuesday saw a bizarre cross-country odyssey by Secretary of State Kate Brown, whom Kitzhaber called to come back from chairing a meeting in Washington DC, to meet with him. Very Urgent. And then he seemed surprised when she walked into his office. He told her he was definitely not resigning, and then said they should probably discuss the transition from his administration to her becoming governor if he does. Which he said he wouldn’t. Read more on Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All

He'd be easier to find if he wore a striped sweater
Rachel Maddow closed Wednesday’s show with an update to the story that got rightwing religious wacakloon Bryan Fischer fired (or at least demoted) from his job as spokesman for the American Family Association. You see, the AFA was paying for some 60 members of the Republican National Committee, including its chairman, Reince Priebus, to take a free trip to Israel, because fundagelicals just love Israel so much, what with it being an essential component of the End Times. Read more on Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All…
  bordering on insanity

Bryan Fischer Explains: God Can’t Stand These Awful Immigrant Children

Oh, thank goodness! American Patriarchy Association radio figurehead Bryan Fischer has weighed in on the Send the Children Away Crisis, and just wants everyone to know that Jesus would want those little would-be moochers sent home pronto, and possibly for their houses to burn down, too. You see, what the stupid immigrant-coddlers don’t understand is that God made the southern border of the United States, with a little help from James K. Polk and the Gadsden Purchase, and so anyone who doesn’t respect that border is actually pissing off the Almighty something fierce, especially if they send their children across the border illegally for some dumb reason like “being poor” or “trying to escape a failed state,” which are really not God’s problem. Read more on Bryan Fischer Explains: God Can’t Stand These Awful Immigrant Children…
  a visit to the goon squad

Bryan Fischer Blessed My Hot Gay Marriage

Yr Wonkette is pleased to bring you a special guest bloogpost by longtime commenter ElviouslyQueer. And congratulations, EQ! What has your intrepid correspondent, the beloved Elviouslyqueer, been up to this weekend? GLAD YOU ASKED! I was in Minnesota, at the Mall of America, getting my very gay ass™ very officially gay married on Saturday (there was a chapel! There were beads! There was booze galore, and delicious cake!). I even rode a mechanical bull, because I am classy and shit. My newly minted hubby and I continued celebrating the next day by going to Twin Cities Pride and laughing at the many, many scantily clad tweens for whom the “Dick Pocket” seemed to be this years’ de rigueur clothing accessory, before heading back to Mississippi. And, you also ask, was there a honeymoon? There was NOT a honeymoon because we are not richer than fuck and cannot afford a two-week long vacay to Mykonos or The Pines or wherever it is where all good gays go (we shopped, also too, so we are now officially the best-dressed poors in the Mid-South). Read more on Bryan Fischer Blessed My Hot Gay Marriage…
  milk bath

American Family Association Will Not Touch Harvey Milk Stamps For Fear Of Catching Gay Cooties

The American Family Association, home of perpetual source of Wonkette material Bryan Fischer, is most put out by the United States Postal Service right now. Did the USPS fail to deliver the donations grifted out of uneducated rubes that are the AFA’s lifeblood? Did it “accidentally” deliver several dozen copies of Bear Magazine to AFA’s headquarters? What dastardly deed on the part of the post office has the AFA so perturbed? The Harvey Milk stamp, of course! Last week the Postal Service unveiled the stamp commemorating the life of the famed icon who became the first openly gay elected public official in the state of California before being assassinated less than a year after taking his seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. The unveiling was a cause for celebration for political leaders such as Nancy Pelosi, civil-rights hero Rep. John Lewis, Sen. Tammy Baldwin, and any other human being with a soul. Which obviously excludes anyone involved with the AFA. Read more on American Family Association Will Not Touch Harvey Milk Stamps For Fear Of Catching Gay Cooties…
  it's called capitalism bitches

Stop Persecuting Christians By Letting Gays Shop In Your Stores!

Are you guys worried about Bryan Fischer? We’re totally worried about Bryan Fischer. There’s just so much homosexxican behavior going on right now that he and his organization of fellow incoherent rageaholics, the American Family Association, are kind of losing track of reality. The latest salvo from the AFA is aimed at businesses who aren’t willing to douse gays in lighter fluid and light them on fire, all in the name of Jesus, just for walking in the door, because of course the failure to do so is the exact same thing as ramming the homosexual behavior down the AFA’s throat, one esophagus at a time. Read more on Stop Persecuting Christians By Letting Gays Shop In Your Stores!…
  needs more 'wriggling around in excrement'

Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)

Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard nearly enough information about the really gross things teh gheys do with their wieners and buttholes. Read more on Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)…
  Insane in the Membrane

Conspiracy O’ The Week: Obama Will Declare Christians Insane, Put Them In Asylums, Feed On Their Souls

OK, fine, wingnuts, we told you a week ago to knock it off with the dumb conspiracy theories already, but did you listen? Of course you didn’t. Fine, have it your way, we’ll just continue to point and laugh, then. What is it THIS time? Oh, Barack Obama is working with the American Psychiatric Association to classify Christianity as a mental illness, so that he can then use the Affordable Care Act to put all conservative Christians in asylums, thereby sweeping aside the last best hope of Patriot America? Sure. We heard about that, but that’s just Erik Rush, that guy who thinks we need to execute journalists to save free speech. Nobody else is dumb enough to buy into that, right? Ah, we forgot that paragon of reason, the American Family Association, which thinks that children being nice to each other is a front for gay marriage and gave Loon Extraordinaire Bryan Fischer a job as its spokesman-for-life. Yes, so now another AFA guy, Buster Wilson, has taken to the airwaves to speculate that the government is planning to classify Christians as mentally ill and “get us out of the picture.” Fine, but isn’t that what the FEMA Camps are for? Read more on Conspiracy O’ The Week: Obama Will Declare Christians Insane, Put Them In Asylums, Feed On Their Souls…
  health care will kill us all

Wendy’s Would Like To Get In On This Unsanitary Food Service Thing By Refusing Employee Health Care

Remember when the owners of Red Lobster and Olive Garden realized that denying health care coverage to food service workers was not super popular amongst their customers? Well, that looked like SO MUCH FUN that a Wendy’s franchise in Omaha wants in on it, so employee hours will be reduced accordingly. Read more on Wendy’s Would Like To Get In On This Unsanitary Food Service Thing By Refusing Employee Health Care…
  twats

Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.

Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are not sure that we follow the logic, as shown in your twit above. A neo-Nazi hated a Republican — who was black — and so must be a liberal? Might there be another reason for a neo-Nazi to hate a black man? Maybe because that is kind of their whole thing? Read more on Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D….
  press releases without comment

Rick Perry’s Porno Stocks Don’t Count Since He Sold Them Before AFA Noticed

FROM: American Family Association TO: tips@wonkette.com DATE: Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 10:02 AM PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Cindy Roberts 662-844-5036 x227 August 23, 2011 AFA boycott of Movie Gallery began five years after Rick Perry sold his stock Read more on Rick Perry’s Porno Stocks Don’t Count Since He Sold Them Before AFA Noticed…
  we knew that liz glover was up to no good

AFA: Christian Women Are Heathen Witches For Doing Yoga

Sure, yoga may seem like a calming form of exercise to you, but you must have forgotten that everything in the world that was not created by Christians is inherently evil. According to American Family Association writer Marsha West, many American Christian women see nothing wrong with going to a yoga studio instead of laying on the couch watching teevee and eating potato chips intravenously (to avoid the exercise of chewing), as God intended. But these women have been corrupted by the Devil and his hellish stretches and can no longer be called Christian at all, for they are now officially members of EASTERN RELIGIONS, which will destroy America after they’ve infiltrated us with the yoga. “Sadly, Christians have become worldly.” How awful. Read more on AFA: Christian Women Are Heathen Witches For Doing Yoga…
  eww! cooties!

Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay

The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off with an opinion on whether Lady Gaga is original or merely a ripoff of Madonna, for one, which is not something everyday red-blooded American men usually talk about when they make pained conversation with one another after church. “Sexual orientation is fluid and is hardly a fixed, immovable thing,” Fischer says now. Uh oh, gays. Is Bryan Fischer about to join your team? Have your sexy bodies turned him into an ex-straight? Read more on Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay…