Tag Archives: afa

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?

Rachel's WTF? muscles really get a workout in this segment
Rachel Maddow takes on the increasingly strange story of Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber, who has reached a crisis point in the continuing scandal over the shady financial dealings of his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, who is under investigation for alleged pay-to-play deals with companies doing business with the state. Virtually all the top elected officials in the state, Democrats like Kitzhaber, have called for him to resign. Tuesday saw a bizarre cross-country odyssey by Secretary of State Kate Brown, whom Kitzhaber called to come back from chairing a meeting in Washington DC, to meet with him. Very Urgent. And then he seemed surprised when she walked into his office. He told her he was definitely not resigning, and then said they should probably discuss the transition from his administration to her becoming governor if he does. Which he said he wouldn’t. Read more on Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All

He'd be easier to find if he wore a striped sweater
Rachel Maddow closed Wednesday’s show with an update to the story that got rightwing religious wacakloon Bryan Fischer fired (or at least demoted) from his job as spokesman for the American Family Association. You see, the AFA was paying for some 60 members of the Republican National Committee, including its chairman, Reince Priebus, to take a free trip to Israel, because fundagelicals just love Israel so much, what with it being an essential component of the End Times. Read more on Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All…
  bordering on insanity

Bryan Fischer Explains: God Can’t Stand These Awful Immigrant Children

Oh, thank goodness! American Patriarchy Association radio figurehead Bryan Fischer has weighed in on the Send the Children Away Crisis, and just wants everyone to know that Jesus would want those little would-be moochers sent home pronto, and possibly for their houses to burn down, too. You see, what the stupid immigrant-coddlers don’t understand is that God made the southern border of the United States, with a little help from James K. Polk and the Gadsden Purchase, and so anyone who doesn’t respect that border is actually pissing off the Almighty something fierce, especially if they send their children across the border illegally for some dumb reason like “being poor” or “trying to escape a failed state,” which are really not God’s problem. Read more on Bryan Fischer Explains: God Can’t Stand These Awful Immigrant Children…
  a visit to the goon squad

Bryan Fischer Blessed My Hot Gay Marriage

Yr Wonkette is pleased to bring you a special guest bloogpost by longtime commenter ElviouslyQueer. And congratulations, EQ! What has your intrepid correspondent, the beloved Elviouslyqueer, been up to this weekend? GLAD YOU ASKED! I was in Minnesota, at the Mall of America, getting my very gay ass™ very officially gay married on Saturday (there was a chapel! There were beads! There was booze galore, and delicious cake!). I even rode a mechanical bull, because I am classy and shit. My newly minted hubby and I continued celebrating the next day by going to Twin Cities Pride and laughing at the many, many scantily clad tweens for whom the “Dick Pocket” seemed to be this years’ de rigueur clothing accessory, before heading back to Mississippi. And, you also ask, was there a honeymoon? There was NOT a honeymoon because we are not richer than fuck and cannot afford a two-week long vacay to Mykonos or The Pines or wherever it is where all good gays go (we shopped, also too, so we are now officially the best-dressed poors in the Mid-South). Read more on Bryan Fischer Blessed My Hot Gay Marriage…
  milk bath

American Family Association Will Not Touch Harvey Milk Stamps For Fear Of Catching Gay Cooties

The American Family Association, home of perpetual source of Wonkette material Bryan Fischer, is most put out by the United States Postal Service right now. Did the USPS fail to deliver the donations grifted out of uneducated rubes that are the AFA’s lifeblood? Did it “accidentally” deliver several dozen copies of Bear Magazine to AFA’s headquarters? What dastardly deed on the part of the post office has the AFA so perturbed? The Harvey Milk stamp, of course! Last week the Postal Service unveiled the stamp commemorating the life of the famed icon who became the first openly gay elected public official in the state of California before being assassinated less than a year after taking his seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. The unveiling was a cause for celebration for political leaders such as Nancy Pelosi, civil-rights hero Rep. John Lewis, Sen. Tammy Baldwin, and any other human being with a soul. Which obviously excludes anyone involved with the AFA. Read more on American Family Association Will Not Touch Harvey Milk Stamps For Fear Of Catching Gay Cooties…
  it's called capitalism bitches

Stop Persecuting Christians By Letting Gays Shop In Your Stores!

Are you guys worried about Bryan Fischer? We’re totally worried about Bryan Fischer. There’s just so much homosexxican behavior going on right now that he and his organization of fellow incoherent rageaholics, the American Family Association, are kind of losing track of reality. The latest salvo from the AFA is aimed at businesses who aren’t willing to douse gays in lighter fluid and light them on fire, all in the name of Jesus, just for walking in the door, because of course the failure to do so is the exact same thing as ramming the homosexual behavior down the AFA’s throat, one esophagus at a time. Read more on Stop Persecuting Christians By Letting Gays Shop In Your Stores!…
  needs more 'wriggling around in excrement'

Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)

Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard nearly enough information about the really gross things teh gheys do with their wieners and buttholes. Read more on Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)…
  Insane in the Membrane

Conspiracy O’ The Week: Obama Will Declare Christians Insane, Put Them In Asylums, Feed On Their Souls

OK, fine, wingnuts, we told you a week ago to knock it off with the dumb conspiracy theories already, but did you listen? Of course you didn’t. Fine, have it your way, we’ll just continue to point and laugh, then. What is it THIS time? Oh, Barack Obama is working with the American Psychiatric Association to classify Christianity as a mental illness, so that he can then use the Affordable Care Act to put all conservative Christians in asylums, thereby sweeping aside the last best hope of Patriot America? Sure. We heard about that, but that’s just Erik Rush, that guy who thinks we need to execute journalists to save free speech. Nobody else is dumb enough to buy into that, right? Ah, we forgot that paragon of reason, the American Family Association, which thinks that children being nice to each other is a front for gay marriage and gave Loon Extraordinaire Bryan Fischer a job as its spokesman-for-life. Yes, so now another AFA guy, Buster Wilson, has taken to the airwaves to speculate that the government is planning to classify Christians as mentally ill and “get us out of the picture.” Fine, but isn’t that what the FEMA Camps are for? Read more on Conspiracy O’ The Week: Obama Will Declare Christians Insane, Put Them In Asylums, Feed On Their Souls…
  health care will kill us all

Wendy’s Would Like To Get In On This Unsanitary Food Service Thing By Refusing Employee Health Care

Remember when the owners of Red Lobster and Olive Garden realized that denying health care coverage to food service workers was not super popular amongst their customers? Well, that looked like SO MUCH FUN that a Wendy’s franchise in Omaha wants in on it, so employee hours will be reduced accordingly. Read more on Wendy’s Would Like To Get In On This Unsanitary Food Service Thing By Refusing Employee Health Care…
  twats

Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.

Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are not sure that we follow the logic, as shown in your twit above. A neo-Nazi hated a Republican — who was black — and so must be a liberal? Might there be another reason for a neo-Nazi to hate a black man? Maybe because that is kind of their whole thing? Read more on Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D….
  press releases without comment

Rick Perry’s Porno Stocks Don’t Count Since He Sold Them Before AFA Noticed

FROM: American Family Association TO: tips@wonkette.com DATE: Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 10:02 AM PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Cindy Roberts 662-844-5036 x227 August 23, 2011 AFA boycott of Movie Gallery began five years after Rick Perry sold his stock Read more on Rick Perry’s Porno Stocks Don’t Count Since He Sold Them Before AFA Noticed…
  we knew that liz glover was up to no good

AFA: Christian Women Are Heathen Witches For Doing Yoga

Sure, yoga may seem like a calming form of exercise to you, but you must have forgotten that everything in the world that was not created by Christians is inherently evil. According to American Family Association writer Marsha West, many American Christian women see nothing wrong with going to a yoga studio instead of laying on the couch watching teevee and eating potato chips intravenously (to avoid the exercise of chewing), as God intended. But these women have been corrupted by the Devil and his hellish stretches and can no longer be called Christian at all, for they are now officially members of EASTERN RELIGIONS, which will destroy America after they’ve infiltrated us with the yoga. “Sadly, Christians have become worldly.” How awful. Read more on AFA: Christian Women Are Heathen Witches For Doing Yoga…
  eww! cooties!

Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay

The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off with an opinion on whether Lady Gaga is original or merely a ripoff of Madonna, for one, which is not something everyday red-blooded American men usually talk about when they make pained conversation with one another after church. “Sexual orientation is fluid and is hardly a fixed, immovable thing,” Fischer says now. Uh oh, gays. Is Bryan Fischer about to join your team? Have your sexy bodies turned him into an ex-straight? Read more on Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay…
  the book that can justify anything!

Bryan Fischer: Jesus Had Disciples So They Would Become GOP Politicians

“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy campaign bundlers and make sure they bring in the big bucks so you can make a large media buy,” said Christ to the disciples. Bryan Fischer knows Jesus wanted Christians to be politicians. But he didn’t want just any kind of politicians; he wanted politicians that cut social programs for poor people. Yep, that sounds like Jesus. Read more on Bryan Fischer: Jesus Had Disciples So They Would Become GOP Politicians…
  he is a disney princess!

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Pocahontas Shows What Could Have Been’

Woah woah woah, you guys thought Bryan Fischer hates Native Americans? Why would you ever think that? Would it be from all the columns he’s written about how they’re disgusting drunken savages with no morals who don’t deserve to live in this country? You’re an idiot. You know why? Bryan Fischer likes one (1) whole Indian: Pocahontas. Pocahontas, who was kidnapped by the English and converted to Christianity, is great because she got about as white as a brown person could get. So white she even took on a white name! “Rebecca, the former Pocahontas, showed us what could have been.” Yeah, if the settlers of America had simply kidnapped the Indians and forced them to convert and assimilate, they wouldn’t have had to murder almost all of them! Oh wait, no, the white people never did anything wrong, remember. Murdering was fine. It was the Indians’ fault. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Pocahontas Shows What Could Have Been’…
  bigotry late night

Bryan Fischer Finally Says Something Terrible Enough To Have Op-Ed Pulled

American Family Association resident expert/terrible human Bryan Fischer decided last week that it was okay for white people to take America from the Indians because Native Americans are savages. He’s a mercantile-charter strict constructionist, in other words. But apparently the Injuns found his ranch house and put their tomahawks to his scalp, because the preacher man removed the offending post from the AFA’s webzine. “I posted a column on the settlement of America by Europeans. The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA,” he wrote. Way to go, you guys! Read more on Bryan Fischer Finally Says Something Terrible Enough To Have Op-Ed Pulled…
  dirty rain-dancing

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Native Americans Have Never Had Morals

The American Family Association’s Chief Being Racist Correspondent Bryan Fischer has already warned us about Barack Obama giving America’s lands back to the Injuns. But did you know it never really belonged to them in the first place, because they didn’t have Christian “morals”? “Time eventually ran out for the Canaanites, because they filled up the full measure of their iniquity. Time ran out for the native American tribes for the same reason.” Those weren’t colonial muskets and smallpox blankets killing Indians. They were God’s muskets and smallpox blankets. No, this op-ed was not written in the 1600s. It was written 400 years later, because, wouldn’t you know it, current Native Americans are “guilty” of being just as immoral as those evil savages were. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Native Americans Have Never Had Morals…
  they always take it back

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians,” Fischer says. “He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords.” And what’s more, Obama is in league with the U.N., which owns property on the isle of Manhattan (formerly owned by Native Americans), to make this happen. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’…
  don't let those stem cells shower with our soldiers

Evil Stem Cells Further Gay Agenda By Curing Guy With HIV

Doctors in Germany believe they have cured a 42-year-old man of HIV after giving him a stem cell transplant three years ago, apparent Halloween-novelty medical journal Blood reports. Well isn’t this just great news for the Gay Agenda. Germany, as we all know, is where the Nazis came from, so it should come as no surprise that they have teamed up with something so librul as stem cells to figure out something so evil as curing a disease that has killed so many people gay people. If the Gay Agenda has found a cure for HIV/AIDS, the American Family Association and Bryan Fischer are simply going to melt, because it will mean there is no longer a “justification” for making gay sex illegal. Read more on Evil Stem Cells Further Gay Agenda By Curing Guy With HIV…
  new stereotypes

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Gays Are At Fault For WikiLeaks, Not Julian Assange

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer knows why the current WikiLeaks headache is happening to the government: The Gays. “Julian Assange is not the bad guy here – the homosexual soldier is” is the title of this latest column, one that will earn Fischer a Pulitzer or at least a MacArthur genius grant. You see, accused Army intelligence analyst Bradley Manning “was, at a minimum, seriously confused about his sexuality” and leaked the cables to WikiLeaks in what Fischer’s sources (a cassette tape of one of the Left Behind novels he plays on a constant loop) call a “fit of gay pique.” Will the treasonous gays stop at nothing to make sure al-Qaeda kills us all? Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Gays Are At Fault For WikiLeaks, Not Julian Assange…
  the death of christian conservatism

Christmas-Hating Republican Party Selling ‘Happy Holidays’ Ornaments

Conservatives are constantly telling us we are not allowed to wish people “Happy Holidays,” even if we don’t know their religion, and even if we are talking to freedom-loving Israeli settlers, because everyone everywhere should celebrate Jesus’ birfday. But apparently the Republican Party hates the baby messiah and his righteous Black Friday Taiwanese Blu-Ray players, because they are selling a “Limited Edition 2010 RNC Holiday Ornament” in their online store. WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HANG THAT, RNC, ON A “HOLIDAY” TREE? Are we supposed to attach it to a shrine to Malcolm X/Michael Steele on “Kwanzaa”? Heathens! Read more on Christmas-Hating Republican Party Selling ‘Happy Holidays’ Ornaments…
  support the war not the troops

AFA: Medal of Honor Only Awarded For Being Gay In the Line of Duty Now

Yesterday, President Obama awarded the Medal of Honor to Army Staff Sgt. Sal Giunta for putting himself in the line of fire to save two comrades during an ambush in Afghanistan in October 2007. But however much courage it took to do that, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer just cannot get over how gay that was. “I have noticed a disturbing trend in the awarding of these medals, which few others seem to have recognized. We have feminized the Medal of Honor.” Noooooo! That piece of jewelry used to be so butch! According to Fischer, the Medal is now only awarded to soldiers for saving lives above the call of duty. “Not one has been awarded for inflicting casualties on the enemy. Not one.” Never mind, of course, that Giunta actually did shoot some guys, killing one, who were dragging away his wounded comrade. Read more on AFA: Medal of Honor Only Awarded For Being Gay In the Line of Duty Now…