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Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard […]

OK, fine, wingnuts, we told you a week ago to knock it off with the dumb conspiracy theories already, but did you listen? Of course you didn’t. Fine, have it your way, we’ll just continue to point and laugh, then. What is it THIS time? Oh, Barack Obama is working with the American Psychiatric Association […]

Remember when the owners of Red Lobster and Olive Garden realized that denying health care coverage to food service workers was not super popular amongst their customers? Well, that looked like SO MUCH FUN that a Wendy’s franchise in Omaha wants in on it, so employee hours will be reduced accordingly.

Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are […]

FROM: American Family Association TO: tips@wonkette.com DATE: Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 10:02 AM PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Cindy Roberts 662-844-5036 x227 August 23, 2011 AFA boycott of Movie Gallery began five years after Rick Perry sold his stock The media, including even the international press, has accused Texas Gov. Rick Perry of […]

Sure, yoga may seem like a calming form of exercise to you, but you must have forgotten that everything in the world that was not created by Christians is inherently evil. According to American Family Association writer Marsha West, many American Christian women see nothing wrong with going to a yoga studio instead of laying […]

The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off […]

“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy […]

Woah woah woah, you guys thought Bryan Fischer hates Native Americans? Why would you ever think that? Would it be from all the columns he’s written about how they’re disgusting drunken savages with no morals who don’t deserve to live in this country? You’re an idiot. You know why? Bryan Fischer likes one (1) whole […]

American Family Association resident expert/terrible human Bryan Fischer decided last week that it was okay for white people to take America from the Indians because Native Americans are savages. He’s a mercantile-charter strict constructionist, in other words. But apparently the Injuns found his ranch house and put their tomahawks to his scalp, because the preacher […]

The American Family Association’s Chief Being Racist Correspondent Bryan Fischer has already warned us about Barack Obama giving America’s lands back to the Injuns. But did you know it never really belonged to them in the first place, because they didn’t have Christian “morals”? “Time eventually ran out for the Canaanites, because they filled up […]

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give […]

Doctors in Germany believe they have cured a 42-year-old man of HIV after giving him a stem cell transplant three years ago, apparent Halloween-novelty medical journal Blood reports. Well isn’t this just great news for the Gay Agenda. Germany, as we all know, is where the Nazis came from, so it should come as no […]

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer knows why the current WikiLeaks headache is happening to the government: The Gays. “Julian Assange is not the bad guy here – the homosexual soldier is” is the title of this latest column, one that will earn Fischer a Pulitzer or at least a MacArthur genius grant. You see, […]

Conservatives are constantly telling us we are not allowed to wish people “Happy Holidays,” even if we don’t know their religion, and even if we are talking to freedom-loving Israeli settlers, because everyone everywhere should celebrate Jesus’ birfday. But apparently the Republican Party hates the baby messiah and his righteous Black Friday Taiwanese Blu-Ray players, […]