Tag Archives: advertising

  give us all your muneez

Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers

You are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from peddling our children on the street. Let us help you help us! Read more on Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers…
  it's got herbs and spices

Poor, Stupid Americans Outsource Fire Hydrant Repair To KFC

Some six thousand years ago, when George Washington and Jesus were walking through colonial Williamsburg with their friends the dinosaurs, our Founding Fathers wrote a Constitution laying out a broad vision for what government should and shouldn’t do in a free country. Their “should do” list was fairly basic: “establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity” and so forth. Well, screw those east coast hippy ‘lites and their socialist “general Welfare” nonsense. Collecting taxes to fund normal government functions like public safety, transportation infrastructure, and universal education is a lot of commie rot. Read more on Poor, Stupid Americans Outsource Fire Hydrant Repair To KFC…
  subtle

Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers

American Capitalism is still kind of fun, once in a while! Spirit Airlines emailed customers this offer with the subject line, “Want To See Our Weiner?” and miraculously this did not end up in everyone’s spam folder. The Weiner-themed marketing ploys were probably going to be inevitable, so congratulations, Spirit Airlines, for making it out ahead of the curve on this one. [Spirit Airlines via Wonkette operative “Jon C.”] Read more on Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers…
  you didn't need that stuff anyway

As American Middle Class Vanishes, Advertisers Focus Only On Richest 10%

Here’s something with a plus and a minus: Most Americans will soon be free of endless advertising and marketing campaigns, because the advertising industry has decided the only money to be made is in marketing things to the last people with money, the richest 10%. Read more on As American Middle Class Vanishes, Advertisers Focus Only On Richest 10%…
  in your face cornwallis

Chrysler Woos Tea Partiers With Awesome George Washington Fan Fiction

Remember when Chrysler was America’s #3 car company, run by the can-do fraudery of Lee Iacocca, and not some terrible money pit owned in equal parts by Barack Obama and the Italians? Now it is exactly the sort of communist foreign enterprise that the “Tea Party,” the most important movement in American politics, is most primed to hate! And yet Chrysler would certainly implode (even more so, we mean) if its core customers — cranky old white people who refuse to buy “Jap” cars — abandoned them entirely. Thus they were left with only one option: sending three Dodge Challengers back in time so that George Washington could use them to fight the British. SHOCKING VIDEO EVIDENCE, after the jump! Read more on Chrysler Woos Tea Partiers With Awesome George Washington Fan Fiction…
  ha ha

Advertisers Flee Fox News’ Chubby Racist Hate-Clown

Vile behavior is usually rewarded by Idiot America (see “Michael Vick”), but there is finally some sort of financial penalty for being a repulsive screaming nutbag racist bag of clown shit on a national cable-news station owned by one of the world’s biggest media companies: advertisers flee! Read more on Advertisers Flee Fox News’ Chubby Racist Hate-Clown…
  maverick outgunned

Guess Who’s Advertising In Arizona?

Pampered, carpetbagging playboy John McCain’s “home” state of Arizona has gone dangerously pink in the last few days, and the Obama campaign is so awash in cash that they decided enh, what the hell, why not throw up some ads on the teevees in John McCain’s seventeen Phoenix mansion condos. So Obama will be airing some POSITIVE commercials there, to be classy. [First Read] Read more on Guess Who’s Advertising In Arizona?…
  Whaaaaa?

Barack Obama Releases Ad With Words And Thoughts In It

The Democratic presidential candidate constantly condescends to Ordinary Americans by saying, “you’re smarter than Washington gives you credit for,” and “I have great faith in the intelligence of the American people,” and by asking voters to “read” and “think about” things. OH SNOOZE. Well, here is his latest bit of elitist propaganda: two minutes talking into a camera about how everybody’s poor but he has a Plan to fix it. This ad would have improved by at least 50 percent if he had worn a bear suit, talked to a parrot, or been “disrespectful” to whatserface, the one with the snow shoes. [“Plan for Change” ad via Mike Allen] Read more on Barack Obama Releases Ad With Words And Thoughts In It…
  lies and lying trash

John McCain Buried In Pile Of Angry ‘View’ Hosts

What is the world coming to when the ladies on The View ask John McCain the toughest questions he’s gotten in weeks? And yet even these hardened journalists don’t follow up on one of his most infuriating talking points of this whole infuriating campaign, which is that he had to start running ads that were complete utter laughable bullshit lies because Obama didn’t want to debate him as often as McCain would have liked. This is akin to saying, “I was forced to smother your house in a truckload of diarrhea because you wouldn’t answer my phone calls.” Anyhow, here he is, squirming despicably. [Huffington Post] Read more on John McCain Buried In Pile Of Angry ‘View’ Hosts…
  offbeat heroes

New McCain Ad Stars The Elephant Man

Good god, what is that…thing? It’s your hopelessly deformed John McCain, cursed by elephantiasis of the Truck Nutz, but he will bravely save America with his Original Maverickness. Read more on New McCain Ad Stars The Elephant Man…
 

Bobblehead Pope Ad Offends Humorless Catholics

The DC Metro ran this ad on a bobbleheaded Pope riding the Metro to a big crazy Papal Mass at Nationals Stadium, and the Washington Archdiocese was like, Hey that is not funny, you are talking about the leader of our religion there, and he would never advise riding the DC Metro, furthermore he is not wearing the right Pope-hat. Read more on Bobblehead Pope Ad Offends Humorless Catholics…