Tag Archives: advertising

  low hanging fruit

Mike Huckabee: Hawking Fake Diabetes Cures Proves I’ll Be A Great President

Yours for only $19.95, bitches.
Republican presidential “candidate” Mike Huckabee is in trouble with liberals like CBS’s Bob Schieffer for, among other things, appearing in infomercials hawking “Diabetes Solution Kits” (yours for just $19.95!), which encourage healthy eating, exercise, oh and also curing diabetes with cinnamon. Because that’s totally real. Appearing on “Face the Nation,” Huckabee got ALL KINDS of defensive, because first of all, you are not his real mom and you can’t tell him what to do: Read more on Mike Huckabee: Hawking Fake Diabetes Cures Proves I’ll Be A Great President…
  Only White Creme Allowed

‘Time To Make The Donuts’ — The KKK

What do they have against the Kappa Kappa Kappas?
Delicious fried lard conglomerate Krispy Kreme is in trouble in the UK for a Facebook promotion issued by its Hull branch. The flyer was intended to advertise upcoming events at the local heart attack emporium, including face painting and the company’s official fan club. Neat! Problem is nobody told these guys it might be a bad idea to name your official fan club the Krispy Kreme Klub, and to advertise its meeting nights as KKK Wednesdays. Presumably, the only donuts sold that night would be the vanilla ones. Read more on ‘Time To Make The Donuts’ — The KKK…
  Sizzling Sharia

Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault

Meat your maker
Back in August, Sneakers, a little bistro in Winooski, Vermont, put a little mock traffic sign in the flower bed in front of the restaurant: “Yield for Sneakers Bacon.” It wasn’t especially well-received by a woman who posted a message to an online community forum, saying that she was a “vegan and member of a Muslim household” and claiming that the sign was “insensitive and offensive to those who do not consume pork.” She noted that Winooski is a diverse community and made an impassioned case over the little sign: Read more on Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault…
  Doob The Right Thing

Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo

The bad trip scene in that movie was kind of epic
Thank god, a Maureen Dowd column has finally resulted in something good for the world. After she chowed down on a pot candy bar and got super-hiiiiiiigh — very unpleasantly so — the legal marijuana industry in Colorado has referenced her “bad trip” column as part of an advertising campaign promoting Safe ‘n’ Responsible doobage. Read more on Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches.

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own. We recommend washing it all down with a big swig of the reality-diluter of your choice. Read more on Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches….
  multiethnic cleansing

Swiffer Being A Traitor To The White Race Again, We Guess

Saw this ad today on the Steve Kornacki teevee programme, and it reminded us of last summer’s kerfuffle over that Cheerios ad with another multiracial family. This one for Swiffer features Zack and Ari Rukavina, their adorable kids, and a big box o’ cleaning products. And just to make it what AdWeek calls the “most inclusive ad ever,” Zack Rukavina has only one hand, having lost his left forearm to cancer. And we have to agree with Adweek’s assessment: the ad pulls so many progressive levers at once that it risks feeling contrived or opportunistic, but ultimately ends up coming across as real enough to actually warrant a rare bit of respite from cynicism Also, there’s the not-insignificant detail that Zack does housework, which we all know is supposed to be like pr0n for the ladieez. Read more on Swiffer Being A Traitor To The White Race Again, We Guess…
  happy days are here again

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression

You’d think that after a year and a half of reviewing rightwing Christianist textbooks we’d be incapable of being surprised, but wow: this week’s look at how one of them covers the great Depression departs so sharply from what most of us call reality that you may want to strap in and wear a helmet to keep your brains from messing up your nice shag carpet. As usual, of the two books we’re looking at, it’s our 8th-grade text, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994), that’s the troublemaker. In fact, this week, we’re hardly going to reference our other book, the 11th/12th-grade United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2001), because while it still has a conservative slant, it at least presents a recognizable version of historical reality. Land I Love, on the other hand, is so wedded to rightwing ideology that it simply insists that The Great Depression was maybe a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the socialists in media, government, and academe would have you believe. Mostly, the authors suggest again and again, the greatest tragedy of the Depression is that liberal politicians used it as an excuse to expand government and destroy individual freedom, because that’s just how FDR liked to roll. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Textbooks That Save Homeschoolers From Socialist Lies About The Great Depression…
  the whoring 20s

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschooled Flappers And Bootleggers

OK, this is the week we finally get to the flappers, you fappers. We’ve been spending a little extra time with our Christian textbooks’ treatment of the 1920s, which turns out to be a fine decade for the authors to lecture about the culture wars of the last quarter of the century. And as usual, our 8th-grade text from A Beka, America: Land I Love, is delighted to jump in and let kids know exactly where America was deceived: World War I boosted America’s economy and spurred great advances in technology. Prospering businesses and industries brought a higher standard of living, allowing people to work to provide for their families. Most Americans still held to traditional values based on Biblical principles. However, the Roaring Twenties became a turning point in American thought and culture, as prosperity encouraged Americans to pursue pleasure and material gain. Entertainment especially reflected an increasing decline in morality. And of course, because this is a Christianist textbook for 8th-graders, we don’t learn too much about what that decline entailed, except that the divorce rate increased and movies glamorized speakeasies and contraband booze. It’s presumably left to the classroom or parental teacher to explain that there was also (shudder!) dancing. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschooled Flappers And Bootleggers…
  do you fear what i fear?

The War On Christmas Just Got Surreal With This Screaming Nightmare Fuel Ad (Updated)

So here’s some high-octane Nightmare Fuel — you may want to remove any kids from the room before viewing — from something calling itself “St. Mary’s At Large.” The ad’s producers claim it has been airing on MSNBC and Fox News in the New York/New Jersey region. In it, a vaguely Burl-Ives-ish voice intones, “This is Amy. She lives in America. She’s free to smile to show she’s happy. Everyone’s OK with this. Amy is a Christian. She’s also free to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ to show she’s happy. But not everyone is OK with this. We are one nation under God. No man owns Amy’s happiness, and no man will define how she shows it” And then “Amy” screams (it could be dubbed in), and giggles, as an ornament behind her falls and shatters. Oh, and as we learn that “Amy” is a Christian and not everyone is OK with that, “Amy” turns her head and we see that her face has a couple of cuts on it — or maybe that’s jam.  This is the most thoroughly WTF ad we’ve seen since a strange Minnesota man stepped out of a lake holding a coffee cup. But at least that one didn’t end with a sudden piercing scream. Why are the atheists beating Amy for being a Christian? Will this ad truly “end the war on Christmas” as the producer hopes? Will someone please wash the jam/makeup off Amy’s face? Read more on The War On Christmas Just Got Surreal With This Screaming Nightmare Fuel Ad (Updated)…
  women be shopping

Have You Ever Noticed That Ladies Are So Dumb And Stupid? The Washington DC Metro Has!

Hey bitchez. Whatcha doin’? Being stupid bitches? That sounds about right. Here, for instance, is a documentary prepared by some cool guy at whoever does the in-house documentaries for the DC Metro public transportation system, which everyone loves very much, and it is all about how their buses only break down every 8,000 miles, so give them a medal please. Also it is about ladies, and how they are so dumb. Read more on Have You Ever Noticed That Ladies Are So Dumb And Stupid? The Washington DC Metro Has!…
  Sadvertising

Shaquille O’Neal Says A Lie In This Chris Christie Campaign Ad, Fouls Out

Last night we were watching the baseball men from Boston do better baseball than some other baseball men to become Champions of the World of the Continental United States and Canada — congratulations, you brave, coarse millionaires! The best part was when they hit the ball and it went far. But the second best part was when Shaquille O’Neal, a man who is known for his proficiency in an entirely different sportsball game (and also for being a wizard), came on our teevees to tell us that we should vote for Chris Christie, even though we live in New York and can’t. “I don’t endorse many politicians,” says Shaq, “but Chris Christie is different.” We agree, but probably for different reasons, and come on, why wasn’t it “but when I do, I endorse Chris Christie”? Trademark tyranny, probably. Then Shaq says a lie about Chris Christie’s record on education! Read more on Shaquille O’Neal Says A Lie In This Chris Christie Campaign Ad, Fouls Out…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium Of Contemptible Contretemps

Happy Saturday, you slugabeds! As you blearily try to shake off the residue of last night’s revelries, pour yourself another cuppa joe and treat yourself to a serving of our weekly concatenation of clinking, clanking, caligenous junk from the interwebs that was too stoopid to ignore altogether but that didn’t quite merit a full-length post. And we’ll even start your descent into hell gently, with a bad-news story that’s got a Nice Times kicker. By now, you’ve probably heard that Guido Barilla, the chairman of Italy’s Barilla pasta proudly joined the asshat brigade last week with his vow that the company’s ads would never feature same-sex families: “I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role … In the interview, Barilla said he opposed adoption by gay parents, but was in favour of allowing gay marriage, which is not legal in Italy. … If gays “like our pasta and our advertising, they’ll eat our pasta, if they don’t like it then they will not eat it and they will eat another brand,” he said. Pretty impressive how he manages to dismiss both gays and women in a single statement there. The inevitable agita and talk of boycotts ensued, and Barilla issued one of those “sorry if anyone was offended” not-pologies. So there’s that. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium Of Contemptible Contretemps…
  stop feeling good about healthcare!

We Are In Dirty Hippie Love With This Oregon Health Exchange Ad

Butthurt Alert/Drudge Sirens! A number of rightwing sites are outraged, Outraged! at this “acid trip Obamacare ad” that “costs taxpayers $3.2 million” — a figure that appears to include not only the production costs, but also the cost of buying ad time and other PSA’s, not that the angerbears at Americans for Tax Reform bother with that distinction. We especially like the complaint at Hot Air, which says the ad features a “retro hipstery busker flying over the Orwellian rainbows of Portland.” Rainbows are Orwellian now? Read more on We Are In Dirty Hippie Love With This Oregon Health Exchange Ad…
  appetizing young hate for sale

Marco Rubio Would Not Like To Try Your Sample Of Obamacare Thank You Very Much

Oh, conservatives. Your perpetual ragesad about Obamacare could power a small country. We lose track of what you are mad at today. What are you mad at today? Oh hey, Marco Rubio. Didn’t see you there. Were you off getting a drink of water? Anyway. What’s got your tear ducts flowing? Oh. You’re sad that the government is going to spend money to advertise a law that you don’t like because not fair? That seems totally reasonable. Read more on Marco Rubio Would Not Like To Try Your Sample Of Obamacare Thank You Very Much…
  Sadvertising

Even the Ads Are Racist On World Net Daily

ATTENTION CHERISHED CORPORATE SPONSORS: The above disgusting manipulation of First Lady Michelle Obama is disgusting, and we endorse its use for two purposes only: Art, and to show everybody what despicable bilge passes for appropriate advertising at WorldNetDaily, a U.S. top-500 website that employs a former Senator and also takes monies from many private companies, at least a few of which/whom may find this ad to be disgusting… because it is! Read more on Even the Ads Are Racist On World Net Daily…