Wonkette

THIS IS A CHICAGO SUN-TIMES COLUMN TODAY: “Suppose Barack Obama had dumped a crippled wife and married a beer heiress one month after the divorce. Do you really think he wouldn’t have been tripped up by such a scandalous past? The Republicans would have had a field day mocking his character. But John McCain’s tawdry personal history is rarely mentioned.” [Mary Mitchell/Sun-Times]

MAIN STREAM MEDIAS: Here, after we’re already bored of the story, are 53 news articles about the mill worker John Edwards and his weird Beverly Hills hotel bathroom adventure and “Rielle Hunter” and Adultery and bastard children. [Google News]

Charles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex? MORE »

John McCain is such a maverick that nobody believes he’s really a Republican, but in the “abandoning your ailing wife for a new young wife” department, McCain is 100% GOP. We will hear lots more about Carol McCain, the swimsuit model Walnuts married when Barack Obama was almost four years old and divorced when Barack Obama was still in high school! But will we see more of her? This is the only known picture of John and Carol.

The new guy, the blind New York governor who isn’t even the nation’s first blind governor, he has also had sex affairs with ladies who were not his wife — or at least he thinks he had such affairs. Maybe it was just his wife after all. He’s blind, remember? Moments after being sworn in after the other adulterer had to quit, latest-Governor David Paterson told the NY Daily News that he likes sleeping around, too! Oh, and it gets better, because his wife also has affairs. Shocking additional revelations will be posted in just a few minutes. [NY Daily News]

Harper’s, or at least Ken Silverstein, has a weird hard-on for Congressman Ric Keller of Florida. Don’t know who he is? That’s kind of my point.

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Judith Giuliani used to be a poor gal from a small Pennsylvania town, but she clawed her way up and over the corpses of various ex-husbands until she found New York fascist mayor Rudy G. and tore apart his family so she could finally be the first lady of 9/11. That’s the gist of this long Vanity Fair story about the former Judi Ann Stish who left home with nothing more than cheap lipstick case in need of so many, many notches. Also: MORE »

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The ‘08 Republican Primaries will be enormously entertaining. Especially now that Bob f-ing Dornan has thrown his hat in the ring: MORE »

…or, as an astute tipster put it, “Congressman McChokey Gets Help From Congressman McSmacky.” MORE »