December 5, 2013
When white people get angry/sad/want to exchange pictures of cats, they almost always create “groups” on the Internet, because that’s how you show that you care about the issues (“1,000,000 Facebook Users For More Fruit in Our Yoplait Go-Gurt,” et cetera). So when current DC Mayor and champion of white-people causes “Adrian Fenty” lost the [...]
Let’s just say that everything works out in the New Fenty-less DC. Maybe the city will become One! Hooray! BUT what if waiting in line for lobster rolls suddenly becomes outlawed? What if new wine bars and hamburger restaurants no longer open at a weekly rate, and 14th Street doesn’t get its 36th modern furniture store? [...]
No D.C. Republican bothered to run for mayor, but Dave Weigel’s Twitter followers turned out, apparently, as Adrian Fenty won the GOP nomination Tuesday. A whopping 822 Republicans penned in Fenty’s name on the write-in spot on the GOP ballot, according to unofficial results released Friday morning by the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics. [...]
If there’s one thing this week has reminded us of, it’s that politics is one Big Ugly Circus: that denouncing masturbation gets you votes, but that fighting crime and fixing schools does not. Oh, but thankfully just miles outside the District, near National Harbor, there you can find Cirque du Soleil, an upscale circus that [...]
Fenty credited Gray with running a “strategic” and “disciplined” campaign and said he will not run against him. In fact, Fenty said he doubts he will ever be in elected office again. “For me, this is the beginning of the end of a great 10-year run,” he said. Aww. Somebody needs a Tom Tancredo hug. [...]
If you care about “DC politics” — and chances are you probably don’t — you might have heard that Mayor Adrian Fenty was cold trounced in the Democratic mayoral primary yesterday evening, by a certain Vincent Gray. Many believe that Fenty lost because he is bald and has too many white friends, but this is [...]
Christine O’Donnell is accepting her nomination! She just thanked all the best people in America: the 9/12 nuts, the Teabaggers, the Tea Party Express, the Normal Americans (!), etc. And now she’s dragging out one of the most discredited wingnut stories in American History: That Vietnam veterans were “spit on” when they returned home to [...]
Today marks the end of the terrible Primary Season, with seven states heading to the polls. Which primary will embarrass the Republican Establishment the most? In Delaware, normal Republican Congressman Mike Castle faces off with Teabagger lady Christine O’Donnell for a chance to sit in Joe Biden’s old, asbestos-stuffed Senate seat. Add the fact that [...]
Yes, yes, yes, Washington, DC is very sad because we’re about to be overrun with racist loonies who worship a pudgy weirdo who worships space monsters. But before the crazies shuffle onto their tour buses and make their way into our city’s safest areas, we have local politics to focus upon, namely the election for [...]
D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty was already having enough trouble in his re-election campaign against Council Chairman Vincent Gray before mysterious flyers and ads in the Washington City Paper started appearing depicting Fenty in a diaper on a rocking horse and bearing the title “SLAP THIS BRAT.” The diaper fetishist constituency is sick of your BROKEN [...]
Mayor Fenty takes a break tonight from arming DC in exchange for some lousy “vote” and personally unemploying city workers to perform the most sacred duty of public office: bestowing arts honors upon the citizenry. His lost time is our gain, because tonight’s 24th Annual Mayor’s Arts Awards has entertainment, feel-good philanthropy, and no cover!
Here’s some cheery news while the nation collapses: Gossip website Jossip has crowned our very own Mayor Adrian Fenty as America’s Least Loathsome Politician!
Hey look our Liz Glover is all growed up! Now that she works for the Moonie Times her interviews have to be “serious,” so whereas before she might have asked the mayor some obnoxious question like, “Do you like balls?” she instead asked him how much money Washington DC made off the inauguration. Journalism! [TheNewsRoom]