Patrick Kennedy spoke yesterday before a group of mental health specialists at Brown University (and the assembled press). Now he’s heading back to Congress, where he’ll join the rest of the burnouts to bicker about homos and wetbacks. We’re not sure why people keep saying he’s unfit to be a Congressman, he’s like the platonic ideal of a member of the House. Dumb as a brick, a few too many generations removed from greatness, able to skirt any kind of serious trouble with connections and occasional mea cuplas, and locked into his seat for life. MORE »

So, uh, now we feel a little bit bad. ‘Cause, we were just having a bit of fun, you know, and considering that the two options available for Patrick Kennedy’s weird behavior were either a) plain ol’ Kennedy-approved alcohol and b) hilarious drug mix-up, we thought, well, no harm. MORE »