Tag: addiction

Fox Doc Keith Ablow Being A Jerk To All The Lazy, Potted-Up Millennials. That Is Wonkette’s Job!

Snotnosed Millennial brat thinks "Dr." Keith Ablow is not even the boss of him, whatever.
Well done, Maine Lege!

Maine Legislature Tells Gov. Paul LePage To F*ck Himself Right In The Ear

A nice-time update, at least insofar as anything involving opioid overdoses can be considered "nice": On Friday, the Maine Legislature voted overwhelmingly to override Gov. Paul LePage's veto of a bill to allow pharmacists to dispense the anti-overdose drug...
People with disabilities should just knock it off and stop faking

Sen. Tom Cotton Knows ‘Disabled’ Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton returned to one of the Great Republican Myths the other day, suggesting the Social Security Disability program is not merely full of fakes and cheaters, but might actually cause economic decline and drug abuse. In...
Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin', homo-hatin,' and a sincerely held religious belief...
Does a large legislature bring more idiots into government?

New Hampshire Rep. Just Asking: Does Medicaid Expansion Make You Shoot Heroin?

Here's some unconventional thinking from New Hampshire state Rep. Dan McGuire: maybe the reason that New Hampshire has so much heroin addiction is that Medicaid has been expanded in the state, and hence more people have access to addiction...
Can't. Even.

Pat Robertson: You Know What’s Not Godly? Vegetables.

Televangelist conman-for-Jesus crazy mofo Pat Robertson has scammed a lot of money over the years by offering "the Lord's" pro-tips on his teevee show, the 700 Club. We could devote 29 hours a day to watching him and trying...
Invasion of the babby-snatchers

Texas Wants In On This Pregnancy Crimes Game, Too

Looks like we have a trend story here! A few days ago we brought you the story of Alabama Supreme Court Judge Tom Parker, who's working to end 'bortion forever by building a whole bunch of cases that treat...

LifeNews Fap Fantasy Time: Let’s Just Say Robin Williams Killed Himself Over Abortion

Did you get your fill of people being terrible (hi, Rush Limbaugh!) and using Robin Williams's death for their own means (lookin' at you, douche-y Minnesota GOP guy!) yesterday? Haha too bad because we are going to cram even...

Scott Walker Will Not Get All Potted Up At Your Hippie Wedding, Wisconsin

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has a profound insight into the cultural and medical reasons that make alcohol okay, while marijuana should not be decriminalized: “If I’m at a wedding reception here and somebody has a drink or two, most people...

Let Ben Shapiro Explain To You How Liberalism Killed Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Ladies and gentlemen, Conservative Thought Leader Ben Shapiro has some Thoughts on the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. See, we thought we were rather uncharitable yesterday when we were feeling angry and resentful toward Hoffman for being an...

Orrin Hatch To Test Welfare Recipients For Drugs

Famed Utah hazzan Senator Orrin Hatch proposed an amendment to the $140 billion jobs benefits extension bill today that would make people seeking welfare benefits first pass a drug test. Welfare will now be a level playing field, as...

Limbaugh: I Was An Addict, And Democrats Are Like The Hobbits In That Movie

The Rush Limbaugh program is a very entertaining program, it's true. This segment with a caller is funny enough when he's explaining to her what an addiction is like, and how the liberals are all "addicted to power," whereas...

Have A Toke On Thomas Friedman’s Oil Pipe

"One more hit, baby. Just one more toke on the ole oil pipe. ... Give me one more pop from that drill, please, baby. Just one more transfusion of that sweet offshore crude." PUT THAT AWAY.

Happy Birthday, Betty Ford!