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by Ken Layne  7:08 pm June 22, 2010

RUN-OFF PRIMARY LIVEBLOGGING ALERT: Election “fun” will be had tonight with the results from North Carolina, South Carolina and West Carolina (Utah). Team Wonkette Coverage begins about 8 p.m., when the polls close in the Confederacy. BUY BOOZE NOW BECAUSE IT’S NOT SUNDAY.

MSNBC host Keith Olbermann is sick and tired of you libtards complaining about him on the DailyKos. So that’s it, no more Keith Olbermann blog posts on the Daily Kos … unless you people start behaving. You don’t have to behave really well, just make the site “the way it was even a year ago,” [...]

Some communist somewhere is circulating this old AP newspaper clipping claiming that the sainted Reagan Administration did that thing that every political leadership has done since the Dawn of Politics, and frankly it’s insulting to the memory of The Gipper to even suggest his White House would’ve offered an ambassadorship or administration job to a [...]

Is Hanukkah/Chanukah finally over, so we can get on with the true Jewish Christmas? Yes? Hooray! Here’s a picture of Barack and Michelle just cold putting a “crown of eight thorns” on this poor kid’s head. And the official “Two Weeks of Fucking Off” have officially begun, praise be to Kwanzaa, peace be upon Him.

Unpopular elected official Harry Reid is just all about including the public option on the new health care bill. [New York Times] John Kerry is so busy and fulfilled chairing the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that he totally doesn’t even have time to think about 2004. [Washington Post] A team of pilots flying a commercial [...]

Thursday, October 15 and Friday, October 16: Do liberals or conservatives produce fresher vegetables?  [White House Farmers Market, Capitol Harvest at the Ronald Reagan Building]

The official White House Flickr photo-porn stream has crassly brought POLITICS into the death of famous politician Ted Kennedy, by posting a set of pictures titled, “Remembering Senator Kennedy.” Yeah, more like “Remembering the Politician Ted Kennedy, instead of the apolitical national mascot we all loved as our own sort of Col. Sanders or whatever.” [...]

Uhh, question of immense literary and historical importance: What does Sarah Palin’s departure from politics mean for Sarah Palin’s nascent book about being involved in politics? Probably nothing! Recall back to May: HarperCollins proudly announced that it would be publishing Palin’s book about bein’ a soccer mom and bein’ a hockey governor and bein’ a [...]

In the continuum of America’s Problems, right before everyone was concerned about the economy and right after the environment actually starting melting, there was the issue of the Muslins, a dangerous sect of Hawaiian Christian Platonists who went rogue for a few years, in Iraq. You’ll recall The War, yes? Anyway, few books about that [...]

The DC police are putting together a book with the 60 most notorious youth offenders so that people in-the-know will be kept abreast of these kids in the rosy-fingered dawn of their careers or something. It too has tenuous privacy implications, just like actual Facebook. [Washington Post]

A deer, which was being chased by a pack of dogs, which was being chased by Sarah Palin and a fleet of helicopters, which was being chased by that same deer, smashed into the window of a Greek restaurant in Silver Spring and then went to hide out in the bakery of a Giant. [WTOP]

Last time we checked in on notorious idiot wingnut Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, she was almost losing her safe House seat after proposing Witch Trials for every Democratic member of Congress, because of socialism. She squeaked by, though, and thank God, because she’s funny. With the SOCIALISM WITCH TRIAL SCANDAL finally out of the [...]

by Ken Layne  3:15 pm February 10, 2009

HELP FIND THIS LOST D.C. DOG: This is Alli, a 17-month-old Newfoundland. She vanished the night of January 21, from Georgetown. Very nice dog, etc. Black nylon collar. [Find My Dog Alli]

It seems like just a million years ago when the 2006 midterm elections left the GOP crippled and destroyed. Ah, Cocktober and Blovember of yore, how we miss ye! Not really. But guess what? The campaign that began on November 8, 2006 is now over, pretty much! It is Election Day!

It’s now well after 1 p.m. and we haven’t heard anything from editor Jim Newell, so we have to assume he’s either in jail or rigorously pursuing his vow to “fuck 50 paultards” in the woods somewhere, or maybe in the reflecting pool. All we have are some drunken comments from the Wonkette operatives who [...]