Wonkette

• Christian Kids in Virgina are trying to convince libraries to balance their “pro-gay” collections with books about how Jesus writes passive-aggressive Twitters or whatever every time a gay person smiles. [Washington Post]
• Major Fenty fired one of his neighborhood services coordinators for refusing to buy him Chamomile tea. It helps him sleep at night, dammit!  [City Desk]
• Here’s how your friends in Adams Morgan got wasted during last night’s debate. (Spoiler alert: It was Jello shots, mostly.) [Fishbowl DC]
• A Metro operator did this racist thing in which he talked about people wearing towels on their heads, but only because of how much he loved the Redskins. And what’s more American than that? [DC Examiner]
• Some Slovakian triathletes took pictures of some Virginian children going to school — because they love school buses! [WTOP]

* HOLY SHIT IT’S A GIANT ASPARAGUS. [Prince of Petworth]
* “It’s inhuman and morally outrageous, yes. But man, that’s a pretty good idea for an online contest. If you could just tone down the evil you might really have something there.” [The DCeiver]
* Water, water everywhere, except in Adams Morgan. [why.i.hate.dc]
* “Um, what?” [DCist]
* Bitch, please. [Eavesdrop DC]

Last Sunday was the Adams Morgan Day Festival! Did you go? Because we’re pretty sure you did, it was a total fucking madhouse trying to even cross 18th street that afternoon. Also there was some old-tymey folk bank playing and we were like, really? Banjos and mandolins? That is Adams Morgan’s cultural heritage? Are all the Ethiopians and Latinos secretly poor southern Dust Bowl farmers or something? Anyway — Liz Gorman took some very lovely pictures there that we think you should look at. You’ll find them here.

Adams Morgan Day Festival Gallery

* “Imagine my surprise when I got to the DMV on M St SE this morning, just as they opened, and got my brand new DC driver’s license in about a half an hour. The metal detectors at the door were a little unexpected, but the rest of the experience was totally pleasant.” [From Harvard Street]
* “MC with the hispanic guy on the bike who grabbed my ass last night…furiously pedaling down 16th Street north of Adams Morgan.” [EJ Takes Life]
* Fundraiser for Eastern Market tonight at Marty’s. [The DC Concierge]
* Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon hit you up at the Happy Booker today. [The Happy Booker]

* “NO WASHINGTON DC ATTITUDE.” [CL]
* Not dirty, not smelly, not fat, not dork, only fucked his wife 3 times in 2006, mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. [CL]
* Interview with the owner of Junction. [Pandahead]
* Shamrockfest this Saturday at RFK. [Yeah, So I'm ...]
* Applying Kurt Vonnegut to the Adams Morgan establishment, Nolans. [why.i.hate.dc]

* “I am Mary Cheney’s fetus” [Craigslist]
* Blogging to peak in the first half of 2007. [circumlocutor]
* We need more troops like you for our War on Christmas: “…they start spilling out of places like Felix and Spy Lounge and Bourbon, stuffed full of mini quiche and well drinks, looking for “The next place to parr-tay, bra!” [Sour N Sweet]
* Metro Police more responsive than DC Police. See? They done something right. [Logan Circle News]
* The Hirshhorn is hiring a Director of Development. If you get the job, tell them to screen some movies or have some parties. Just tell them to stop being the boringest museum ever. [DC Arts Jobs]

Is it possible for one brief message board exchange to explain the entire culture and mindset of the Washington Douchebag? To succinctly illustrate everything about them worth ridiculing? If so, this Late Night Shots dialogue might be the motherlode: MORE »