Tag Archives: acorn

  waterboard cokie now!

A MODERATELY INTERESTING AFFIDAVIT! Boom. It’s a felony on federal grounds, this felony of the ACORN Pimp and the U.S. Attorney’s son, so hopefully they will go to jail forever. And it was in the “Hale Boggs Federal Building” — WHAT DOES COKIE ROBERTS KNOW? WHAT DOES PATTON BOGGS KNOW? HUH? HEHNGNN? WHO IS GETTING $$$$$ =====|)~~~~?? [TPM] Read more on …
  sucker sucker sucker

Best News Of 2010: ACORN Douche-Pimp Arrested For Wiretapping Conspiracy!

FINALLY. The same pasty biotch who did Andrew Breitbart’s bidding to entrap ACORN in some minor prank that would get Congress to immediately revoke its entire funding… which was completely successful… has been arrested by the FBI for TRYING TO WIRETAP A SENATOR’S OFFICE. Cannot wait to hear the conservative spin on this one. (Perhaps he is really a liberal? Let’s just call him a “liberal” from now on…) Read more on Best News Of 2010: ACORN Douche-Pimp Arrested For Wiretapping Conspiracy!…
  a nation mourns

HOLOCAUST MUSEUM SHOOTER DEAD AS HELL: Hooray! James von Brunn, The Maryland Monster and celebrated local Nazi artist who shot and killed a security guard at the Holocaust Museum last year — only four blocks away from a Wonkette commenter! — has now himself died, in the hospital. Cause of death was MAYBE HIS 89 YEARS OF AGE? Either that or the usual form of white person death, an ACORN assassination. [Washington Post] Read more on …
  hooray!

ACORN PAYS OFF JUDGE TO RULE IN ITS FAVOR: Oh look, a hippie Brooklyn judge has found Congress’ greatest legislative move of the year — to cut off all funding to low-income housing organization ACORN after Internet aggregator Andrew Breitbart and a couple of dipshit college Republicans made a wacky, heavily edited prank YouTube — to be a bill of attainder, which is explicitly unconstitutional. Time to pass a bill of attainder against this hippie Brooklyn judge? [NYDN] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

Click Here For Steamy Central Bank Fan Fiction (NSFW)

Leftist vaginaphobia exposed at last! [Hit & Run] 52% of Republicans believe ACORN was the 19th hijacker. [The Plank] Haven’t you always wondered what Mother Earth would look like if she rocked some Saturn ring-bling? Enter the YouTubes and MS Paint: she would look fabulous. [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Click Here For Steamy Central Bank Fan Fiction (NSFW)…
  what the msm won't tell you

Greg Craig Steps Down As White House Counsel, And Only Steve King Knows Why

Friday’s biggest political news item… is something else besides this: snow-topped O-bot Greg Craig has stepped down as White House counsel, following in the footsteps of such previous Great Recent White House Counsels as Alberto Gonzales and Harriet Miers. There has been speculation for months that he might do this. “Everyone” blamed him for bungling the now-delayed Guantanamo closing, because he didn’t prep the dandies in Congress with the steps such an action would require, and they resorted to NIMBYism, which was somehow Greg Craig’s problem. But maybe it was something else? Craig has not given an official reason. Fortunately, Congress’ #1 asshole, Rep. Steve King, has provided one for him: Obama wanted to bring in some ACORN goon instead. Read more on Greg Craig Steps Down As White House Counsel, And Only Steve King Knows Why…
  2009's hobbit-sized election day

Mild Wackiness Breaking Out In NY-23

We all know that the ACORN organization — which has nothing better to do — is actively trying to steal the NY-23 special election from God’s candidate, Doug Hoffman, and give it to a randomly selected black aborted fetus on welfare, so it should come as no surprise that certain “local Democratic officials” (ACORN thugs) are calling the cops on Hoffman supporters outside polling locations for all sorts of ginned-up charges, as part of its ACORN Fear Campaign. Read more on Mild Wackiness Breaking Out In NY-23…
  congressional district of retards

Hoffman Supporters Extremely Worried About ACORN Interference

There is one thing standing between NY-23 “Conservative Party candidate” Doug Hoffman and his rightful election: the ACORN. Hoffman’s supporters know that ACORN — a non-profit that focuses on such things as low-income housing — is working behind the scenes with Obama and his friends, the Africans, to procure a stolen victory for the liberal Democrat candidate, Bill “Al Sharpton” Owens. Read more on Hoffman Supporters Extremely Worried About ACORN Interference…
  our flourishing political system

Republicans Will Just Attach Some ‘Die, ACORN’ Amendment To Every Bill From Now On

Now that the New American Economy’s only path to profitability hinges on major corporations slashing as many salaries as possible, it would be nice of the government to extend unemployment benefits a little longer for starving permanently unemployed people who will probably die soon. (7,000 new ones a day!) A few Dems introduced a simple bill to do just that a few weeks ago. It hasn’t passed, though, because the Republicans attached numerous, unrelated amendments that more or less heckle ACORN and Mexicans for existing in White America. Read more on Republicans Will Just Attach Some ‘Die, ACORN’ Amendment To Every Bill From Now On…
  conservative target #1

Dede Scozzafava Also Molests Children At ACORN Constantly

It’s such fun to watch the wingnuts as they try to wrap their collective mind around the concept of a “moderate Republican” candidate, that endangered species of ancient lore, emerging from the Snowy North. They quickly spurned this GOP candidate, Dede Scozzafava — who from now on shall be referred to as “Scuzzlebutt,” because we’re sick of constantly having to look up the spelling of her last name — in the NY-23 special election in favor of some “neighbor” candidate for the Conservative Party, and their theses of hatred for Scuzzlebutt continue to mount. Read more on Dede Scozzafava Also Molests Children At ACORN Constantly…
  the new sarah palin

Michael Steele Says A Thing Again! This One’s About Loving An ACORN

Michael Steele! It has been a full forty-five minutes since he has last tempted John Boehner to actually murder him. Things are quiet… too quiet. Back on The Streets when things were too quiet, this meant that one of the Street People had to make a move. You can bet your Boston Terrier that Michael Steele has internalized the Street Lessons. John Boehner would be a FOOL if for one second he really believed that Michael Steele considered the GOP’s threats to be hip OR hop, ho ho ho! Manifestly, that sort of arrogance would get him GUN-KILLED back on the Streets! Michael Steele’s hatred of John Boehner is literally the only possible explanation for Steele’s latest thing: publicly announcing how much he loves ACORN’s leader, despite, of course, despising the work that she does and everything she stands for. Read more on Michael Steele Says A Thing Again! This One’s About Loving An ACORN…
  great moments in congressional testimony

Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN

Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won’t do the trick — you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting with, say, the ones where lenders throw trillions of dollars of credit at random hobos without so much as even asking their names. Rep. Michele Bachmann was awarded some valuable questioning time during this taxpayer-funded government meeting, and got right to the heart of the matter: what are you going to do about ACORN, and is there going to be a New Global Currency that we’ll have to use by like tomorrow? Barney Frank and Ben Bernanke take these questions very seriously. [HuffPo, YouTube] Read more on Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN…
  racism

Bobby Jindal Also Cuts Off Non-Existent Funding To Those ACORN Blacks

Poor-people-helping organization ACORN is the single most corrupt group in America, we know this. The Senate and House know this too. Why can’t they just be like a good organization, such as any bank or corporate law firm in the country, which are very respectable employers? ACORN, you may know, is headquartered in New Orleans, where there are many poor people, especially with the spikes in seasonal weather. And yesterday Governor Bobby Jindal made sure that they will have NO CONTRACTS with the state government, which they do not currently, but still, because of their corruption in humoring childish fake pimps in Baltimore. Read more on Bobby Jindal Also Cuts Off Non-Existent Funding To Those ACORN Blacks…
  fiscal conservatism

House Votes To Defund ACORN, Too!

Following the Senate’s lead, the House of Representatives has now voted to defund the few million bucks per year it gives ACORN, which “specializes in social services, housing preservation and foreclosure mitigation,” because of an entrapment video some racists recently filmed. The vote was 345-75, too! Now conservatives will never gin up a reason to complain about ACORN again!…?? Read more on House Votes To Defund ACORN, Too!…
  it's a trap!

The ACORNS Are Being Punished For Caring TOO MUCH About Our Fictional Foreign Child Prostitutes

Two ACORNS were fired from their lucrative voter registration fraud racket after giving advice to hidden camera people who were only pretending to employ underage South American whores. GOTCHA. The rascally videographers are actually conservative activists, and they did not really want to know what sort of tax breaks they could get, or how to best keep their sex business secret from the Feds, or how to properly clean and care for their child hookers. It was simply a Ruse and now ACORN is so busted, for so many things. This was the crucial missing evidence needed to unarguably prove that Barack Obama was elected to the presidency solely with the support of fictional 13-year old El Salvadorian streetwalkers. [CNN] Read more on The ACORNS Are Being Punished For Caring TOO MUCH About Our Fictional Foreign Child Prostitutes…
  humor is a weapon and radicals love weapons

Saul Alinsky Behind Latest Attack On Birthers

You know who was the very first human on the planet to use humor to serious effect? The 20th-century folk hero Saul Alinsky, inventor of community organizing and father of the Quercus genus of shade trees. Before Alinsky, no one ever thought to mock one’s political foes — and after Alinsky, no one ever did again. Read more on Saul Alinsky Behind Latest Attack On Birthers…
  move right along

Bachmann Says ACORN Will Use Census For Internment Camps

Something like that at least; she may have said these things before: “If we look at American history, between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the census bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations, at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into the internment camps.” Ha. We all know that if Michele Bachmann had been in power in the 1940s, she would’ve *loved* the idea of internment camps. [YouTube, Think Progress] Read more on Bachmann Says ACORN Will Use Census For Internment Camps…
  jesse jackson will pay

Vicious Squirrels Dishonor Our Troops By Stealing Cemetery Flags (For ACORN??!?)

Oh noes some “community organizers” from the rodent world have run off with a bunch of cheap little flags that people put in cemeteries, for Freedom, right around Memorial Day. We all knew that squirrels hated America … what we didn’t know was how much. Read more on Vicious Squirrels Dishonor Our Troops By Stealing Cemetery Flags (For ACORN??!?)…
  rumors on the internets

Big John’s From TEXAS, Where Rush Limbaugh And Newt Gingrich Are Criticized Every So Often

After abdicating, benign boner George W. Bush spent his days quietly playing Guitar Hero and landing juice box endorsements. But Jesus had different plans for Archdick Cheney. [Off The Grid] Amber Alert! Thousands of peeling, morbidly obese millionaires have been abducted in Maryland. Consult with your milk carton, leave no yacht barnacle or dead hooker unturned! Oh God please return them safe and untaxed! MY BABIES! [RedState] Read more on Big John’s From TEXAS, Where Rush Limbaugh And Newt Gingrich Are Criticized Every So Often…
  important journalistic wonkette teabagging coverage

Liberal ‘IRONIC’ Hipster ACORNS Nearly Brawl With Local Oaf

We saw this tuxedoed pig-man belting his terrifying song about money outside the White House without knowing, say, what the hell was wrong with him. And then other non-tuxedoed protesters started yelling in his ear and telling him to shut up, so we just assumed that it was a microcosm of the considerably important ideological war between the Insanes and the AstroTurfs. But some lady later informed us that these tuxedoed pigs were “probably” secret ACORN agents, who, if you recall, make up Obama’s personal S.S. “hit squad.” They are employing the liberal tactic of Irony to show that the Tea Parties are just a corporate scam. Whatever. But they do have the cops in their back pocket! [YouTube] Read more on Liberal ‘IRONIC’ Hipster ACORNS Nearly Brawl With Local Oaf…