Tag Archives: acorn

  woodward + bernstein + dildos

James O’Keefe Tries To Get CNN Reporter Onto His Dildo Lube Boat

CNN is doing a documentary on the three or four people who are young American conservative activists, so they decided they would follow around that criminal James O’Keefe, the guy who made those ACORN videos and tried to rape Mary Landrieu’s phones. But you know the one thing they weren’t expecting? They weren’t expecting James O’Keefe to try to lure CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau alone onto a boat filled with dildos and lube and a “condom jar” and “fuzzy handcuffs” and “an obvious sex tape machine,” so this is precisely what he did. Presumably it was to record himself raping her, of course, but O’Keefe says it was just a goof. Huh? Read more on James O’Keefe Tries To Get CNN Reporter Onto His Dildo Lube Boat…
  women must lose to become winners

Today’s Most Popular Democrat Is Not Barack Obama

The statistics whizzes at Public Policy Polling called up almost 600 Ameritards to ask them who was the coolest among these five individuals — Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or Joe Biden. Everyone said, “Joe Biden, cuz he’s rad.” OK, OK, no they didn’t, because Biden is never allowed to win anything. Read more on Today’s Most Popular Democrat Is Not Barack Obama…
  rumors on the internet

ACORN Will Return With the Aztecs and Mitt Romney In 2012

Oh you thought ACORN went away forever? You are an April Fool because ACORN is just “reinventing” itself and when its good and ready it’ll resurrect and freak everyone out, just as Jesus once did. [RedState] Read more on ACORN Will Return With the Aztecs and Mitt Romney In 2012…
  acorn rising

Nobama’s Evil Plan Photographed In Dallas

Wonkette operative “Brian P.” emails this important dispatch from Texas: “I’m sending this to let you know the Final Solution is proceeding according to plan in Dallas, Texas. It’s all happening!” ACORN has not been vanquished by Patriots at all! It’s now the official pharmacy of Obamacare! Read more on Nobama’s Evil Plan Photographed In Dallas…
  so much for 'acorn'

ACORN Destroyed, To Splinter Off Into More Evil Local Groups

This will make sure wingnuts never complain about ACORN, or anything ACORN-ish, ever again! Specifically, ACORN has been more or less destroyed, and now state and local affiliates will go off ‘n’ do their own thing — get that MOJO back! — just like the Western Pioneers of lore. Read more on ACORN Destroyed, To Splinter Off Into More Evil Local Groups…
  thrown under the bus!

ACORN Pimp Won’t Headline Salt Lake County GOP Fundraiser

Salt Lake County Republicans have cravenly thrown ACORN pimp James O’Keefe under the bus following his arrest on federal charges of hanky-panky. These folks were going to have him deliver the keynote address at their annual Lincoln Day fundraiser, but now they have let a dumb little felony accusation get in the way! Maybe their replacement speaker can be Ted Stevens or Gordon Liddy or some other Republican who has gone that extra mile and become an officially convicted felon. Read more on ACORN Pimp Won’t Headline Salt Lake County GOP Fundraiser…
  waterboard cokie now!

A MODERATELY INTERESTING AFFIDAVIT! Boom. It’s a felony on federal grounds, this felony of the ACORN Pimp and the U.S. Attorney’s son, so hopefully they will go to jail forever. And it was in the “Hale Boggs Federal Building” — WHAT DOES COKIE ROBERTS KNOW? WHAT DOES PATTON BOGGS KNOW? HUH? HEHNGNN? WHO IS GETTING $$$$$ =====|)~~~~?? [TPM] Read more on …
  sucker sucker sucker

Best News Of 2010: ACORN Douche-Pimp Arrested For Wiretapping Conspiracy!

FINALLY. The same pasty biotch who did Andrew Breitbart’s bidding to entrap ACORN in some minor prank that would get Congress to immediately revoke its entire funding… which was completely successful… has been arrested by the FBI for TRYING TO WIRETAP A SENATOR’S OFFICE. Cannot wait to hear the conservative spin on this one. (Perhaps he is really a liberal? Let’s just call him a “liberal” from now on…) Read more on Best News Of 2010: ACORN Douche-Pimp Arrested For Wiretapping Conspiracy!…
  a nation mourns

HOLOCAUST MUSEUM SHOOTER DEAD AS HELL: Hooray! James von Brunn, The Maryland Monster and celebrated local Nazi artist who shot and killed a security guard at the Holocaust Museum last year — only four blocks away from a Wonkette commenter! — has now himself died, in the hospital. Cause of death was MAYBE HIS 89 YEARS OF AGE? Either that or the usual form of white person death, an ACORN assassination. [Washington Post] Read more on …
  hooray!

ACORN PAYS OFF JUDGE TO RULE IN ITS FAVOR: Oh look, a hippie Brooklyn judge has found Congress’ greatest legislative move of the year — to cut off all funding to low-income housing organization ACORN after Internet aggregator Andrew Breitbart and a couple of dipshit college Republicans made a wacky, heavily edited prank YouTube — to be a bill of attainder, which is explicitly unconstitutional. Time to pass a bill of attainder against this hippie Brooklyn judge? [NYDN] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

Click Here For Steamy Central Bank Fan Fiction (NSFW)

Leftist vaginaphobia exposed at last! [Hit & Run] 52% of Republicans believe ACORN was the 19th hijacker. [The Plank] Haven’t you always wondered what Mother Earth would look like if she rocked some Saturn ring-bling? Enter the YouTubes and MS Paint: she would look fabulous. [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Click Here For Steamy Central Bank Fan Fiction (NSFW)…
  what the msm won't tell you

Greg Craig Steps Down As White House Counsel, And Only Steve King Knows Why

Friday’s biggest political news item… is something else besides this: snow-topped O-bot Greg Craig has stepped down as White House counsel, following in the footsteps of such previous Great Recent White House Counsels as Alberto Gonzales and Harriet Miers. There has been speculation for months that he might do this. “Everyone” blamed him for bungling the now-delayed Guantanamo closing, because he didn’t prep the dandies in Congress with the steps such an action would require, and they resorted to NIMBYism, which was somehow Greg Craig’s problem. But maybe it was something else? Craig has not given an official reason. Fortunately, Congress’ #1 asshole, Rep. Steve King, has provided one for him: Obama wanted to bring in some ACORN goon instead. Read more on Greg Craig Steps Down As White House Counsel, And Only Steve King Knows Why…