We all know that the ACORN organization — which has nothing better to do — is actively trying to steal the NY-23 special election from God’s candidate, Doug Hoffman, and give it to a randomly selected black aborted fetus on welfare, so it should come as no surprise that certain “local Democratic officials” (ACORN thugs) are calling the cops on Hoffman supporters outside polling locations for all sorts of ginned-up charges, as part of its ACORN Fear Campaign. MORE »

There is one thing standing between NY-23 “Conservative Party candidate” Doug Hoffman and his rightful election: the ACORN. Hoffman’s supporters know that ACORN — a non-profit that focuses on such things as low-income housing — is working behind the scenes with Obama and his friends, the Africans, to procure a stolen victory for the liberal Democrat candidate, Bill “Al Sharpton” Owens. MORE »

Now that the New American Economy’s only path to profitability hinges on major corporations slashing as many salaries as possible, it would be nice of the government to extend unemployment benefits a little longer for starving permanently unemployed people who will probably die soon. (7,000 new ones a day!) A few Dems introduced a simple bill to do just that a few weeks ago. It hasn’t passed, though, because the Republicans attached numerous, unrelated amendments that more or less heckle ACORN and Mexicans for existing in White America. MORE »

It’s such fun to watch the wingnuts as they try to wrap their collective mind around the concept of a “moderate Republican” candidate, that endangered species of ancient lore, emerging from the Snowy North. They quickly spurned this GOP candidate, Dede Scozzafava — who from now on shall be referred to as “Scuzzlebutt,” because we’re sick of constantly having to look up the spelling of her last name — in the NY-23 special election in favor of some “neighbor” candidate for the Conservative Party, and their theses of hatred for Scuzzlebutt continue to mount. MORE »

Michael Steele! It has been a full forty-five minutes since he has last tempted John Boehner to actually murder him. Things are quiet… too quiet. Back on The Streets when things were too quiet, this meant that one of the Street People had to make a move. You can bet your Boston Terrier that Michael Steele has internalized the Street Lessons. John Boehner would be a FOOL if for one second he really believed that Michael Steele considered the GOP’s threats to be hip OR hop, ho ho ho! Manifestly, that sort of arrogance would get him GUN-KILLED back on the Streets! Michael Steele’s hatred of John Boehner is literally the only possible explanation for Steele’s latest thing: publicly announcing how much he loves ACORN’s leader, despite, of course, despising the work that she does and everything she stands for. MORE »

Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won’t do the trick — you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting with, say, the ones where lenders throw trillions of dollars of credit at random hobos without so much as even asking their names. Rep. Michele Bachmann was awarded some valuable questioning time during this taxpayer-funded government meeting, and got right to the heart of the matter: what are you going to do about ACORN, and is there going to be a New Global Currency that we’ll have to use by like tomorrow? Barney Frank and Ben Bernanke take these questions very seriously. [HuffPo, YouTube]

Poor-people-helping organization ACORN is the single most corrupt group in America, we know this. The Senate and House know this too. Why can’t they just be like a good organization, such as any bank or corporate law firm in the country, which are very respectable employers? ACORN, you may know, is headquartered in New Orleans, where there are many poor people, especially with the spikes in seasonal weather. And yesterday Governor Bobby Jindal made sure that they will have NO CONTRACTS with the state government, which they do not currently, but still, because of their corruption in humoring childish fake pimps in Baltimore. MORE »

Following the Senate’s lead, the House of Representatives has now voted to defund the few million bucks per year it gives ACORN, which “specializes in social services, housing preservation and foreclosure mitigation,” because of an entrapment video some racists recently filmed. The vote was 345-75, too! Now conservatives will never gin up a reason to complain about ACORN again!…?? MORE »

Two ACORNS were fired from their lucrative voter registration fraud racket after giving advice to hidden camera people who were only pretending to employ underage South American whores. GOTCHA. The rascally videographers are actually conservative activists, and they did not really want to know what sort of tax breaks they could get, or how to best keep their sex business secret from the Feds, or how to properly clean and care for their child hookers. It was simply a Ruse and now ACORN is so busted, for so many things. This was the crucial missing evidence needed to unarguably prove that Barack Obama was elected to the presidency solely with the support of fictional 13-year old El Salvadorian streetwalkers. [CNN]

You know who was the very first human on the planet to use humor to serious effect? The 20th-century folk hero Saul Alinsky, inventor of community organizing and father of the Quercus genus of shade trees. Before Alinsky, no one ever thought to mock one’s political foes — and after Alinsky, no one ever did again. MORE »

Something like that at least; she may have said these things before: “If we look at American history, between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the census bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations, at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into the internment camps.” Ha. We all know that if Michele Bachmann had been in power in the 1940s, she would’ve *loved* the idea of internment camps. [YouTube, Think Progress]