Paging ‘The Onion’
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
All right, we’re taking the rest of the day off. NEWS CAN MAKE FUN OF ITSELF, THANK YOU. MORE »
All right, we’re taking the rest of the day off. NEWS CAN MAKE FUN OF ITSELF, THANK YOU. MORE »
• Bush defends eavesdropping program but offers no details: “This is a different era, a different war.” [WP, WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
• House approves $39.7b in cuts and drilling of ANWR; showdown expected in the Senate. Sen. Kerry: “Let’s be very clear about what’s happening here. Republicans — Senator Stevens in particular — are putting oil companies ahead of our troops.” [WP, WP, WP, NYT, USAT, LAT]
• Approval of Bush rebounds to 47% in WP-ABC poll: “His approval rating on Iraq jumped 10 percentage points since early November, to 46 percent, while his rating on the economy rose 11 points, to 47 percent. A clear majority, 56 percent, said they approve of the way Bush is handling the fight against terrorism.” [WP]
• Bush ” apparently decided that a passionate offense was his best defense”; his mood “was casual and crisp.” [WP]
• ACLU claims the FBI has wrongly monitored antiwar, environmental, and civil rights groups; FBI used secret informants to track PETA for years. [NYT, WP]
• Sen. Rockefeller penned hand-written note to Cheney about civil liberties concerns over eavesdropping. [WP]
• Force reductions expected in Iraq, Afghanistan. [WP, NYT]
• Supreme Court agrees to review Texas redistricting; Justices may want to impose new guidelines. [WP, LAT, NYT, WSJ, USAT]
• Bush says 30,000 Iraqis have died in the war. Bush: “Knowing what I know today, I’d make the decision again. . . The long run in this war is going to require a change in governments in parts of the world.” [WP, NYT, USAT, WT]
• Bush is “confident” that a deal can be reached with Sen. McCain (R-Ariz.) regarding the treatment of detainees. [NYT]
• Bush says race was not a determining factor in the government’s response to Katrina. [NYT]
• Federal budget deficit hit a record-high for November, up 43% from last year. [WSJ]
We would probably drop our inquiry into the personality and background of Son-of-Sam Alito, Phil, were it not so clear that he’s a very cool dude. Is that okay, right-wing blog police? We’re so not calling him gay (though that would make him cooler). His Facebook entry (click to enlarge) suggests a straight (girlfriend!) Simpson’s fan who doesn’t like his picture taken. More to the point, as one reader discovered, his Facebook pals include two students who joined with the ACLU to fight for the right to publish an article about sex in their high school paper. Were they allowed to come to dinner? MORE »
Today, the Southern New York District Court of Appeals is slated to hear government arguments in favor of barring the release of 87 photos and four videotapes depicting detainee abuse by U.S. military forces at Abu Ghraib prison. And over the weekend, unsealed court documents relating to the ACLU’s suit seeking release of the images revealed that Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Richard Myers opposes their release because they may incite riots in the Middle East, much as Newsweek’s earlier reports of Quran defilements at Guantanamo Bay did. Funny thing, this, because back in May, Myers explicitly denied any connection between Afghani riots in Jalalabad and the Newsweek report. So, to review: We must suppress damaging information about the war effort because we run the risk of repeating a mistake that we never made in the first place. Insert preferred WMD joke here. MORE »