Wonkette

ACLU, get A CLUE! Wonkette’s Person of the Year 2007, Larry Craig, is getting a little support from those pissy ACLU lawyers. They filed a brief Tuesday arguing that people fucking in public bathrooms have an expectation of privacy. Maybe this is some creative way for the ACLU to keep this story in the press and assume the homosexuality of Larry Craig, or maybe Larry Craig just offered to buy and sell the ACLU’s ass a thousand times over. [AP/Google]

Conservative thingy WorldNetDaily.com is launching the anti-War on Christmas extra early this year, lest “the American Civil Liberties Union grinches” kidnap and neuter Santa Claus while his minions aren’t watching. Its website hosts an exclusive store for atheist-repelling paraphernalia. Among the items are a magnetic bumper sticker, a magnetic bumper sticker, an “auto magnet,” a magnetic bumper sticker, a Jesus bracelet and a magnetic bumper sticker. Those are all of the items, in fact, but inflatable green-and-red Bill O’Reilly fuckdolls should be available November 1. Because if they aren’t, Jesus will be retroactively unborn.

Christmas-defense kit [WorldNetDaily]

Now that a Minnesota judge has put the smackdown on Sen. Larry Craig and his lame plea reversal to charges of bathroom butt hunting, let’s look at the details: The 27-page court order visits the officer’s original report (I saw his blue eyes peeping into my stall!), Craig’s abusive, demeaning language (Fuck you, pigs, I’m innocent! He solicited me!) and more about his swishy handjive (What was he attempting actually…a reach around? A reach under?). Anyway, at the very end off the court order, the ACLU weighs in and says the conviction should be void (phew!). Then they turn around and throw Craig under the bus, citing some random court decision. Apparently people who have consensual sex in public bathrooms have a reasonable expectation of privacy? Awesome.

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“It is a crime to have sex in public. It is not a crime to propose or solicit sex in public, whether it’s in a bar or in a bathroom.” [ABC News]

Did you know that wearing a t-shirt with arabic writing to an airport is the equivalent of a “”person wearing a t-shirt at a bank stating, ‘I am a robber’”? No? Then you clearly don’t work with the TSA, who barred Reed Jarrar over there from boarding his flight at JFK because his shirt had terrifying non-Roman characters on it. MORE »

* The waiting is over, Mitt Romney is now officially “Satan.” [Wizbang Politics]
* Gay inmates in California are hoping the ACLU can get them conjugal visit rights, uh, lickity split. [SFGate]
* Getting a picture with the president is cheaper than ever, but still worthless. [Newsweek]
* Army’s elite “graffiti corps” created for the express purpose of sending Neck Face and Borf to Iraq. [Passport]
* New Republic editors are porn stars on the weekend. [TNR]
* OH NOEZ, this is Intern Nick’s last day! Tell him good-bye in the comments, and NEVEH FOGET! [NM.com]

* SD Democratic Senator Tim Johnson is in critical condition following emergency brain surgery. Everybody pray panic. [WP
* It was Pentagon day in President Bush's whirlwind "gimmie advice" tour, with the Joint Chiefs backing the "train 'em, don't fight 'em" plan for Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Nancy Pelosi to satiate Democrats’ lust for overseeing things by announcing creation of a new intelligence spending panel. [WSJ]
* Also, war funding will be made part of the regular budget. [NYT]
* The lone Republican ray of hope: ‘08 hopefuls have reputations independent of “boat anchor” Bush. [WSJ]
* All you gotta know about Charlie Rangel is, “he’s awesome!” [WP]
* The 2006 Midterms put Tom DeLay “in the grave with dirt on top of him.” [WP]
* Subpoena issued for the ACLU to return a memo with information “mildly embarrassing” to the government. [WP, NYT]

• Mark Warner gives up his presidential run. Why? Warner says, “I’m going to dodge those questions.” [WP, NYT]

• Republicans place North Korean nukes on the “Clinton’s fault” list, Democrats mention last 6 years. [WSJ]
• Panel questions capability of Iraqi leadership, will tell you the other things they question after the election. [WP]
• Republicans won’t “stay the course” with hopeless candidates, plan to “cut and run,” redistribute funding to closer races. [WP]
• Senate investigators release report re-confirming the Abramoff/non-profit payola brouhaha. [WP, NYT]
• Bush stumps for Hastert in Illinois, refers to him as, “the future speaker of the House.” [WP, NYT]
• Proof nothing was learned from the ’60s: ACLU is horrified to learn the Government monitors anti-war groups, sometimes calling them potential terrorist organizations. [NYT]
• Muhammad Yunus, Bangladeshi economist who pioneered micro-credit loans, wins the Nobel peace price. Bono continues hanging out with President Bush for some reason. [WP]

• Tehran is ready to negotiate with the UN on a range of issues not named “uranium enrichment.” [WP, NYT, BBC]

• Poll shows most Americans are still plenty scared of Bin Laden. [CNN]
• Marines to begin recalling reserves to active duty, as recruitment goals fall short. [LAT]
• Aid money flowing to Lebanon having a hard time finding relief agencies other than Hezbollah. [NYT]
• Israel halts withdraw from West Bank settlements as Lebanon becomes focus of government apparently incapable of multitasking. [WP]
• Senator Hillary Clinton is dithering on a AIDS funding bill — either to get more cash for New York or to make herself look good in the south. [WP]
• Americans tired of Iraq, want to go home. [NYT]
• Richard Armitage, number two at the State Department, met with Bob Woodward around the time Bob Woodward says he learned Valerie Plame’s identity and top secret job. [NYT]
• Anna Taylor Diggs, the federal judge who ruled against Bush and his NSA warrantless wiretapping, is a card-carrying member of the ACLU. [NYT]
• More states adding online “meth registries” to help connect redneck speed freaks. [USAT]

• Michelle Malkin’s “Hezbollah is not my problem” syndicated column begins today. [Michelle Malkin]

• Red State honors Bush, tsks Frist: “Mr. Frist has shown us exactly the kind of leader he is–one absolutely willing to throw the leader of his party and his pro-life supporters under the bus for the support of the pharmaceutical lobby.” [Red State]
• The Angry Fag: “But if these sex offenders are so dangerous to require registries, notifications, electronic monitoring and other such things why are they being let out of prison at all? [The Angry Fag]
• “Without any kind of court verdict in regards to legality on the NSA surveillance program, the ACLU continue to stomp their feet, consistently labelling it as ‘illegal’ when there has been no official ruling of any kind.” [Stop The ACLU]

All right, we’re taking the rest of the day off. NEWS CAN MAKE FUN OF ITSELF, THANK YOU. MORE »

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• Bush defends eavesdropping program but offers no details: “This is a different era, a different war.” [WP, WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
• House approves $39.7b in cuts and drilling of ANWR; showdown expected in the Senate. Sen. Kerry: “Let’s be very clear about what’s happening here. Republicans — Senator Stevens in particular — are putting oil companies ahead of our troops.” [WP, WP, WP, NYT, USAT, LAT]
• Approval of Bush rebounds to 47% in WP-ABC poll: “His approval rating on Iraq jumped 10 percentage points since early November, to 46 percent, while his rating on the economy rose 11 points, to 47 percent. A clear majority, 56 percent, said they approve of the way Bush is handling the fight against terrorism.” [WP]
• Bush ” apparently decided that a passionate offense was his best defense”; his mood “was casual and crisp.” [WP]
• ACLU claims the FBI has wrongly monitored antiwar, environmental, and civil rights groups; FBI used secret informants to track PETA for years. [NYT, WP]
• Sen. Rockefeller penned hand-written note to Cheney about civil liberties concerns over eavesdropping. [WP]
• Force reductions expected in Iraq, Afghanistan. [WP, NYT]

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