The Capitol was shut down for an hour today (we would’ve put the siren out, but we were watching Allen and Warner Webb [goddam are we out of it this morning] on Meet the Press — because no, we aren’t waking up early on Sunday to see George Wallace Lite argue with John Knox, Jr.) because, uh, someone ran a car into the barricade and walked in. Yeah, just some guy. Good to know security at the Capitol is still top-notch — you know this shit wouldn’t go down at the White House. MORE »

• Bush still kicking himself for not standing in the Katrina rubble with a bullhorn. [NYT]

• On anniversary of Katrina, Gulf Coast to receive massive influx of administration officials touting successful reconstruction efforts, “despite visual evidence suggesting otherwise.” [NYT]
• Plane crash in Kentucky is first domestic jet accident since November 2001, kills 49. [NYT, USAT]
• Abortion ban showdown comes to South Dakota, November vote could institute strictest laws in country. [WP]
• Osama bin Laden never actually charged with 9/11 crimes because of, “the need to be fair to any defendant.” [WP]
• Baghdad morgue only received 450 bodies this month, down from 1800 last month, Iraqi Prime Minister: ” What you see is an atmosphere of reconciliation.” [LAT]
• Spending on campaign ads up 45% from 2004 level as candidates and consultants discover cable TV. [W$J]
• “Ernesto” is first hurricane of the season, batters impoverished Caribbean nations on way to Florida. [USAT]
• Sad schism between real and fantasy worlds highlighted as “24″ and “The Office” take top Emmy awards. [LAT]

Dead horse, we know, but even after a couple weeks, this is still hysterical.

“Headed to the capitol to make a vote.” Still in the top-ten excuses list, easy. Patrick Kennedy, recovering drug addict and binge drinking congressman, we salute you. MORE »

Patrick Kennedy reads aloud from ‘A Million Little Pieces’ MORE »

Airborne flaming car? Awesome.
Choice of accompanying graphic? Confusing. MORE »

* Newark, New Jersey, edges out D.C. for title of “American City Most Resembling a Demoliton Derby.” [AP ] MORE »

* CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be. MORE »

So, uh, now we feel a little bit bad. ‘Cause, we were just having a bit of fun, you know, and considering that the two options available for Patrick Kennedy’s weird behavior were either a) plain ol’ Kennedy-approved alcohol and b) hilarious drug mix-up, we thought, well, no harm. MORE »

If you’ve ever ventured into the seamier sides of the Internet, you know there are plenty of websites devoted to detailing quasi-legal behavior, including prescription drug experimentation. On one of those sites, we found this comment, reprinted here. If you’ll recall, Kennedy’s excuse for the accident was taking Phenergan in combination with Ambien. He’s not the first to mix that particular cocktail: MORE »

Representative Kennedy was, according to his own statement, hopped up on goofballs at the time of his early-morning car wreck yesterday. The ol’ Ambien defense, ya see. Which we believe is the same excuse used by John Kerry to justify his vote for the war resolution. But the Boston Herald might’ve hurt that alibi a bit: MORE »

BREAKING: IT WAS THE AMBIEN! AND THE TUMMY ACHE! SLEEP-DRIVING JUST LIKE YOU READ ABOUT IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!! MORE »