Tag: abuse

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America’s Best Husband Bill O’Reilly Sues Faithless Cheating Monster Of An Ex-Wife

America's top moral scold, Bill O'Reilly, is suing his ex-wife for $10 million, claiming she fraudulently misled the poor heartbroken teevee shouter into signing a separation agreement while she was boinking someone that was not Bill O'Reilly. It's just...
Now grab the back of your TV set...

Pervy Nonagenarian Televangelist Did … Oh Jesus Christ

It's been a while since we've heard from the faith-healing ministry leader and televangelist Ernest Angley, who was also the the real-life inspiration for Robin Williams's classic "Reverend Earnest Angry." Until 35 years later, when Monday we read that Rev....

Florida Woman In ‘Stand Your Ground’ Retrial Faces Late-Term Abortion Of Justice, Also 60 Years

Straight from our "You have GOT to be fucking kidding me" desk: Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing three warning shots into the wall of her home while escaping from her (allegedly)...

Republicans Wasting $14 Million On IRS Non-Scandal Investigation. Food Stamps Still Being Cut.

Hey look! It’s another day, so let’s talk more about the IRS non-scandal, because apparently there is no end to the Republican appetite for self-embarrassment. As we all know, there has been absolutely no evidence of wrongdoing by the...

Ted Cruz’s Guide To Unmake Friends And Alienate People, Part Infinity

Ok wonkeroos, we need to talk about a serious subject that is threatening far too many of our most vulnerable citizens: bullying and abuse. While we like to snark and mock, we, as a country, should be doing everything...

N.H. State Rep. Has Refreshingly Non-Judgmental Views On Wife Beating, ‘Cause Some People Are Into That, He Guesses

Hey, kids, looks like another candidate has tossed his asshat into the ring for our Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year contest! The newest contendah is New Hampshire state Rep. Mark Warden (R-Fuck This Guy), who was one of four...

Wisconsin State Rep: Abused Wives Should Remember What They Loved About Their Husbands in the First Place

Oh, Wisconsin, baby, what happened to us? Don't you remember when it used to be so sweet? It was Laverne & Shirley, and Donna Shalala at Madison, and ... hell, sweetheart, why can't I remember any more? It's a...

Paul Babeu Allegedly Slept With Student At Reeducation Camp He Ran

Every inhabitant in the entire solar system and possibly as far away as the alternate universe where Rick Santorum becomes the American president has now heard the story about wingnut Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu trying to deport his secret...

Former Missouri House Speaker (R) Beats Up, Chokes Mistress During Sex [UPDATE]

In an incident in which the perpetrator should have considered that he would become a household name on Wonkette before going through with it, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton is facing assault charges for allegedly beating the shit...

Biden’s Hometown Is Living Hell For Exchange Students

Good Lord. When Joe Biden talks about growing up in Scranton with all its hardscrabble charms, is he referring to its feces-scented apartments full of food-hoarding ex-cons or its large population of grifters who parasitize the child welfare system? An...

Tom Tancredo African-Chopper Will Not Be Attending Law School This Fall

Marcus "Black-Chop" Epstein (someone come up with a better nickname!), seen here with drunk popinjay Christopher Hitchens at one of Reason magazine's monthly medieval blood orgies, will not enroll at UVA law school this fall, according to the university's...

Check Out Today’s Great Comedy Article In The Washington Post!

YOU SCOOPED US, WASHINGTON POST. We thought the same thing today! When Barack Obama reversed his decision to release photographic evidence of authorized-from-the-top, brutal, illegal detainee abuse that would have compelled the DoJ to prosecute people for crimes (MUST...

Old FEMA Coot Beats Up Guy With Golf Club, In Iowa

So Iowa is underwater forever, and to the nation's shock, FEMA has sent out emergency response teams -- to help! This is only the second time in world history that FEMA has helped anyone, the other being the time...