abraham lincoln
Exciting New Ohio Ad: Republicans Are The Ones Who Love You, Black Dummies!
This ad, playing in Ohio, rests its case! Barack Obama will not bring you wealth and prosperity (except for how he will totally mandate reparations, but shhhh), and Lincoln freed the slaves. That one guy, the one talking before the stock photo couple, he is totally convincing with his Mormonish “revelations.” (Sorry we are reading [...]
Is This Schlubby Bank Robber The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln?
The FBI Houston Division is on the hunt! A bandit has cleaned out the vault at a Wells Fargo bank and escaped on horseback — some say up to Cheyenne Town, others say out Callyforney-way. Who is this rogue, bringing his most unseemly disposition to the local financiers of Houston City? Could he be… the [...]
Celebrate Presidents Day With These Inaccurate Androids
Every year on this holy day, we all gather around the YouTube to enjoy the greatest presidential moments in American History, such as these guys screwing around with the Animatronic Presidents at the Disney World. Oh look, here’s Lincoln half-heartedly freeing the slaves after the Civil War already started. Those are his morals collapsing, right [...]
Bill O’Reilly’s Dumb Lincoln Book Banned By National Park Service
When you go to a national park or historic site or whatever, there’s always a gift shop with appropriate gift items. Ford’s Theatre in Washington, where a prancing confederate teabagger actor killed America’s greatest Civil War president, has just such a gift store. You could buy an Abraham Lincoln plush, we imagine, or maybe a [...]
The Devil Is In the Cartoon Details
By the Comics CurmudgeonYour cartoon correspondent has been looking at cartoons for Wonkette since roughly the Revolutionary War, during which time political cartoons haven’t changed much. You’d think that a man would burn out seeing endless weeping Statues of Liberty and fat generic Congressmen and “funny” Bush/Obama drawings with big ears. And you’d be right! [...]
Party of Lincoln, Party of Reagan, Party of Furries
America’s greatest new blog journalist, the Boston Globe‘s Garrett Quinn, sends this Perfect Photograph from this weekend’s Massachusetts GOP convention. How do we know that’s not Scott Brown in the middle, hiding from Sarah Palin? First, he is not naked. Second, Scott Brown’s fur is on his own skin.
Shadow Army Of Liberal Nerds Will Destroy America!
Are you FRIGHTENED yet, citizens? Abraham Lincoln would not have cared for this at all, these sinister libtards “working in the shadows” of the publicly available Internet. Abraham Lincoln would be crying like an eagle. [via Matt Yglesias]
WAPO EKES 729-WORD ARTICLE OUT OF 43-WORD NOTE FROM LINCOLN: “Did it fall out in transit? Was it torn out by a mischievous clerk 100 years ago? No one knows.” Blah blah blah Lincoln Lincoln Lincoln. [Washington Post]
At Long Last, Lincoln’s Hair on Display, For America
Okay, so it’s been there for a few weeks, but Abraham Lincoln: Final Casualty of War is still one of the creepiest museum offerings around. The National Museum of Health and Medicine’s exhibit provides an anatomical look inside Lincoln on his last living day — there is the lock of hair, plus bits of his [...]
Our Greatest President Had a Summer Home in Crawford DC
Fearing the tourist mobs on the Mall but needing a national monument fix? Head to the mysterious land of Petworth, home to Abraham Lincoln’s famous Washington cottage!
Old Liberal Plot To Discredit George Washington’s Birthday Angers One Guy On Internet
Did you know that according to THE LAW, this holiday is simply called “Washington’s Birthday” and not “President’s Day,” as the mattress stores and car dealers have taught you to believe. According to one person on the Internet, the misconception — like most misconceptions, as well as abortion — stems from some liberals getting together [...]
George W. Bush Not Our Worst President!
On this very boring news day, let us rejoice that we have the fake birthday of George Washington to celebrate. Ken has already wrung two (2) posts out of this blessed shopping holiday, and (SPOILER ALERT) you may have another one coming in a few hours! So let’s take this occasion to look at an [...]
Abe Lincoln’s Sexy Cousin Holds His Wood
Oh look it’s “Babe-raham Lincolon.” She is a cheerleader for the New Jersey Nets, a terrible basketball team. And she’s the actual descendant cousin of old what’s his name, the guy who wouldn’t take the Commerce Secretary job, who was born 200 years ago yesterday on the HMS Beagle. Here is Bonnie Lincoln on some [...]
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