Tag Archives: abortion

  Rarely Is It Asked: Is Our State Legislators Learning?

SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?

He has a gun, let's vote for him!
South Carolina state Rep. Jonathon Hill is just an inquisitive guy who wants to be well-informed about state judicial candidates. That’s the only reason he sent a questionnaire just crawling with completely unconstitutional questions to candidates for judgeships. In South Carolina, judges are elected by state legislators, so Hill, a bright young conservative who is 29 years old, thought he’d look into some important questions to help him decide who belongs on the bench. Here are a few things he wanted to know: Read more on SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?…
  Another great moment in GOP outreach

Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With ‘Our Republican Females’

Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, one of spittiest ragemonkeys the GOP has to offer, is feeling lots of upset feelings this week, and it is because House Republicans were forced to cancel a vote on their 20-week abortion ban bill that was scheduled to coincide with the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Read more on Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With ‘Our Republican Females’…
 

Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal

The United States House of Representatives, man, what a place. When they’re not quoting the Bible to piss on climate change or trying to gut Social Security or voting for the 407th time to REPEAL OBAMACARE or fellating their corporate benefactors or holding their collective breath until the usurper resigns in disgrace or gets tried for treason, whichever, they’re voting to make already-illegal taxpayer-funded abortions even more super-duper illegal, because they really, really want all you ambulating vaginas out there to get to babymakin’, for God and country. Read more on Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal…
  From the "legitimate rape" desk

Lindsey Graham Finding It Difficult To Separate Good Girls From Lying Sluts, Would Appreciate Suggestions

and unfortunately I vote
Senator Lindsey Graham (R-please just stop) spoke Thursday at the annual March for Life Rally/Recycled Offensive Placard Emporium about the House GOP’s failure to get their act together enough to pass H.R. 36, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act. As you will recall, GOP congressladies objected to the truly obnoxious rape exception in the bill, which would have allowed abortions in cases of rape IF and ONLY IF the rape was reported to the police. On the basis of their objections, Republican House leaders canceled the scheduled vote. Read more on Lindsey Graham Finding It Difficult To Separate Good Girls From Lying Sluts, Would Appreciate Suggestions…
  your tax dollars at work

House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)

Just lay back and think about the savings
Republicans love tradition, and that is why on Thursday, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (haha, take that, ladies!), the House held its traditional vote for the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act, which they introduce every single congressional session, because tradition! Read more on House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)…
  But don't worry they will keep trying to ban abortion in all of the ways

House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh

do we need to go back to THIS?
Today is the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which is one of those Supreme Court decisions that you totally know about! In Roe, the Court held that ladies have a constitutional right to have an abortion up until fetal viability, or roughly 24 or 25 weeks of pregnancy, so if you are a pregnant lady and you have been pregnant for fewer than 24 weeks, you may choose to stop being pregnant, and that is your constitutional right. Read more on House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh…
  Yes we're still talking about this

GOP Congressladies Would Like To Stop Talking About Legitimate Rape Please

but the Republican Congressladies aren't on board any more
On Thursday, which happens to be the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade — what a coincidence! — the House will vote on H.R. 36, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, a bill that would ban all abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, except when the life of the woman is physically at risk, or in cases of rape or incest where the woman has reported the rape or incest to the police or another appropriate government agency. Just to be clear, Republicans are still making a distinction between “crime rape” where a stranger rapes you and you go to the police (that kind of rape is “legitimate” rape, and so we suppose you should be allowed to have an abortion), and partner or marital rape, where you might go the police, but you might not, because it’s complicated (that kind of rape is way less legitimate, and probably it wasn’t even rape, and it should not qualify you for an abortion, because you are probably just lying that your boyfriend raped you, and that’s why you didn’t call the police). Read more on GOP Congressladies Would Like To Stop Talking About Legitimate Rape Please…
  In Derpiest Battle

Sundays With The Christianists: John Steinbeck Invented ‘Bortion, Wrote Evil Books

A movie about a temptress, we guess
Now here’s a surprise: a rightwing Christian rant against John Steinbeck that barely mentions The Grapes of Wrath at all. If nothing else, we can credit wingnut radio preacher and homeschooling “expert” Kevin Swanson with this much: He’s not always predictable. Or at least, while his opinions are completely predictable, the particular topics he chooses to obsess about aren’t necessarily what you’d expect. We’ve reached the end of the literature survey portion of Swanson’s ebook manifesto, Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, although he still has a couple of chapters on modern popular culture for us to slog through in his screed about the decline of Western civilization from a nonexistent Christian norm. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: John Steinbeck Invented ‘Bortion, Wrote Evil Books…
  Yes please go on strike forever

Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King

At a March for
Since harassing women outside abortion clinics and sometimes bombing them and murdering doctors hasn’t worked, anti-choicers have a new strategy: strike! Project Defending Life is linking arms of solidarity with another “pro-life” organization, Operation Rescue (obligatory reminder: its senior policy adviser is an actual terrorist, you’re welcome) to tell everyone who loves the unborned babies to stay home in dishonor of the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and don’t buy nothing, and also maybe they will have a sit-in at the Abortionplex lunch counter too? (Hint: Avoid the veal.) Read more on Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King…
  Cool science fiction bros

North Dakota: You Don’t Even Need Ladies To Bake A Baby, So Time To Outlaw Abortion Again

Sure, it is legal to have abortions in these United States of Jesus, but that’s just, like, your opinion, man. (Also the law, but whatevs.) In the never-ending quest to un-legalize it, North Dakota “lawyers” have a swell new argument for freedom-forcing women to be incubators. And it’s a really good one: Read more on North Dakota: You Don’t Even Need Ladies To Bake A Baby, So Time To Outlaw Abortion Again…
  They're Doing Science And We're Still Alive

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate

We'd watch this, actually
It’s a great day to not believe in science, America! Sen. John Thune, chair of the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, has picked the perfect heads for two science subcommittees: Ted Cruz, who doesn’t like NASA doing science related to global warming, will head the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. And Marco Rubio, another climate denier and one of the first adopters of the “I’m not a scientist” meme, will chair the Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries and Coast Guard, which of course has oversight of NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Gentlemen, start your fox and henhouse clichés! Read more on Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate…
  priorities

GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again

Do you remember your favorite Nazi research proponent and Congressperson Trent Franks (R-AZ)? Last Congress, he sponsored H.R. 1797, The Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which yr Wonkette described at the time as “a calamitous clusterfuck of epic proportions from start to finish.” The bill would have banned all abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, and while it did include a rape exception, that would only have been triggered if the woman reported the rape to police. And as everyone knows, that is always easy and convenient and safe for all women, hooray! After a floor debate that included insight into the masturbation habits of fetuses, the House passed the bill last June by a vote of 228-196, and then the Senate rolled around on the floor laughing and refused to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Remember when Democrats used to control the Senate, until a few weeks ago? Those were good times. Read more on GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again…
  In With The New

Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann

Image via KARE video While Yr Wonkette joins the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of Rep. Michele Bachmann’s unique brand of political wisdom, we look forward to the arrival of her Republican successor in the House of Representatives, former talk radio host and failed gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer. Read more on Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann…
  Glad we solved that problem forever

2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously

Nope, no rape news this year
In the early days of 2014, the world was a simpler, happier place. Bill Cosby was still a kindly, grandfatherly funnyman and not a horrible monster rapist, and we all enjoyed playfully teasing him about his sweaters and Jell-O Pudding Pops until the joke was entirely played out and stale and not funny anymore, seriously, enough. Read more on 2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously…
  outstanding achievements in shitmuffinry

Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!

It’s that time of year again, Wonketeers! We’re gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we don’t overlook any worthy nominees, particularly among those who ply their trade in the state capitol buildings across our great nation. Read more on Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  Legitimate Legislating

Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up

Missouri State Rep. Rick Brattin is a dedicated foot soldier in the war against abortion. It must stick in his craw that the state still has one clinic performing the procedure in St. Louis, despite Brattin and his fellow Republicans in the legislature bombarding it with new restrictions at every opportunity and requiring patients to endure a 72-hour mandatory waiting period after the initial consultation, the longest in the country. Read more on Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Abortion, Vikings, And The Obvious Grift

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
The Sarah Palin Channel is conducting a fascinating investigation into just how little content it can publish without losing subscribers. Palin has published fewer than 22 minutes of video this month, and even that abysmally small number is inflated. For example, Palin’s post on December 4th is three minutes and 26 seconds long, but the final 1:20 is a SarahPAC video posted to YouTube more than three years ago. The longest video she’s posted this month was her Hunger Games-inspired Ask Me Anything (runtime: 6:44), which, by definition, is just Palin giving off-the-cuff responses to her fans’ questions. And the only piece of content she’s published in the last seven days is a 97-second-long video titled “The Never Resolved Debt Crisis,” that was shot in 2013; this is spun as “never-before-seen” content, rather than a boring bowl of word salad that should have been left in the garbage where it was originally dumped. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Abortion, Vikings, And The Obvious Grift…
  The House Of Seven Goebbels

Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America

Of course there's a manga version
It’s Pearl Harbor Day, so what more fitting time to talk about an attack on America? Only this isn’t an attack from some evil foreign empire (redundant, since all foreigns are evil) but from within. As we’re learning from wingnut radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson, we’re under attack by our very own cultural touchstones — at least those that aren’t the Holy Bible. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America…
  Ira We Hardly Knew Ye

Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits

Goodnight Sweet Dunce
Just after we proclaimed him our favorite new wingnut and looked forward to a 2015 full of brilliantly idiotic quotes and policy positions, Nevada state assemblyman Ira Hansen has announced that he will not become Speaker of the Nevada House of Representatives after all. Read more on Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits…