Tag Archives: abortion

  They're Doing Science And We're Still Alive

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate

We'd watch this, actually
It’s a great day to not believe in science, America! Sen. John Thune, chair of the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, has picked the perfect heads for two science subcommittees: Ted Cruz, who doesn’t like NASA doing science related to global warming, will head the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. And Marco Rubio, another climate denier and one of the first adopters of the “I’m not a scientist” meme, will chair the Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries and Coast Guard, which of course has oversight of NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Gentlemen, start your fox and henhouse clichés! Read more on Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate…
  In Utero We Trust

Duck Dynasty Wife Maybe Does Not Know What She Thinks About Shmashmortion

Lisa Robertson — wife of Al, one of the Duck Dynasty brothers — is a cheatin’, fetus-killin’ strumpet, as it turns out. And she’s more than willing to tell you about it if you’ll buy her new book or let her on you teevee news program. Read more on Duck Dynasty Wife Maybe Does Not Know What She Thinks About Shmashmortion…
  priorities

GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again

Do you remember your favorite Nazi research proponent and Congressperson Trent Franks (R-AZ)? Last Congress, he sponsored H.R. 1797, The Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which yr Wonkette described at the time as “a calamitous clusterfuck of epic proportions from start to finish.” The bill would have banned all abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, and while it did include a rape exception, that would only have been triggered if the woman reported the rape to police. And as everyone knows, that is always easy and convenient and safe for all women, hooray! After a floor debate that included insight into the masturbation habits of fetuses, the House passed the bill last June by a vote of 228-196, and then the Senate rolled around on the floor laughing and refused to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Remember when Democrats used to control the Senate, until a few weeks ago? Those were good times. Read more on GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again…
  In With The New

Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann

Image via KARE video While Yr Wonkette joins the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of Rep. Michele Bachmann’s unique brand of political wisdom, we look forward to the arrival of her Republican successor in the House of Representatives, former talk radio host and failed gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer. Read more on Meet Your New Michele Bachmann, Same As Your Old Michele Bachmann…
  Glad we solved that problem forever

2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously

Nope, no rape news this year
In the early days of 2014, the world was a simpler, happier place. Bill Cosby was still a kindly, grandfatherly funnyman and not a horrible monster rapist, and we all enjoyed playfully teasing him about his sweaters and Jell-O Pudding Pops until the joke was entirely played out and stale and not funny anymore, seriously, enough. Read more on 2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously…
  outstanding achievements in shitmuffinry

Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!

It’s that time of year again, Wonketeers! We’re gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we don’t overlook any worthy nominees, particularly among those who ply their trade in the state capitol buildings across our great nation. Read more on Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  Legitimate Legislating

Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up

Missouri State Rep. Rick Brattin is a dedicated foot soldier in the war against abortion. It must stick in his craw that the state still has one clinic performing the procedure in St. Louis, despite Brattin and his fellow Republicans in the legislature bombarding it with new restrictions at every opportunity and requiring patients to endure a 72-hour mandatory waiting period after the initial consultation, the longest in the country. Read more on Missouri State Rep: Ladies, Get Your Abortion Permission Slips From The Dudes What Knocked You Up…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Abortion, Vikings, And The Obvious Grift

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
The Sarah Palin Channel is conducting a fascinating investigation into just how little content it can publish without losing subscribers. Palin has published fewer than 22 minutes of video this month, and even that abysmally small number is inflated. For example, Palin’s post on December 4th is three minutes and 26 seconds long, but the final 1:20 is a SarahPAC video posted to YouTube more than three years ago. The longest video she’s posted this month was her Hunger Games-inspired Ask Me Anything (runtime: 6:44), which, by definition, is just Palin giving off-the-cuff responses to her fans’ questions. And the only piece of content she’s published in the last seven days is a 97-second-long video titled “The Never Resolved Debt Crisis,” that was shot in 2013; this is spun as “never-before-seen” content, rather than a boring bowl of word salad that should have been left in the garbage where it was originally dumped. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Abortion, Vikings, And The Obvious Grift…
  The House Of Seven Goebbels

Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America

Of course there's a manga version
It’s Pearl Harbor Day, so what more fitting time to talk about an attack on America? Only this isn’t an attack from some evil foreign empire (redundant, since all foreigns are evil) but from within. As we’re learning from wingnut radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson, we’re under attack by our very own cultural touchstones — at least those that aren’t the Holy Bible. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Why ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Is Bad For Jesus And America…
  Ira We Hardly Knew Ye

Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits

Goodnight Sweet Dunce
Just after we proclaimed him our favorite new wingnut and looked forward to a 2015 full of brilliantly idiotic quotes and policy positions, Nevada state assemblyman Ira Hansen has announced that he will not become Speaker of the Nevada House of Representatives after all. Read more on Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits…
  Accuracy In Slut Shaming

Anti-Abortion Lady Does Math Proving Abortion Is Fake

Maybe you should try video game design...
So Thursday on the Twittersphere, some pro-choice ladies had a big internet event, telling their own stories of having had abortions, with the goal of reducing the stigma of talking about a legal medical procedure that one in three women have had. The 1 in 3 Campaign featured a hundred people telling their stories and tweeting about them. Read more on Anti-Abortion Lady Does Math Proving Abortion Is Fake…
  The Far Right Stuff

Incoming Nevada Speaker Ira Hansen Is Your New Favorite Wingnut

Listen: Nevada Republicans are not interested in your “bipartisanship” or your “getting along” or your “logic and facts.” As soon as they took over the state House, they chose as their new Speaker one Ira Hansen, a gentleman who, according to the Reno News & Review, “doesn’t like blacks, gays, Israel, many Republicans, and most Nevadans[.]” Mr. Hansen got a brief mention in Yr Wonkette earlier this year when he explained that the reason Republicans don’t do so well with younger voters is that the GOP needs to be more firmly conservative on traditional marriage, to catch the wave of anti-gay sentiment among young folks. Read more on Incoming Nevada Speaker Ira Hansen Is Your New Favorite Wingnut…
  Ban Women As 'Attractive Nuisances' Too

Georgia Town Bans Abortions Because They’re, Like, So Much Drama

Just in case you were having trouble staying wide awake all night
The town council of Rossville, Georgia, has taken decisive action to make sure that no pregnant sluts go and ‘bort their babbies in town unless they have a darn good reason, like a handwritten note from Jesus. In a unanimous vote Monday, the council banned any abortion clinics within city limits, although out of the goodness of their hearts they will still allow women to access their constitutional rights under very limited circumstances: Read more on Georgia Town Bans Abortions Because They’re, Like, So Much Drama…
  All This Fuss Over A Few Clumps Of Words

Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board

Grab yer razor blades and white-out!
So here’s one more bit of Election Nice Time: turns out that even in hyper-conservative Gilbert, Arizona, a bedroom community to the Phoenix metro horrorplex, it is in fact possible for a conservative school board to go to far. And it looks like the Gilbert School Board’s decision last week to razor out a page from an Honors Biology textbook in the high school — because it mentions the abortion pill — is what counts as too far: the good people of Gilbert elected two new members and reelected an anti-censorship member, replacing the Tea Party-leaning majority on the board with a new majority that is firmly against slicing out a page from a biology textbook out of fear that high schoolers will learn that abortion exists. There were other tensions between the board and the community, too, but the textbook censorship seems to have been the last straw. Read more on Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board…
  Texas To Women: Drop Dead

Wendy Davis Loses In Texas Despite Apparent Membership In Wu Tang Clan

It's still a great shirt
Wendy Davis attended an election-day event wearing a T-shirt based on the Wu-Tang Clan logo, but the power of the Killa Bees (plus, OK, a pretty lame campaign organization) was not enough to prevail for the newfound hero of Texas women. The next governor of Texas will be Greg Abbott, who will continue the state’s legacy of keeping women in line and not letting the wrong people vote. Read more on Wendy Davis Loses In Texas Despite Apparent Membership In Wu Tang Clan…
  Dumb and dumber

Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow

S-M-R-T
You almost (relax, we said almost) have to pity Ann Coulter, the once semi-relevant “author” and “columnist” whose brand was being The Hot Conservative Chick, with the long blonde hair and little black dresses — oh, and the obnoxious things she’s always willing to say to get her name in the paper. She used to have slightly more pull on the Wingnut Welfare Circuit, before the greatest lady grifter of all time snowdrifted down to the lower 48 to seize The Hot Conservative Chick crown with her Neiman Marcus wardrobe and her starburst-inspiring winking, pretty much permanently putting baby Ann in a corner. (Coulter’s various dalliances with voter fraud — actual voter fraud — certainly didn’t help her reputation.) Read more on Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow…
  Just Cut It Out Like...Like Something That Is Unlike An abortion

Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook

Fine, whatever, this is Shreveport, Loiusiana, not Gilbert. Fine
Rest easy, innocent children of Gilbert, Arizona: You won’t have to worry about being corrupted by your biology textbooks anymore! The Gilbert School Board voted Tuesday to remove a page from the high school’s honors biology textbook, because they were worried it might be in violation of an Arizona law requiring that all instructional materials promote “childbirth or adoption” instead of abortion. Read more on Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Does Science To Rightwing Myths About IUDs (Video)

O'Douls? Possibly the cruellest cut of the whole bit.
Rachel Maddow took a trip to the Man Cave (or the green screen version of one) Wednesday night to debunk a deeply held article of faith about one form of birth control that could be outlawed if Colorado passes its third try at a “personhood amendment.” Abortion opponents also want to ban a whole bunch of contraceptives, and they say that intrauterine devices(IUDs) have to go because they’re abortifacients. They aren’t, but the notion is also near and dear to the heart of Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez. So why the trip to the mancave? Turns out, guys, the IUD is just hell on sperms, as a doctor lady from the University of Colorado Hospital explains in this video. So no, a lady with an IUD in her innards is not a walking abortionplex. Read more on Rachel Maddow Does Science To Rightwing Myths About IUDs (Video)…
  Who would Jesus kill?

‘Pro-Life’ Murderer Demands His First Amendment Right To Kill Again

Yep, conspiracy to commit murder is right in there!
When a convicted “pro-life” terrorist who shot an abortion doctor to death, in his own church — for the unborned babies, and for Jesus! — threatens to do it again, you should probably take him seriously. Scott Roeder, who murdered Dr. George Tiller in 2009, has been rotting behind bars where he belongs ever since he was convicted of murder. Roeder has no remorse for his crime; in fact, he’s been fantasizing about his next victim: Julie Burkhart, the executive director of the clinic that replaced Dr. Tiller’s after Roeder murdered him. Read more on ‘Pro-Life’ Murderer Demands His First Amendment Right To Kill Again…
  Pregnant Is The New Black

Texas Wants In On This Pregnancy Crimes Game, Too

Invasion of the babby-snatchers
Looks like we have a trend story here! A few days ago we brought you the story of Alabama Supreme Court Judge Tom Parker, who’s working to end ‘bortion forever by building a whole bunch of cases that treat fetuses as persons — often in criminal prosecutions of pregnant women who are caught using drugs, even though laws they’re prosecuted under don’t specify that they apply to zygotes. Read more on Texas Wants In On This Pregnancy Crimes Game, Too…