Tag Archives: abortion

  Tossing the Lord's apples

Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss

The evangelical Christians are fighting over the gays, everyone! Specifically, they are fighting at ultra-conservative Wheaton College in Illinois, where a simple nice chapel time turned into a fruit-tossing contest. NO THEY DID NOT THROW GAY PEOPLE AT EACH OTHER, you should not be calling gays “fruits,” anyway, you dicks, did you learn nothing at liberal indoctrination camp? Read more on Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss…
  just shrink Dennis Quaid and stuff him right up there

Idaho Republican Asks How Do You Get Stuff In A Lady’s Vagina?

it's a baby not a robot doll
Vito Barbieri is not as stupid as you think he is. (Okay, he is probably as stupid as you think he is.) But by donning the mantle of a complete buffoon who thinks — we don’t know, that you put Sheldon Adelson’s aspirin in your vagina? — he may have actually made a point about “telemedicine,” and how you can’t use it to look in a lady’s cooter. (His point will turn out to be moot, but it IS ONE.) Read more on Idaho Republican Asks How Do You Get Stuff In A Lady’s Vagina?…
  The Once And Future King Of Derp

Obama Will Force Priests To ‘Bortion Anchor Babies, Says Noted Idiot Jim Hoft

Jim Hoft
Last year, mop-topped pus bubble Jim Hoft lost his coveted Stupidest Man on the Internet title to alpha male newcomer Chuck Johnson. Yr Wonket is pleased to see that Hoft is mounting a determined campaign to regain his tin crown, and if he keeps churning out ledes like this one, he’ll be back on top in no time. True champions use adversity as motivation, and if the right-wing id has a true champion, it’s definitely Jim fuckin’ Hoft. Read more on Obama Will Force Priests To ‘Bortion Anchor Babies, Says Noted Idiot Jim Hoft…
  No jelly-cows either that's just not right NOT IN GEORGIA

Georgia Republican Will Protect Us From Glow-In-The-Dark Jellyfish People

Never say that Georgia Republican Tom Kirby isn’t fighting for What Matters. Many politicians enter public service because there is something in their hearts that compels them to do it, for the good of their people, and Georgia state Rep. Tom Kirby is no exception. He will protect Georgians from the scourge of human jellyfish fetuses, because that his is calling in life! You didn’t know this was a problem affecting Georgia? That is because you are clearly stupid, let Tom’s website (the URL of which inexplicably ends with “pretty photo”) tell you: Read more on Georgia Republican Will Protect Us From Glow-In-The-Dark Jellyfish People…
  Stop ISISing the babbies

S.D. State Rep.: Stop Coming To America And Performing Legal Abortions, ISIS!

Activate super suction!
South Dakota state Rep. Isaac Latterell introduced a bill on Tuesday to make it illegal to behead babies in the course of an abortion, and he did it while comparing those same abortion providers to ISIS because they love beheadings just so much. Buckle in, folks. It doesn’t get any prettier. Read more on S.D. State Rep.: Stop Coming To America And Performing Legal Abortions, ISIS!…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
Usually, Yr Wonket has some discretion regarding which Palin-flavored entrees we will shove down your throats each weekend on the Fartknocker Report. Unfortunately, this was one of those weeks when the Tundra Grifter couldn’t be bothered to do more than one take for a single two-minute-long video. So open wide, we guess, because here comes Sarah to misrepresent some facts about the House’s recent abortion bill. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!…
  Bumblin' Stumblin' Fumblin'

New Republican Congress Accomplishes Nothing, Goes On Vacation

Thank god somebody has some fresh thinking!
Back in November, Idea Men John Boehner and Mitch McConnell conserva-splained at America how they would fix Congress now that they’d won the midterms. These Bold, Robust Ideas were intended to unite the party and carry forward the Will of the People, who had Spoken in November. Read more on New Republican Congress Accomplishes Nothing, Goes On Vacation…
  Science not welcome

West Virginia GOP Loves Babies, Doesn’t Care So Much About Women Or Constitution

You'll probably want to turn around now
West Virginia’s legislature sure is focused on fixing the state’s biggest problems. Like the problem of women having abortions after 20 weeks, which happened all of six times in 2011, and is a constitutionally protected right? Yeah, the state is totally going to fix that. Read more on West Virginia GOP Loves Babies, Doesn’t Care So Much About Women Or Constitution…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)

56 repeals of Obamacare!
Congratulations, Republicans! You’ve been running both houses of Congress for a month now, and so far, you’ve failed to pass your own bills on abortion and immigration, but at least you did pass a bill to demand building the Keystone XL pipeline — the same month as five other pipelines in the nation exploded or ruptured. And the House voted for the 56th time to repeal/restrict/delay Obamacare, so there’s that. Read more on Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)…
  Tomorrow Belongs To Him

Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America

Lots of good jobs for women, too!
Remember the anecdote about what Gandhi supposedly said when asked what he thought of Western Civilization? “I think it would be a good idea.” Colorado radio preacher and homeschooling advocate Kevin Swanson has a slightly different answer — he’d say “I think it’s been corrupted by Satan from the very beginning.” This is why people like the Gandhi quote, even if it’s probably apocryphal. But here we are, finally, at the end of Swanson’s e-tirade, Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, which lays out his case that most of what we think of as Western Culture is in fact a grand plot by the Father of Lies to turn Europe and America away from Biblical truth and clean Christian living. In his final chapter, “Gardens in the Ashes,” Swanson presents his vision for how American Christians can begin to rebuild a truly Christian society after the inevitable collapse of secularism. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: How Homeschooling Will Re-Christianize America…
  Rarely Is It Asked: Is Our State Legislators Learning?

SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?

He has a gun, let's vote for him!
South Carolina state Rep. Jonathon Hill is just an inquisitive guy who wants to be well-informed about state judicial candidates. That’s the only reason he sent a questionnaire just crawling with completely unconstitutional questions to candidates for judgeships. In South Carolina, judges are elected by state legislators, so Hill, a bright young conservative who is 29 years old, thought he’d look into some important questions to help him decide who belongs on the bench. Here are a few things he wanted to know: Read more on SC Republican Just Wants Judges To Pass Religious Test, What’s Wrong With That?…
  Another great moment in GOP outreach

Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With ‘Our Republican Females’

Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, one of spittiest ragemonkeys the GOP has to offer, is feeling lots of upset feelings this week, and it is because House Republicans were forced to cancel a vote on their 20-week abortion ban bill that was scheduled to coincide with the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Read more on Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With ‘Our Republican Females’…
 

Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal

The United States House of Representatives, man, what a place. When they’re not quoting the Bible to piss on climate change or trying to gut Social Security or voting for the 407th time to REPEAL OBAMACARE or fellating their corporate benefactors or holding their collective breath until the usurper resigns in disgrace or gets tried for treason, whichever, they’re voting to make already-illegal taxpayer-funded abortions even more super-duper illegal, because they really, really want all you ambulating vaginas out there to get to babymakin’, for God and country. Read more on Five Other Already-Illegal Things Congress Should Vote to Make Illegal…
  From the "legitimate rape" desk

Lindsey Graham Finding It Difficult To Separate Good Girls From Lying Sluts, Would Appreciate Suggestions

and unfortunately I vote
Senator Lindsey Graham (R-please just stop) spoke Thursday at the annual March for Life Rally/Recycled Offensive Placard Emporium about the House GOP’s failure to get their act together enough to pass H.R. 36, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act. As you will recall, GOP congressladies objected to the truly obnoxious rape exception in the bill, which would have allowed abortions in cases of rape IF and ONLY IF the rape was reported to the police. On the basis of their objections, Republican House leaders canceled the scheduled vote. Read more on Lindsey Graham Finding It Difficult To Separate Good Girls From Lying Sluts, Would Appreciate Suggestions…
  your tax dollars at work

House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)

Just lay back and think about the savings
Republicans love tradition, and that is why on Thursday, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (haha, take that, ladies!), the House held its traditional vote for the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act, which they introduce every single congressional session, because tradition! Read more on House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)…
  But don't worry they will keep trying to ban abortion in all of the ways

House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh

do we need to go back to THIS?
Today is the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which is one of those Supreme Court decisions that you totally know about! In Roe, the Court held that ladies have a constitutional right to have an abortion up until fetal viability, or roughly 24 or 25 weeks of pregnancy, so if you are a pregnant lady and you have been pregnant for fewer than 24 weeks, you may choose to stop being pregnant, and that is your constitutional right. Read more on House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh…
  Yes we're still talking about this

GOP Congressladies Would Like To Stop Talking About Legitimate Rape Please

but the Republican Congressladies aren't on board any more
On Thursday, which happens to be the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade — what a coincidence! — the House will vote on H.R. 36, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, a bill that would ban all abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, except when the life of the woman is physically at risk, or in cases of rape or incest where the woman has reported the rape or incest to the police or another appropriate government agency. Just to be clear, Republicans are still making a distinction between “crime rape” where a stranger rapes you and you go to the police (that kind of rape is “legitimate” rape, and so we suppose you should be allowed to have an abortion), and partner or marital rape, where you might go the police, but you might not, because it’s complicated (that kind of rape is way less legitimate, and probably it wasn’t even rape, and it should not qualify you for an abortion, because you are probably just lying that your boyfriend raped you, and that’s why you didn’t call the police). Read more on GOP Congressladies Would Like To Stop Talking About Legitimate Rape Please…
  In Derpiest Battle

Sundays With The Christianists: John Steinbeck Invented ‘Bortion, Wrote Evil Books

A movie about a temptress, we guess
Now here’s a surprise: a rightwing Christian rant against John Steinbeck that barely mentions The Grapes of Wrath at all. If nothing else, we can credit wingnut radio preacher and homeschooling “expert” Kevin Swanson with this much: He’s not always predictable. Or at least, while his opinions are completely predictable, the particular topics he chooses to obsess about aren’t necessarily what you’d expect. We’ve reached the end of the literature survey portion of Swanson’s ebook manifesto, Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, although he still has a couple of chapters on modern popular culture for us to slog through in his screed about the decline of Western civilization from a nonexistent Christian norm. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: John Steinbeck Invented ‘Bortion, Wrote Evil Books…
  Yes please go on strike forever

Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King

At a March for
Since harassing women outside abortion clinics and sometimes bombing them and murdering doctors hasn’t worked, anti-choicers have a new strategy: strike! Project Defending Life is linking arms of solidarity with another “pro-life” organization, Operation Rescue (obligatory reminder: its senior policy adviser is an actual terrorist, you’re welcome) to tell everyone who loves the unborned babies to stay home in dishonor of the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and don’t buy nothing, and also maybe they will have a sit-in at the Abortionplex lunch counter too? (Hint: Avoid the veal.) Read more on Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King…
  Cool science fiction bros

North Dakota: You Don’t Even Need Ladies To Bake A Baby, So Time To Outlaw Abortion Again

Sure, it is legal to have abortions in these United States of Jesus, but that’s just, like, your opinion, man. (Also the law, but whatevs.) In the never-ending quest to un-legalize it, North Dakota “lawyers” have a swell new argument for freedom-forcing women to be incubators. And it’s a really good one: Read more on North Dakota: You Don’t Even Need Ladies To Bake A Baby, So Time To Outlaw Abortion Again…