abortion
House GOP Bans Abortions After 20 Weeks, Unemployment Rate Somehow Unaffected
To the complete surprise of no Wonketeers anywhere, the House of Representatives yesterday passed their bill aimed at alienating women everywhere outlawing abortions after 20 weeks. The effort, nothing more than an empty gesture to throw red meat to anti-choice whackadoos, has been a calamitous clusterfuck of epic proportions from start to finish. But before [...]
Texas Rep. Michael Burgess: Ban Abortion, Because Fetuses Can’t Stop Masturbating
Golly, it’s been, what, a whole bunch of hours since someone on the right said something incredibly stupid about abortion, so we guess this is right on schedule: Texas Congressman Michael Burgess (R-Like We Had To Say “R”) has a whole new reason to ban abortion at 20 weeks, and maybe earlier: masturbating fetuses. Specifically, [...]
Republicans Have New Plan To War On Your Ladyparts With Humor
Ever since Republicans got their asses kicked in the 2012 election, they’ve been curled up in the fetal position, soothing themselves with fantastic stories of how it’s not that the majority of Americans think their policies suck ass like an industrial strength Hoover; it’s just that they didn’t package their ass-sucking policies the right way. [...]
New Pope Blesses Bikers & Anti-Abortion Activists In Well-Thought-Out Combo Mass
Sometimes we think New Pope is just trolling us. Like this weekend, when Pope Frankie folded a blessing of Harley Davidson enthusiasts – it’s the company’s 110th anniversary — into a Vatican mass commemorating the Church’s 1995 “Evangelium Vitae” encyclical that laid out official doctrine on abortion, euthanasia, and end of life decisions. As TalkingPointsMemo [...]
Rep. Trent Franks Only Sounds Like A Nazi Because He’s ’100 percent Unapologetically Pro-life’
Look, just because Rep. Trent Franks happened to espouse the exact same medical mythology propounded by the Nazis (and Todd Akin) — that women who are raped don’t get pregnant because of trauma and magic ladyparts and stuff — doesn’t mean you shouldnt’t give him lots of monies. Since Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.) claimed earlier [...]
Rep. Trent Franks’s Magic Ladyparts Rape Theory Is Literally — LITERALLY — Just Like Hitler
We here at Yr Wonkette are fond of mocking the ever-lovin’ shit out of Republicans who are fond of saying that such-and-such or so-and-so is just like Hitler or Nazis or the Holocaust, or some variation thereon. Like how overhearing things at Sen. Mitch McConnell’s office is just like the gestapo. (Also, Watergate, which we [...]
With Nothing Better To Do, Republicans Try to Ban Abortion Some More
Ah, lazy summer days. Fresh-squeezed lemonade, barbecues, bills to ban abortion for reasons that make absolutely zero sense and will never actually become law anyway, but who cares, congressional Republicans have their priorities, you know, and even though you might think “jobs” or “The War on Terra” or “naming post offices” might be more important, [...]
What Do Ladies Want, If They Even Know? A Debate By Two Republican Gentlemen
Nebraska and Oklahoma: Two neighboring states that proudly embrace their independent pioneer heritage, their rival university f’ball teams with silly names, and their domination by agribusiness interests — they are like power bottoms for Archer Daniels Midland! Both states also share a near-complete stranglehold on state politics by the GOP. (Oh sure, Nebraska’s weirdass unicameral [...]
Nice Time! Supreme Court Says Indiana Slut Clinics Still Allowed To Bankrupt America
How are liberals winning the battle against the Fetal Menace today? Probably a lot of ways, but especially this: The State of Indiana will not be allowed to withhold Medicaid funding from Planned Parenthood! Says who, you ask? The Supreme Court, that’s who! (Actually they didn’t “say” anything, they just coldly and disdainfully “declined” to [...]
Louie Gohmert Defends His Fellow Brain-Dead Americans
Everybody needs an advocate. This is why, in our criminal justice system, even murderers and Ken Lay get to have attorneys. And who better to advocate for babies who would be born without brain function than their leader, Texas Mensa President Louie Gohmert? That is why he stood up to Big Abortion in the guise [...]
Virginia Loses Its Damn Mind, Steals Control of Crazy Train
Don’t look now, kids, but Virginia has turned the corner and gone nuts. Seriously, it has gone It-Puts-The-Lotion-On-Its-Skin crazy. In just the past week, it has come to light that GOP nominees to state office and elected officials want to: force women who have miscarriages to report it to law enforcement officers; compared Planned Parenthood [...]
Mark Steyn: Why Did These UCLA Academics Blow Up The Boston Marathon? (Hint: Shmashmortion!)
Mark Steyn, acknowledged reigning wit of the batshit brigades (at least until the frabjous day, callooh callay, that actually hilarious Larry Miller turns the corner from “conservative” to “Michelle Malkin”), has some Thoughts on Terrorism he would like to tell at ya! And somehow those Thoughts are about abortion mills and how dumb “academia” is. [...]
Black Chick Lawmakers Get All Uppity At Nice White Man Explaining Genocide At Them
Hey ladies! Is there anything you like more than having dudes explain things about your womb-type parts to you? Probably not! You probably love it! You probably don’t understand how things like reproduction and abortion work, because of having all those lady parts. People of color! Do you like having white dudes explain things to [...]
Idiot Republican Excited to End Non-Existent Federal Funding of Abortion
Oh hey look! It’s Idiot Republican Saying Stupid Shit o’clock again. This time, it’s Rep. Marsha Blackburn’s turn again, as usual. Give someone else a turn once a while, Marsha! She’s just so greedy: “I think that what you’re going to see with the [Kermit] Gosnell case is people will focus on, yes, the regulations, [...]
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Deleted E-Mails Of The Week: Progressives Are The True Nazis, And An Important Clarification To Our 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Story
by Doktor Zoom
Hey, kids, it’s been a hoot being your Stealth Editron all day today, as a dry run or shakedown cruise or dress rehearsal for June, when Yr Dok Zoom will be editoring for the three weeks of Yr Editrix’s Great Wonk Your Brains Out Tour. (We are fairly sure we did OK, though some buyer’s [...]