Tag Archives: abortion

  Justice Of Miscarriage

Miscarrying Lady Almost Dies At Catholic Hospital, But At Least She Didn’t Get An Abortion

How cool is Steve Brodner? Cool enough that he gave us permission to use this within five minutes of asking!
Oh, Wonketteers, you’re going to want to remove any heavy objects from the vicinity of your computer before you read this one, lest you hurl anything through your monitor (mobile users are advised to tie down their throwing arms). Tuesday, a federal district judge in Michigan dismissed a woman’s lawsuit against the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and three chairs or former chairs of the Catholic hospital chain that owns Mercy Health Partners’ hospital in Muskegon, Michigan. In 2010, Tamesha Means was only 18 weeks pregnant when her water broke and she went to Mercy — one of only two hospitals in Muskegon County, which are both owned by the same Catholic company, Trinity Health. We’ll let the ACLU tell you how that went: Read more on Miscarrying Lady Almost Dies At Catholic Hospital, But At Least She Didn’t Get An Abortion…
  Gays Not Yet Blamed But It's Still Early

Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion

White dude walks into a black church, shoots and kills nine congregants, the Department of Justice calls it a hate crime — but you know what’s really behind this tragedy? Let’s check in with “pro-life” conservative activist and Fox News contributor Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King — yes, the Dr. King. She’s also a star on the wingnut circuit because she’ll happily tell those wingnuts exactly what they want to hear about how racism is dead and Obama is evil, and her uncle would tell you that if he were here today, yes he would. Read more on Dr. King’s Most Embarrassing Niece Knows Charleston Shooting Happened Because Abortion…
  sluts sluts sluts

Oh Hey There’s A Shark In The Middle Of The Road, Guess The State: Your Florida Roundup

Actually set in Florida, true story
Let us take a break from the perpetual celebration of the arrival of Editrix Jr., our future overlord, peace be upon her, to remind ourselves that all is not so precious and beautiful in the world, and places like Florida still exist. To wit: Where the fuck else would you find a headline like this? Read more on Oh Hey There’s A Shark In The Middle Of The Road, Guess The State: Your Florida Roundup…
  Waiting For The Sky's Water To Break

California Lady Lawmaker Knows What Causes Droughts, And It Is Abortion

This 'sand'? It's all POWDERED FETUSES!
Though they may never accept evolution, let it never be said that rightwingers never let their thinking on critical issues evolve. Take, for instance (please!) California Assemblywoman Shannon Grove, who used to believe California’s drought was caused by environmentalists giving all the state’s water to fish, but who now has come up with a far more plausible explanation for why it hasn’t rained: God is angry with California because of legal abortion. How she knows that it’s abortion and not The Gays we don’t know, but she’s got her ways of knowing things. Read more on California Lady Lawmaker Knows What Causes Droughts, And It Is Abortion…
  Delete your show

This Is The Worst Thing Pat Robertson Has Ever Said

Televangelist scam artist Pat Robertson has said some horrible, terrible, evil, awful words in his 315 years on this Earth. About how to beat your kids just right, how to pray the gay away, how to doll yourself up so your husband doesn’t cheat on you. Also, some straight-up crazy talk about Satanic vegetables. Usually, we try to find the funny — haha, look what creepy old Uncle Pat said on his show today! — and then we make some jokes about it. But Robertson’s advice to “Jane,” on how to comfort a coworker whose three-year-old died, is So. Fucking. The Worst: Read more on This Is The Worst Thing Pat Robertson Has Ever Said…
  You'll have nothing and who cares if you like it?

Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All

You didn't want those clinics, did you?
Good thing Texas-Americans of the lady persuasion are accustomed by now to courts opening and closing their abortion clinics, so they won’t be shocked when most of their clinics are shut down again. In the epic, years-long legal battle to decide whether and how and when abortion providers may provide abortions in Texas, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals issued an opinion Tuesday saying, basically, “How about never? Is never good for you? TOO BAD!” Read more on Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All…
  Congratulations lifers

Young Mom Charged With Murder For Home Abortion, Another ‘Pro-Life’ Victory!

Just the unborn kind though
Terrific news for harmless little ol’ grandmas who just want to “sidewalk counsel” baby-killing whores outside health clinics, so they don’t make the wrong decisions. A young woman in Georgia is now in jail and facing murder charges for making the wrong decision, by giving herself a home abortion, and delivering a five-month-old fetus who died. Her name is Kenlissa Jones, she is 23, and — bonus! — she already has a two-year-old son who, if she’s imprisoned for murder, won’t have a mother anymore. Success! Read more on Young Mom Charged With Murder For Home Abortion, Another ‘Pro-Life’ Victory!…
  The feud continues

Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America

Science experiment.
  Last week we laughed and laughed at Rick Santorum, who really thinks Pope Francis needs to shut right up about climate science, because the pope, despite having studied chemistry, is not a scientist. Why focus on things like that, when there are more important Poping duties out there, like slut-shaming and telling people to stop being gay? But damn godless liberal Pope Francis, he’s putting out an encyclical on climate change, despite Santorum’s advice to the contrary. Read more on Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America…
  supreme wisdom

Antonin Scalia Tells Grads: Always Be Yourself, Unless You Are Hitler

TOO S-M-R-T FOR YOU.
Oh, Justice Scalia, what would the Supreme Court do without you? It’s such a comfort to know that a brilliant, HILARIOUS legal mind like yours is adjudicating America’s Most Important Questions. Scalia spoke at his grandbaby’s high school graduation and thought the kids might enjoy a fun joke, about Hitler: Read more on Antonin Scalia Tells Grads: Always Be Yourself, Unless You Are Hitler…
  Irony Meter Explodes

Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’

People who wouldn't let their kids see an R-rated movie take them to rallies to hold bloody fetus posters.
We’ll grant this much to the fetus fetishists of the “pro-life” crowd: they’re endlessly imaginative in coming up with new ways to make it harder for women to get access to a legal medical procedure. Take the fine folks in the Alabama Senate — please, take them! — who passed a bunch of restrictions and requirements for clinics that perform abortions (mandating the same structural standards as surgical facilities and hospital-width hallways, for instance). The Alabama Women’s Wellness Center (AWWC) in Huntsville opened a new office designed to comply with the restrictions, with the added benefit of having a full parking lot so patients wouldn’t have to walk past protesters offering them “counseling” by screaming “baby murderer” in their faces, from the sidewalk. But now, state senators are expected to pass a law that would prohibit abortion clinics from operating within 200 feet of a school — and the AWWC just happens to be across and down the street from a middle school that’s being refurbished and will be re-opening as a magnet school in the fall. How conVEENient! Read more on Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’…
  that's not the only reason Rudy

Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions

Hey. Remember 9/11?
Rudy Giuliani stopped by the Fox News derp emporium to talk about 9/11 violence in Baltimore, and host Neil Cavuto just wanted to know “Why not you?” for president of America, instead of all these other rinky dink has-beens? Well, the answer is simple: Rudy Giuliani WOULD be a great Republican president, except for how he loves gays, abortion and foreigns so much, which won’t fly with the wingnut GOP base: Read more on Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions…
  God Gets Quite Irate

Wisconsin Abortion Bill Lets Sad Daddies Sue If Their Sacred Sperm Is Wasted

Yes, yes, he's from Texas, whatever. So sue for emotional damage.
Gosh, is there anything that could be more awful about Wisconsin’s new abortion bill? How about a provision giving men the right to sue doctors for “emotional and psychological distress” when their precious genetic material is cruelly aborted after 20 weeks? Yep, that’s pretty sucky. Wouldn’t it be enough just to give the guy a copy of the mandatory ultrasound, since those pictures are such joyous occasions? Read more on Wisconsin Abortion Bill Lets Sad Daddies Sue If Their Sacred Sperm Is Wasted…
  not his exact words

Rick Santorum: Dumb Pope Francis Needs To Shut His Mouth About Climate Change

But what about when there was only one set of footprints? I slipped in some Santorum, said Jesus.
Rick Santorum is a Catholic lawyer who likes long piggyback rides on the beach with Jesus and snuggle time with dead fetuses. Pope Francis is the boss of Catholics, and he also has a masters’ degree in chemistry, from his pre-poping days.* One of these men needs to stay out of trying to say words about climate change, and according to Santorum, it’s Big Dumb Pope. Read more on Rick Santorum: Dumb Pope Francis Needs To Shut His Mouth About Climate Change…
  he knows what Kids These Days are into

Gov. Scott Walker: Ultrasounds Are So Hella Cool They Should Be MANDATORY

Knows what is cool and what is not cool.
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker does not understand why you libtards do not like the nice anti-abortion bill he signed in 2013. Recently, a federal judge smacked part of it down, saying that requiring abortion doctors to have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital is “unconstitutional,” like as if. Walker told wingnut radio host Dana Loesch he doesn’t understand why everybody isn’t excited about a different part of his totally baller law, the part that forces ladies who want abortions to have ultrasounds and hear descriptions of the fetus. (It looks like a fetus!) Why? Because ultrasounds are totally cool, bro: Read more on Gov. Scott Walker: Ultrasounds Are So Hella Cool They Should Be MANDATORY…
  Make Babies Not War

VA Can’t Help Disabled Vets Make Babies Because ‘Pro-Lifers’ Hate The Troops

Danged artists taking all the fun out of everything
The Law of Unintended Consequences is doing its part to make life just a little extra bit awful for disabled vets. A Veterans Administration ban on in vitro fertility treatments (IVF) — put into place by “pro-life” lawmakers worried about the inalienable rights of frozen fertilized eggs — means that many injured Iraq and Afghanistan vets can’t become parents. This has nothing to do with the VA’s notorious backlogs; this is Congress just plain prohibiting the system from providing care. Read more on VA Can’t Help Disabled Vets Make Babies Because ‘Pro-Lifers’ Hate The Troops…
  how rude!

Mean California Dems Won’t Let Fake Abortion Clinics Lie To Ladies And Call Them Whores :(

Did you REALLY just tell me that my IUD is a baby?
These things exist, called Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPC’s). They like to set up in the inner city, and they act like they’re just trying to help the pregnant ladies who want abortions, but in reality, women who go there get fed whole lines of incorrect medical “info” (aka “lies”) about how abortion causes breast cancer and abortion causes ladies to be depressed forever, and so on. Sometimes they just tell ladies they’re whores, and that they’ll never be able to get pregnant again if they get ‘bortions. Most of them don’t even have medical staff. Read more on Mean California Dems Won’t Let Fake Abortion Clinics Lie To Ladies And Call Them Whores :(…
  That's not what 'libertarian' means

Rand Paul Thinks States Should Regulate Your Vag, Except For When He Wants To

You can trust him, he's a doctor
The “libertarian” senator from Kentucky does not want to talk about abortion, m’kay? Bitcoins and drones and how we should go back to the 1800s except for that slavery stuff, maybe, and Bill Clinton’s blowjob (totally Hillary’s fault) — that’s all good. Rand Paul loves that stuff. He will trip over his own tongue ALL DAY on that nonsense. But little babbies and whether he wants to save them or kill them dead, in your womb? Nah, man, that’s not why he’s been a senator for .37 seconds and is already ready to pretend he’s ready to be president: Read more on Rand Paul Thinks States Should Regulate Your Vag, Except For When He Wants To…
  point and laugh

Wonkette Wingnut BFF Bradlee Dean Makes Poem, Proves Gay Marriage Will Cause Holocaust

World's most beautiful poet.
Wonkette is very excited to let everyone know that Bradlee Dean, our hilarious bestie who is also a religious rights activist, has written a very important poem at the WorldNetDaily, about how gay marriage is going to cause the Holocaust. Like we need to be reminded! Now, Bradlee Dean does not like being quoted, but fuck him, here is his poem, which is his own version of the famous Martin Niemöller “First they came for the socialists” quote. Is it good? Ha ha, no, Bradlee Dean is bad at many things, and poetry is one of them: Read more on Wonkette Wingnut BFF Bradlee Dean Makes Poem, Proves Gay Marriage Will Cause Holocaust…
  You Got Fetus In My Vaccine!

Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines

And chewy nougat
Of the many claims made by anti-vaxxers, we have to admit this one is new to us: A group that opposes both abortion and vaccinations insists that California needs to keep its vaccine exemption for “personal and religious beliefs” because if it doesn’t, then children of good decent Christians will be forced to get injected with aborted baby parts! It’s now something of a moot point, because the California Senate passed the bill Thursday, although it’s still not clear whether Gov. Jerry Brown will sign it. Read more on Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines…
  dirty commie socialists

Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
The Texas House did something gross, because it is the Texas House, try not to faint from surprise. House Bill 1514, approved by a vote of 129 to 8, would require that a special designation — “QHP” — be added to insurance cards for plans purchased through the Affordable Care Act’s online exchanges, just so your doctor knows how gross you are. Originally, the bill included the designation QHP-S, which would have added an extra special “fuck the poors” scarlet letter to the insurance cards of people who qualified for subsidies under Obamacare, but that part was removed from the final bill that passed, which liberal blogs and mainstream newspapers would know if they READ A GODDAMNED BILL ONCE IN A WHILE: Read more on Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare…