Wonkette

A hazy, unconfirmed source is claiming that ABC News’ Sam Donaldson’s number appears in the phone records of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the DC Madam. If true, it appears Barbara Walters is officially tapped out. [Big Head DC via Radar]

UPDATE: Nevermind. Big Head DC just made shit up, so the universe is back in order. Watch Radar strip down its editor.

Hey everyone, only 365 days left (leap year!) until November 4, 2008, when we hold our massive election things! What a wonderful opportunity to listen to our candidates’ stump speeches and teevee bits a few more thousand times before making a lesser-of-sixteen-evils decision, and then regretting it and voting for other people two years later. MORE »

Although Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo is totally a shoe-in to become the next president, the nativist speedaholic is selflessly willing to put it all on the line with a World Series bet against Soxy colleague Mitt Romney. A spokesman for the Tancredo campaign (probably his dog or something) called ABC News this morning with a wager for Mitt Romney: If the Rockies lose the World Series then Tancredo will drop out, if the Red Sox lose then Romney will. It’s a charitable offer to Romney, whose pathetic campaigning has only landed him in first place in both Iowa and New Hampshire polls. The fool can’t recognize a good opportunity when it hits him square in the magic pajamas, and his campaign has rejected the offer. A deflated Tom Tancredo will resume betting on cockfights in the Mexico City underworld. MORE »

Continuing our day of paranoia and horror and terror, the ABC News Washington bureau has been evacuated because somebody found some OMFG NOT THE ANTHRAX CRAP AGAIN! MORE »

Who says Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11? An ABC News shocker says the Illinois senator used to be known as “Barry O’Bomber.” It allegedly referred to his basketball shot. MORE »

If we were a little more gullible, today we would be the proud winners of the Peabody Award that’s going to Brian Ross and his goddamned prop phone. MORE »

The golden era of ABC News’ The Note is finally over. Mark Halperin is leaving his post as chief defender of the Bush Administration ABC’s “political director” so he can write more books that he’ll personally beg you to buy. MORE »

Internet video star Ayman al Zawahiri has appeared in many popular Al Qaeda messages that are only released in the middle of the night on unknown “websites” and then provided to U.S. TV news producers in the morning by “American terror analysts.” It happened again while you slept, and this time Zawahiri’s just reading old Air America transcripts. Bush is “an alcoholic, liar and gambler with an addictive personality,” says the terror bogeyman turned self-help guru. MORE »

ABC News investigative star Brian Ross has finally gone too far with his “I’m talking on this pretend cell phone” picture: Now the Feds are trying to record all the calls made on the fake mobile. MORE »

Finally, the U.S. government has noted our Hard Work. MORE »

• John Kerry is not funny. Neither is the situation in Iraq that Republican candidates are distancing themselves from. [WP, NYT]

• “Tuesday’s vote will deliver a referendum on six years of Bush’s leadership.” [WP]
• Network news anchors — The New Class, face their first prime-time national election coverage ratings battle. Brian, Katie, and Charlie will have support from master sensei Brokaw, Schieffer, and Stephanopoulos respectively. [WSJ]
• Republican leadership’s talking points received loud and clear by average Republicans: “The biggest thing that I’m afraid of is that the Democrats will take power. We’d see an increase in taxes and weaker national defense. Plus, there would be a redistribution of income. Big-time.” [WP]
• Hillary Clinton issued her “most comprehensive criticism” to date on all things Iraq. [NYT]
• The genius of Barack Obama laid bare: every campaign stop promotes his book, his chances in 2008, and the Democratic candidate he is ostensibly supporting. [NYT]
• Tommy Carcetti Martin O’Malley is trying to talk his way to Annapolis. [WP]
• It’s easy! Create your own vicious Campaign ad! [WSJ]