Tag: 9/12

Andrew Breitbart Still Suffers From Serious Boy-Touching Denial

We remember it like it was yesterday, but actually it was 9/12: Your part-time morning editor was walking dejectedly through a Tea Bagger field, and then Andrew Breitbart appeared from the mist in a gorgeous Victorian gown and drunkenly...

Scientist Proves Teabagger Signs Aren’t Racist, Exposes Media Conspiracy

A graduate student from UCLA photographed 250 signs that she saw at the 9/12 FreedomWorks rally, and then did scientific experiments to determine whether these signs were racist or not. The grad student's analysis found "only about a quarter...

A Full Report On Andrew Breitbart Touching Boys At the 9/12 Death Picnic

We have been trying to suppress our memories of the recent 9/12 FreedomWorks death picnic, but you know what they say, if you don't come out and talk about it, one day you'll just snap. So we have transcribed...

New FreedomWorks Diversity Thing Sounds Really Fake

FreedomWorks is constantly on the move. We mean this figuratively and literally, since FreedomWorks is always very busy hosting death picnics -- but also it actually moved its headquarters, because it is so afraid of all the libruls. And...

Here’s the Stupid 9/12 Video!

If you want to get a feel for what the 9/12 rallies in Washington, Sacramento, and St. Louis were like, just take your laptop to the nearest Old Country Buffet, flip it open next to the meat bar, and...

Andrew Breitbart Gropes Youth At 9/12 Death Picnic

Your Wonkette foolishly agreed to help Liz Glover and her fancy VICE Teevee crew "cover" the 9/12 FreedomWorks picnic. We will file a full report on this monstrosity shortly, but until then: Andrew Breitbart fingerbanged Riley Waggaman, and it...

SUV Announces Magical March On Washington Happening On 9/12

If there's anything we've learned from this koran-burning non-story, it's that people from Florida are idiots. (Haha, we already knew that.) Well get ready, Washingtonians, because, according to the back of this Toyota RAV4 spotted on I-395, Floridians are...

WAR-ring Tea Party Patriots Ask for Handouts

The Tea Party Patriots have been super-busy lately, emailing about some "WAR" they're fighting against George Soros and the Obamunists and also traveling to all of Glenn Beck's Miracle Parties. Participating in these fun activities isn't free, so the...

Teabaggers Now Plan To Ruin 9/11 With 9/12 Attack On Washington

Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation's most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now,...